I’ve lost control of my own body.
the sadness and despair that has shown up
has decided to stay.
my words don’t feel like my own
the slashes in my wrists
aren’t what I want
the burning in my soul
is flameless and smoky
I didn’t want this,
i want my control
i want MY control!
it’s my body,
but my brain
lost it’s reigns.
i’m scattered and messy
and i can’t do anything about it
the lack of motivation
to the lack of sleep
turned my normal life
into a living hell.
why has my life
become a hassle,
where is my control?

i can’t control
my feelings
because they’re
far too strong.
i can’t control
my fears
because fear
has overcome me.
i can’t control
my dreams
because they
left.

what have i become?

that certain type of sadness
that makes you forget yourself.
sadness controls
every move you make
every thought you think
every tear you shed.
the sadness you can
not seem to shake.
the burning in your mind,
wanting so badly
to be happy and normal.
the icy cold tears
that run down your face
when you least expect it.
as soon as you think you’re
in a better place,
sadness reaches down
into the depths of your soul
and casts itself throughout
your entire body.
grasping your head with
fear and agony.
all the screaming that only occurs
in your mind
creates that certain type of sadness.