Burning inside myself
I itch to break free
To spread my wings
To fly away, my own way

Living my life to please others
While letting myself just
Sink-
I've done this for too long

But how to change
To what I am
Without hurting or losing
The one's I hold dearest?

"Those who matter don't mind
Those who mind don't matter"
Or so they say,
But I find this untrue

How could my own family not matter?
This is why I've hidden,
For so long I've been a butterfly
While inside is a black panther

The winds of change are stirring
Making me jumpy,
Agitated-
Ready to break free

But am I?

This place so familiar
So well known to me
Has an empty feeling
Today the glass seems more fragile

The music plays to fill the silence
But it has no effect
I hear it clearly
Yet I'm still so alone

The sun shines
But not on me
No reasons for the clouds
That hover over me

No dog to bark at cars
No birds sings songs
The flies are still
I'm here alone

So alone
So very alone

They took me away from it all..
Made me start over
Took me to the hospital again and called me "Crazy"
Told me to take my medication
Told me to sleep without any worries
Told me that everything was going to be okay, if I **** my... pills
Forced me into therapy
Made me talk about my "Problems"
P r e t e n d e d ..
Like I was going to get better
Or at least humored it
Now I sit alone
Like usual
I told you I needed you..
That
I needed a place to stay
S o m e o n e
S o m e t h I n g..
But no..
You told me you had to much "Anxiety"
That I needed to "figure things out"
That you wouldn't "let me in your door" if I ran to you
Because I needed you..?..
Who says that, when someone needs them?
What kind of a person..
And then you go and write a poem about me the same me you wouldn't even open your door for..
I mean seriously can I not... trust anyone..
And I love how after all of this I'm still considered the "Crazy one"
After what you did
Did you even take the time.?.
Did you know that I was going to **** myself?
Maybe you did..
But you still wouldn't open your door
You
Didn't listen...
And now..
Now..
Well, I think I'm going "Crazy"..

insanity just looks too good on you