Toss it down
Another round
Drink so you won't think
Dull your senses
Numb your skull
Heat your cold, stone veins
Spinning,
Warming
Sipping,
Burning,
It will all be over soon
Drink so you won't think
Then start it all over again

And she sat
Still as a stone
Rigid in her responsibility
Focused
Blocking the rif and the raff
Bouncing in and out of her eyesite
She sat
Alone, stoic
Knowing...
More than she should ever have to know
Like a rung
On a ladder
Her mother clinging on
She is the ground
Grounded
She sits

My daughter
Strong,
Proud, and alone

I
Just
Took
That
Extra
Pill
You
Told
Me
To
Take
Will
I
Die
Or
Will
I
Wake
I
Drank
What
I
Was
Not­
Supposed
To
Drink
Now
Pills
And
Alcohol
Mix
To
Sink
Within
My
So­ul
A
Drop
To
Think
I'm
Dead
I
Think
Good
Night
A
Wink
Or
Twelve
O­r
100
Or
Forever
Winks
I
Love
You
HP
You
Saved
Me
Many, many
Winks
You'll know
If I
Survived
If you
Hear
From me
Again
Xo
I love you
More
Than
You
Will
Know

Do you ever feel
Like the words are stuck,
So much you want to say?
But you allowed someone
To break the connection
Between your soul and fingers?
Do you ever feel
So pushed and pulled
By other's emotions
You forget which ones
Are truly your own?
Are you so compelled
To give and give to others
You whither in the drought
That's left behind?
Boundaries, boundaries are
So hard for me to find.
They're invisible laser beams
Protecting a fine jewel.
I can't see them.
I clumsily make my way through.
I allow others to determine my path.
Where is the strength
I felt two years ago?
Will it ever return?
Until then, I swing from here to there,
Tripping, slipping along the way.
Searching for the strength I knew
Before my world was turned upside-down.

She sits
And stares
Blank
Turns to the left
Turns to the right
Cold
Alone
No one
There
She sits
And stares
She wants
A warm
She wants
A beat
A heart beat
Warm
Held
Right there
But no
She sits
Alone
And stares
People
Here
People
There
But alone
She sits
And stares
Cross leg-ged
Cold head-ed
All alone
They flit
To the left
They flit
To the right
But no one
Sees her there
She wants
A beat
A heart
Beat
Warm and
Pulsing
There
But alone
She sits
And
Stares
How can
One
With
So many
Others
Be so
All
Alone?
She sits
In a box
A self-made
Box
And revels
In the
Dark
Yearns for
Love
And warmth
And peace
But chooses
Night
Instead

No, I don't think I will
No, tonight I think I won't
My stomach is protruding, though
I feel full
And I don't like that one bit
No, I don't think I will tonight
No, I think I won't
But I can't stop thinking
How my stomach passes over
My hallowed out hips and bones
No, I won't do it
But, yes, maybe I will
I don't think I can stand one minute more
This feeling of overly full
No, I don't think I'll do it now
But, yes, maybe just one time more
It won't hurt anyone
It's just for fun
It keeps the scale right in place
So, yes, maybe this one time more
My doctor told me , "No!"
She said take this extra yellow pill
And you'll feel like everything's in its place
But, no, I didn't take that pill
That pill will make me fat
So I'll toss up all I ate tonight
And then fall perfectly flat
Upon my bed
Curled up instead of
Feeling all obese
I'm done with rolls
And heaves and hoes
And ready for floats and leaps
I don't care for the stares
Of the strangers and theirs
I'm gonna do as I please