i crave you
as if you were nicotine
i want you
even if you poison me
i miss you
though you disregarded me
you’re like a drug
i can’t stop craving
even when you hurt me
i just need another hit
to resolve the pain
of your absence
i was nothing to you
i never understood
but now you’re gone
and i’ve moved on
but the emptiness
still lingers
i miss the touch
of your fingers
but yours do not
miss the touch of me.

Rolled up in a fluffy white blanket
recalling the day you bought it.
just imaging your smooth skin
wrapped around me.
my dreams filled with thoughts
and mostly those of you,
because my love for you
reaches from life to my dreams.
a feeling on safety and protection
from this blanket you bought me
just because you got it for me,
without it i would tremor
with fears from those who haunt me.
but right now in this moment
i can forget those fears.
i can pretend you are here
even if it’s forbidden
because i love you dearly
and you always appear
in my dreams.
Your smell lingers
in clothes you give me
to remind me of you.
so i will never forget
my love for you.

In this moment all i can think of
is the extent of infinite love
i have for you—
though these objects are not you
they sure do keep the memory of you
close to heart.

Bury me in the
Yellow Flowers
As my thoughts
drift away.

a shot of *****
home alone
cries at night
when you’re alone
stealing cigarettes
and burnt up matches
slim smiles
tired laughs
burning daydreams
mind of fire
long days
late hours
missing love
wanting more
maintaining youth
with society’s
corruption
sad ideas
and no love
not a call
from heaven
above
fearing nothing
scared of
everything
acting tough
needing love

it’s hard being a kid
when society pushes
you to grow up.

i don’t strive to be beautiful
but i find beauty in humor.

i’d rather charm you with my personality
instead of a face i paint on.

i’d rather see you smile because of me
than to flirt without boundaries.

i’m different and i want you
to love that about me.

i cling to those who hurt me most
and those who don’t care about me.

i’d let someone take all of my happiness
in exchange for a second of attention.

i went from smiles
to sadness
too fast.

i saw my glow
become dim
and disappear

but i was a stranger
to who i am
now.

9 months ago
and today -
i’m a different person.

though my smile
still turns sad
i’m better than i was.