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 Feb 2014 Red-Writing-Hood
thrcy
I told you to not fall in love with me, I said.

Because who would love a girl
who would rather spend time writing poetry about you
than acknowledging your existence

Why would you spend your time loving a girl
whose hobbies are pushing people away
and wavering opportunities as they pass by

And why would anyone want to love a girl like me
who leaves you behind just to be in her own little world
and completely forgets to bring you along with her adventures

For why on earth a boy like you love a girl
who'll constantly go on journeys all by herself
leaving you behind without any notice
and just randomly comes in to of your life again

How dare you fall in love with somebody like me
who can't even face her own demons and can't
admit to herself that she's scared of getting hurt
and doesn't want anybody getting close to knowing the real her
for they'll know how mess up and broken she is

To why would someone amazing as you love someone
who leaves you hanging all the time
with one word replies and wrecked expectations

So why bother to love a girl like me
even if hurts me so bad to do this so
I'll be the first to run away you
no matter how great I think you are
for I don't want to damage you as much as I have damaged myself

I am not like those other girls you speak of
who seems normal and very beautiful
so why love me instead?

Now why would you love me
when I can't even love myself and can't see beauty in me
a girl who is so indecisive about every single thing
and can't even go up to tell you how much shes cares
but rather admires you from a far

Please, don't waste your time loving me
because the time we share together
will just became a faded memory
made into a tragic poem
and you'll never know why it ended that way

It's worth it, he said.

You fell in love with a girl like me anyways
solving me like I'm this big mystery game
constantly trying to figure every part of me
to why I became this way
trying to fix me and help me become who I once was

So I let you fall in love with me, deeply into love
because you are the closest thing to happiness for me
and for once in my life
I can make a poetry filled with joy
for you have showed me true self love
and believed in me that I could get better
Sometimes your mother will look at you
like a dead language, some untranslatable
character. Speak anyway.

Sometimes your burning heart’s smoke signals
will make her weep and splutter,
or pass over her like incense, slightly
too sweet, and thick with silence.

Hand her an apple.
Know she might choke before she sees
the core.
Feed her anyway.

Sing your hymns with windows open
when the house is ablaze, do not
suffocate. Gasp through carbon,
remember who gave you your
stardust: you are
heavenly. Burning bibles
purges nothing, and screaming
into pillows
is not a prayer, precious girl.
I haven't written to you in a very long time.

That's not true, I've written of you,
But I've written lies.

I've written about how you hurt people,
And how I'm stronger without you.
How I let you die inside me,
Like a miscarried child, someone I was never really meant to meet
and how I'm better now.

But in truth, darling, I miss you.

And I hate you.

And I want you,

but I can't have you.

Your kisses were sweet relief,
Your taste was divine.
And now I look for your face on every corner,
I look for a reason to call you up again,
even though I know there is never a good reason
to call you up again.

She hates you.
He's afraid of you,
But they don't know what you mean to me.

I love you.
I am not afraid,
The night I almost gave you my heart was not a cry for help.

I want you back.
I want to feel like I am human.

I want to open up and wear my love, seeping through my sleeve.

I am so lost without you.
There will come a day when you will no longer haunt me.
Your words will no longer circulate in my head.
I will no longer see your face in strangers on the street,
And the sound of mothers calling their children by your name will no longer cut me adrift.

Yes,
There will come a day when I no longer bewail your loss.
I will not miss you as I do now.
Thoughts of you will no longer burn like the pain of a bee sting,
and your absence will not ache like the phantom pain of an amputee.

Soon enough,
There will come a day when I meet a person,
maybe in the coming months or maybe in a few years,
whose presence will bring butterflies, as yours once did,
and their words will lift me so high that I feel stars on my lashes.

And, on that day,
I will feel whole again.
 Nov 2013 Red-Writing-Hood
Elise
My demons came up to me and introduced themselves today
and told me:
Humans are fire
Knowing no bounds they can either warm you or burn you  
attracted like moths to a light post you find yourself addicted to sparks in the black
thats why you love them;
you're looking for yourself

Only a sad collection of scars and almost's,

I was a match  
&
You were an inferno

Trying your hardest to please everyone just to leave yourself with nothing but ashes and a couple dollar bills
You stood there and burned, gluing your lips to my ear so that every time I turned I could hear you ringing in my head to set you free
Fully leaving would have been too easy
I swear you could have been sitting in the back seat of my car having a conversation with the headlights of oncoming cars as I drove home in the darkness
Slamming my hands on the steering wheel to try to atone for my own mistakes

you burned yourself to forget
&
I burned myself to feel

when the rain came neither of us were ready
I seem to have washed away
but you
simply lit another match
(one that isn't me)
I have quite knowledgeable darkness surrounding me//you are not gone, you simply have left my center of attention
 Oct 2013 Red-Writing-Hood
Sarina
he said
girls like me should come with yellow tape
police property, do not cross

and if that is because I am *******

I guess now
my skin should say: crime scene, do not

touch

because I am crying over men like they’re
still just boys.
Part one*

When the boy at the bus stop whistles at you on your way home from the Take Back the Night march,
Give him the finger.

When your boyfriend tells you he only likes long hair,
Shave your head.

When a stranger calls you a ****,
Say thank you.

When your mother tells you not to write the poem,
write it anyway. Perform it. Take the criticism, take the prize.

When they target your hometown with hate crimes,
Explain calmly. They are mistaken.
When that doesn't work,
Fight. Yell. Make them afraid to cross you.

When your best friend needs to cry,
Be quiet.

When the world tries to ignore you,
Don't let them.
Be strong, be proud, be courageous.

You are a role model.*

Part two

The first time he hits you,
Stay with him.

When he asks for your forgiveness for the sixth time,
Give it to him.

When he does not stop at no,
Close your eyes. Wait until he's finished.

When the girl tears down years worth of built up confidence with one number,
Starve yourself.

When a boy whistles in your direction.
Give him the finger. Turn away. Hide your smile.
It shouldn't matter that he was the only one who noticed the colour of your lipstick.

When your lover sheds kisses on your wounds,
Laugh. He will not ask you to stop.
You would not ask him to stop unless this was somehow different.

When you begin to backslide,
Do not ask for help.
Break down in public.

Love them when they start to worry.
Love them like you never learned to hate,
Make them scared that you will.

You were supposed to know better.

Part three

You are an abstract work of art.
A compilation of every sort of experience wrapped up in one.
You have made mistakes, you can make up for them.

Be proud.

When they try to lock you up,
be proud.

When they try to hold you back,
Be proud.

When they call you a hypocrite,
Do not run, do not be ashamed.
Forgive them.

*Forgive yourself.
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