Uplift me Lift me up I'm so far down Sometimes these words Are all I have Your words On paper HP Tears behind my eyes Held back only by the veil The veil of my pride Battle through The deep Violet, black, indigo, vertigo Demon of grief Starts at the root Travels up 'Til it becomes bile in my throat Escape in your words Escape in your worlds HP Foreign languages You sometimes speak Causes me to think In tongues I didn't think I knew Breaks me from my rumination For dashed moments in time Heart heaviness Leaden on my chest Lifts Thank you HP
blue-green hiding under a veil of vellum pulsating and fragile razor-sharp, sliver of silver turns blue-green to red paper white skin blue-green to bing-red cascading over white peace is fleeting darkness light
it isn't like you didn't know, ash and coal spilling from your mouth like a stone pit the day after a campfire; cold, dead, acrid, gray but still you want to pry it out of me reach deep down into my throat you know i protect it there too painful to release but you pry and you never know when to stop and you never know when enough is enough bright red stop signs neon red lights you waltz right through them charm your way past nothing deters, and so i curl up again a tight, miniature rosebud vulnerable, tiny thorns your over-sized hands tear right through you tear through and your tearing through breaks me it breaks it all
I can't top Simonides I won't even try But, blue and stars Are always on my mind If I could lie Upon A bed of soft, wet grass And dream, and think of what is to come next, I would do this every night From the pale setting of the sun To the soft moon's rise Life would be easy And I'd quit thinking Of my sorrowful, possible demise.
little girl hands and knees traipsing up the rooftop eyes so wild orchid child searching for a home tears on tips fingers lit clawing, clinging on words are sought mind is lost peace has come and gone
and you kept talking and weeping and telling me how sad you were how you destroyed our family how you can't believe you've done all the things you did how all you want is your family back you said this with tears in your eyes tears falling down your face and i looked at our son closed in the back seat of your truck dimple caving into his sweet smiling cheek clueless, deaf to the words spilling out of your mouth you said you think i tune out at times tune out when you're talking about these important, meaningful things things you keep talking about, ranting about and i looked again at our son, dimp-ly smiling in the back of the truck so i put a red trader joe's bag over my head tuned completely out did a little dance waved goodbye to darling little Tanner tuned out until the next time tuned out and walked away
Speaking of my ex-husband who put me on a pedestal, wanted me to perform/be a person I didn't want to be. I tried hard to be. I felt like I wore a mask on the outside and was another person on the inside. He was abusive and I could do no right in his eyes.
I flit And Flicker Too close to the flame I want to burn Alluring Burning I want To burn Heat and Hot Searing And pain Yellow-orange Red and blue Black and blue Pain Pain, I know Pain is good I want And want...
i fell and skinned my knees today you were supposed to keep me from falling i shattered today you didn't try to mend the crystal pieces you flipped my book around and read the back side i should have watched where i was going so i wouldn't fall, you said i bandaged my knees tried to glue the glinting pieces back together you were in a hazy dream when i fell smoke and sting filling your nose breathing for you apathy filling your mind filling your soul and now my mind-soul is weary my body is tired tired of your gas-lighting ways too tired to notice when i fall anymore too tired to pick up my shining pieces of crystal and glass dulled and falling to the floor you've dulled and tired me and i can't pick myself up anymore
You weave cobwebs With your smooth words With your touch and kiss You hope to wipe away The memory of how You chose it over me And still choose over me Pursue like a lover You can't seem to get enough of And I'm jealous as hell And sick to my stomach Disbelieving that A high means more to you Than me
7.9% numbs my brain but i'm still thinking of you oil and knives are what you've given me and i sit and stare and think of you erase your love soul from my memory i can't live like this anymore slit and red and drip slit and red and drip at least i feel surface pain it's easier than c-sitting curled over with sickening pangs
a turn of the head an accidental brush of lip on lip of breast on chest and breath on breath eyes lock retina lock hand on thigh hand on waist breathe yes? no... please? go...go...before I think, just go and do heat, hot, breath on breath hard and soft don't think just do feel be two one
baffled bruised wasted burning inside vascillating between hiding or running with full armor on straight into the storm afraid of what is to come but wanting it just over already praying for mercy when the storm hits show no fear
nerve endings on fire lights too bright undosed, too close to the edge ***! Bring It! DRINKS! Bring 'Em! LOVE and LIQUOR and LIFE of THE PARTY! i like it at least it's not dark at least it's not weighty at least it's not bruised and lonely and sickly extremes fast or slow extra light or extra dark undosed maybe i'll try it more often
Blue, Gold, Threaded, And bare, Spinning, Swirling, Drifting, Rare Alone, But Not She lives In her Dark world She wishes, Wants, Another to understand But life has dealt her A broken hand It hurts, But not A crown She wears Thorns, Bleeding and so, so Rare
You grabbed my wrists that day Shook me and asked, why!? I answered and answered again Then you left You walked out the door I hated myself for hating you Everything collapsed at once You were just one of the columns holding me up But you were the final column And I collapsed I couldn't see the light anymore There was no more light in the darkness So I grabbed the shiniest thing I could find And slid down to the floor The shiniest and sharpest thing I could find Grasped tightly in my hands You walked back in that day Even though I hated you, You walked back in I hated you, but you loved me You were a column collapsed on the floor Next to me, gently pulling me back into the light
Sip and warm Gold and bubble A different sort of love Transport to a nether world A respite from this time Open my mouth Glide down Heat from veins to toes Simple love From a bottle Wants nothing In Return
Toss it down Another round Drink so you won't think Dull your senses Numb your skull Heat your cold, stone veins Spinning, Warming Sipping, Burning, It will all be over soon Drink so you won't think Then start it all over again
And she sat Still as a stone Rigid in her responsibility Focused Blocking the rif and the raff Bouncing in and out of her eyesite She sat Alone, stoic Knowing... More than she should ever have to know Like a rung On a ladder Her mother clinging on She is the ground Grounded She sits