you see, when you first left,
it took such a long time to take out the shards
of glass, and fishing lines, and pieces of paper with
****** drawn hearts, and deflated balloons.
it took such a long time to find a needle and thread and sew all the
wounds.
it took days, months, years. and the stitches.
they were on my arms, legs, stomach, neck.
the scars did not heal until, until,
three years later.
you see, i put some scar cream. tried different
foundations.
placed different men’s hands and covered the scars with
bellowed ideas and bruises.


the scars have started bleeding, opened like
ripe tomatoes.
i do not have enough hands to cover them,
so i think i’ll sit here
until the bed soaks through.

just a couple of bottle of pills
to recover me from being this ill
thought i'd survive
thought i'd prevail and thrive
abandoned by my only happiness
didn't know it'd come to this
tell my ma i love her
and take care of my brother
tell my pa i forgive him
i'll be in a better place now watching them
tell my good friends i'll miss them all
and my enemies to start crying and crawl
for this is their fault they are to blame
along with my demons they're not ashamed
tell my lovely boy i do
though he didn't ask i'm sure he wanted to
tell them all i'll see them soon
i'll be a star watching them along with the moon
tell them all to live their life happily
since i never got the chance to be
and now my Great Father take me with you
take my soul and cleanse it too
i know this is a sin i've just committed
but i just wanted to be safe happy and uplifted

*-djs

What is it like
To be nameless
Is it as if you were faceless?
What is a title but a proclamation
A proclamation
Of who you are.
Is it your position?
Your soul?
Who is that?
Who is that over there?
Is it John?
Or is it Michael?
It is untitled
What are they like?
What DO they like?
What is their religion?
Their culture?
Their ethnicity?
No one knows
And no one cares
For in this world
You are untitled
And you are invisible
In a sea of untitleds

(glow in the dark stars)
A pack costs two dollars
But the joy it brings is worth manyfold.
They laugh,
Calling me immature, childish.
But have you ever been afraid of the darkness the way I am?
When the dark arrives, so does isolation,
and emptiness and hate and pain and self-loathing.
That's all I know of darkness,
so leave my packet of stars be,
they watch over me when no one else will.

(dreamcatchers)*
A bit of string, a few feathers,
and perhaps a bead or two.
Call it superstition, but I believe.
Because nightmares aren't just bad dreams to me,
they are possible glimpses into the future, where desolation dominates,
where the monsters in my head are as real as you and me,
and they tower over and hunt me.
Be sure not to break the string,
for they say all the bad dreams
will be released into the real world.