There’s something funny
about a loved one’s death
it’s like climbing up a flight of stairs
and thinking there’s one more stair than there is
so you put your foot down
and it passes through the air and hits the ground
it’s a shock,
your heart beats really fast
and then nothing.
Absolutely nothing.

I remember your face
your smile
your laugh
I remember the times
When, as a kid,
I giggled in glee
and flew paper aeroplanes around
on your lap
I remember your hand
how it fit into mine
like it was meant to be
how you told me
everything’s gonna be alright

and now I remember
the huge gaping hole in my chest
where my heart used to be.

I remember staring at your face
And thinking,
“this isn’t you”
I remember how they dressed you up
and laid you there
and I struggled with the realization
that someone, something in my life
would never come back

it was like I watched you
walk into the ocean
deeper and deeper
until the waters covered your head
I was screaming, crying
Begging you to come back
For me
But you didn’t hear a word I said

Yeye, Mama, YiDioh,

I sing what I cannot speak
I write what I cannot say
My heart beats for you
I will never give up

Everything you taught me
How to be brave
How to be strong,
When I’m afraid
How to press on
How to hold on
How to keep the light in my eyes alive

I love you,
You had a great ride,
And I will never forget you.

Midas my love,
you are a king among thieves.
The humble saviour that lifted the beggar man's leftovers up from her knees
where she'd knelt in prayer, or defeat.
It doesn’t matter.
You made me a queen.
And we, ruled our world like no other lovers ever could.
when you'd touch me and say, "baby, you're golden."
You'd touch me, and I would feel soft beneath your fingertips,
when our lips would meet,
those moments were more precious than all the riches in the world,
Those moments were so rare.
Midas, my love,
You made me into a fountain of youth.  
demanded I water your roses that would not grow themselves.
And I did.
I poured my heart and soul out until it overflowed into the garden,
I watched you stare in wonder, I watched you fall in love with me
like a child.
Selfish and unafraid.
You named me life, you named me gift,
You did not name me woman.
Midas, my love.
golden hearts do not float.
They sink in disappointment and hit bottom with a thud the third night you forget to call.
Though you will not see them rust, they will become cold and hard and heavy.
Midas, love, am I every bit as precious as you wanted me to be?
Am I a trophy to show to strangers, am I a symbol to kneel before like an alter,
Am I the idea of perfection you sought?
Midas, your highness, king of kindness, you are alone.
Statues of saints are made to look at, not to love.
Martyrs were not forged to love in return.

Ahh, the friend zone.  Have you ever been there? Stuck between wanting and not being wanted by who you are certain must be the love of your life? Well don't you worry your lonely little head any longer, because experts have finally developed a fool-proof way to escape this unfair wasteland void of affection.

Step one:
Admit what has happened.  You, friend, have been friend zoned.  For some unfathomable reason, girl has deemed you, undesirable. Do not be discouraged when she calls you brother.  Instead, accept the challenge of making ****** seem appealing.

Step two:
Spend less time with her.  Make her feel as if she values your company more than you do hers.  She will begin to feel confused and lonely. When she calls, do not pick up until at least the fifth ring.

Step three:
Up your flirting game. If she doesn't respond positively, send her a sarcastic remark via text guilting her into giving you more attention.

Step four:
Change. Change everything about yourself until you lose the person she first befriended.  When she sees you, it will be like looking in the face of a stranger.

Step five:
Break the touch barrier.  Invading a woman's personal space with unwarranted physical gestures is a sure way to make her used to your dominating body movements.  Soon, she should submit to her instincts, and to you.  

Step six:
Stop doing things for her.  You can't expect a girl to want to date you when you already give her everything a boyfriend would and she doesn't even have to put out.  (I mean, the only reason women even have *** is to keep their man around).  Instead, tell her to do something for you, like making a sandwich.

Step seven:
Explain to her why her boyfriend, girlfriend, other love interest, or singleness is not right for you.  I mean, her.  She is, after all, incapable of making her own decisions, or else she would not need to lean on you for advice.  Understand that you are better than anything else she could want, she just doesn't know it yet.

Step eight:
Date other people.  Women easily become jealous of other women.  This will make her small mind react territorially.  Much like step two, this will lead her to feel insecure around you, and she will begin to show you only her most formal, prettiest parts.  

Step nine.
Confess your feelings for her.  Humans in general can never tell when someone is romantically interested.  Overstep boundaries, tell her how you are almost too good for her, and she will never find someone like you.

Step ten.
Congratulations! You've done it.  You, sir, have escaped the friend zone.
She does not look at you when she walks by. She does not call.
You, are no longer her friend.

There are days I feel sorry for loving you.
Days when my guilt rises with the sun.
Days the sky is pink with my feelings for you,
When only I know this is warning of a storm to come.

I am Calypso.
No weathered sailor can deny that they care for me, even if they never wanted sea legs.
But now addicted to the unpredictable rise and falls of the water,
Its now the constant rocking that sends you asleep,
gives you reason to wake in the morning.

I am love.

And love is never clean.
Like the day of our first kiss
When I spilled my heart out all over your shoes, I stooped to pick it up but you said, you didn't mind getting your feet wet.

Love is so much more  now.

I called it love when I first heard you wrap my name in ocean waves, and promised me it'd stay afloat.
This is not love.
This is irresistibility
This is is verging on obsession
This is a passion I know you never knew existed before me.

I am love, '
You are but the love I gave to you
You are a victim of my disease.
I can bring any atheist to his knees once I have my sights set on him.
I warned you.

I am love.
You a flirting with danger,
Love, your feet are more than wet,
Love, you are in over your head,
I only hope you can swim.

1.   Stop looking for constellations in people who don’t even have a star in them
2. Just because your veins
Just because your head
Just because your lungs
Feel like they’re about to explode
They aren’t
3. Loneliness is normal so if it at anytime it pierces your skin
Buy an earing
4. Your sanity is not determined by all the times
You screamed in your mind and no one listened
5. Putting your heart in the hands of people
Who only crush it isn’t brave
It’s foolish
6. Stop acting like a spoiled brat
Clean up the mess you made
and apologize
no matter what its always your fault
7. He isn’t an ocean
You can’t drown
But neither can you swim
Stay away from him
8. Sunsets and rainbows
Weren’t created so you
Could enjoy them
But look at them
Like they were
9. The walls you built
Around your kingdom
Will one day be knocked down
Sometimes it’s okay to surrender
10. Even though
Most people don’t have the answer
It’s okay to keep questioning
11. Your insecurities will eat you from
the inside out
be sure to order fries with that
12. No one is better or worse than you
We are all skin
And bone
And flesh
One day all of us
Will have to give back
The stardust we took
Don’t forget everything will end
So will you

(k.s)