Forsaken and tattered
chest torn bitter,
Warm desire strewn
on tremulous wings,
Forlorn whispers
asphyxiate my will
.....the end.

The wave,
Not slow, not rolling,
All the sudden crashing,
Crashing over me, All of me

It's this day
There's a feeling about it
One all its own
It holds the truth...
You're gone

I walk, ever so steady
One foot in front, then switch
A concentration...Just to not fall
Past concrete and marble,
To one etching

This one etching
Not only engraved in stone,
But the most in my mind
A name, a few dates
The last date lining up
With the day my wave hit

The rain sinks into cotton
Drenching my shoulders, my heart
I stand, I'm still, I weep
Weep with the rain.

My sorrow,
My maddness
Is not because of you.
No, it's because of
The absence of you

Retrace my steps
No looking back
My moan marking your eternal place
I'm done tumbling through the water
Though I still can not find breath

Everything else today
Everything felt, everything thought,
All took flight
Because all that matters
Is I miss you.
I love you.
And...
I can never have you.

This wave, this wave I feel
Swept you away with the tide
No sweet endings,
No goodbyes.

Today, I remember
Times fought, and times lost
On this day, I remember you
Your lovely, smiling face
But the wave will wash that smile
Maybe from the sand,
But not from my heart.
Never this heart.

I once stood tall and confident and strong.
You brought me to the floor; belittled and scared.
I fear you the way circus animals fear their trainers.
Crack your whip! Once? Twice? Three times? Four?
Until I jump through your hoops flawlessly.

Bring me down.

Respect? Is that what you call it?
Love? Is that what it is?
Break down my walls just enough to damage me
and see what lies inside.
But not enough for anyone else to notice.

Two faces.
Both terrifying.
Which one is real?

Smile and bring me my meals
Frown and bark your commands.

Who are you? What am I?

Expect me not to retaliate; to look and feel happy.
Because you love me..

Love?
Is that what it is?

We litter the earth with our beer cans, our cigarettes, our roaches...
We leave our bad habits behind after we are long gone for the future generations to find.
Our intoxicated actions just as bad as debris in our oceans,
Our inebriated words just as harmful as the air pollution around us.

The only mark we leave behind the only memory of us...
Is the one trying to impress the rest of the population that remains faceless.
with our stupidity and self-harm and belligerence.
Our useless ability of the consumption of false courage, wisdom, and strength.

We know not to take a step away and look upon ourselves and realize and see
that the supposed 'advanced species' is reduced back to the primitveness and truculence we thought was long lost.
We know not to take a step back and see we abuse the loved ones surrounding us
Through lying, neglect, and verbal and physical attacks
We forget the things that matter to us most; ambitions, hopes and dreams.
Our friendships, family, and loves...

It changes us as people into something subhuman
It brings out the side of us that was never there; a rage and anger we have never experienced, and sometimes never realize exists.
It replaces the good intents we have with ones that are selfish and harmful.
The good amount of fear instilled, with false hope and courage.


We not only destroy ourselves physically,
But mentally, emotionally, spiritually...
Some say it is all a spiritual journey, and of course it can be, but when so abused and the supply so decimated,
It's digging your own grave.

By the fond name that was his own and mine,
The last upon his lips that strove with doom,
He called me and I saw the light assume
A sudden glory and around him shine;
And nearer now I saw the laureled line
Of the august of Song before me loom,
And knew the voices, erstwhile through the gloom,
That whispered and forbade me to repine.
And with farewell, a shaft of splendor sank
Out of the stars and faded as a flame,
And down the night, on clouds of glory, came
The battle seraphs halting rank on rank;
And lifted heavenward to heroic peace,
He passed and left me hope beyond surcease.