I fiend to be clean
My envy shines of the brightest green
To purge this virus, this disease
This curse that clings to me
To be normal is what fills my dreams
Able to love someone who loves me
Without shame or misery
The opposite my history
Lies and pain my biography
Why do I insist living this day to day
Nightmare of ***, drugs, and alcohol
When I know **** well it's gonna fail in every way
Purity is not what I see, it's not me
That word should not be in my vocabulary
Failure is at my core, disappointment is what's in store
A scull and crossbones my sign
Compelled to cross the lines
With poison in my blood, heart starts to race
Eyes dilated as I face my fate
It floods my vision in this head on collision
Once again placing me in position for victory
Maybe this will be the fatal wound that finally kills the fiend.

5'10", built strong
With long, dark, fiery hair
Of course the carpets match the drapes
But you won't find any hair down there
Eyes as blue as the sky
After a summer's rain shower
I stride with confidence and a dimpled smile
Prime thighs, able to grind for hours
A constellation of freckles each inch of my face
The softest skin and the sweetest taste
Free-thinking as flowing water
Lips red and full, waiting to devour
I am a rare breed, indeed.
There is no one like me
I have a heart of gold... so I've been told
Naive I am, a passionate fool
Laughter my elixir
Aries my sign, fire my fuel

I never knew the written word
Could flow like such fine silk
Wrapping my body
In a far away day dream world
Each syllable a tender touch
Each vowel a sweet kiss
And each rhyme...
Oh, each rhyme is something special
For it brings ecstasy across the universe
On the wings of an angel

For so long this has been my home
now I'm broken and bruised and all alone
a split decision, a second in time
determines my fate, find Nirvana or die

Livin day to day is not the way to stay sane
I should know the bottle doesn't heal
I've been at it for 18 hundred and 28 days, straight
that's a lot of poison and it goes right to the brain
the pain, I can't feel it, it's insane

And round and round I go, again and again
failure after failure like it wasn't a sin
unpredictable as fire, desire
I just wanna get higher and higher

I know I should stop this, it's crazy, absurd
I'm disturbed, I need help with the cure
my body may be here but my mind is gone
so long to this path, another has begun

Don't **** it up this time, don't dare ***** it up
gotta keep your head high and don't be tough
follow your heart, you know it the best
and you know it will lead you to your greatest success

Love is such an easy word
when speaking of sky and earth
When speaking of souls of fire
and minds that flow like rivers
Bodies that fall into one another
like perfect molds of clay
Love is such an easy word
when felt only for a day
But when you want to actually stay
and lay and know my insides out
Break my walls and accept my faults
Is when love begins to stray
For I know nothing is forever
boredom will take hold
Building from the ground is harder
so my walls remain cold
My love for the earth will always come first
before a lonely human
But in truth my desire for you
requires the words
I love you.

Can't you see baby, that I'm insane
Thinkin it'll be different but the result remains the same
Broken hearts and broken dreams is all I see
I've accepted my fate as a never ending tragedy.
All in vain, I crave the pain
Embrace the bleeding as I rise again
But back to the ashes I'll be eventually
The cycle continuing, proving my insanity.
Depression over passion, hatred over reason
God give me something that I can believe in
That's what I scream from the top of my lungs
Gettin the pipe ready, it's time to get spun
Tying the noose tighter and tighter
Just trying to get a little bit higher.
Can't you see baby, that I'm insane
Thinkin it'll be different, but the result remains the same
Hit and release, watch the blood flow
Mind starts to race as I let my soul go.

Love is never lost - it may wilt from time to time, neglected and forgotten by the fear and uncertainty of life - But it is never lost. Sometimes we must dig down deep to the roots of love, where it all started from and was able to grow, to remember it needs nourishment and time and balance of all elements in order to thrive.

These words I speak,
you don't understand.
This feeling I'm feeling,
you can't comprehend.
The sadness in my eyes,
that twinkle of sorrow.
My past is calling,
can I make it til tomorrow?
I want you to know me,
my abstract vision
The tingles I got,
from your appreciation.
The energy I felt when I was not in arms reach,
magnetized me, mesmerized me
I struggle to hold the connection.
Is it me that's losing steam... not so easy and free?
I want more, I need more.
An addict I am, for everything, for life itself.
There are times I have nothing,
Can I **** a little of yours to revive myself?

Ignore me for an hour, I'll ignore you for two
Hurt me once, and I'll hurt you a few
Make me cry, go ahead, try and make me cry
Told myself I never would, that I would rather die
Loving you is like a beautiful death
My heart aches in pain, but you are like my last breath
I need you, I want you, why can't you say the same
I know you are strong, but you're driving me insane
Unlike you, this love thing is new to me, I never thought it was real
You showed me it was, but I didn't know this pain was part of the deal
You can't sleep when I'm there, I can't sleep without you
You need me to encourage daily but understanding me, you can't seem to do
Tell me, is this love real or like your dozen "loves" before?
I need to feel your need, your desire for me
Am I your temporary addiction, a puzzle piece in your disease?
If you love me, love me hard, patience I do not have
Tell me moon man, what exactly is your plan?

As I shine brighter than the stars in the sky
with love now in my veins
I fly higher than high.
Past the pain and the sickness
I've unraveled my soul,
Crushing the walls of my disguise -
"Here I come universe!" Hear my call!
Before the sun gave me my strength to shine,
Peace was never an option, serenity never within.
Purity never wanted and days never without sin.
Today, mother earth guides me and father sky sets me free.
With the star's purpose inside me, I am the Queen -
I wear the crown of shore and sea.

My shadow came out of the blue today
It told me lies, it told me lies
With a silver tongue and blood-shot eyes
It told me lies, it told me lies
It calls my name late at night
Carrying the cure to the pain of life

When will I speak the truth
All I hear are the lies coming through
Help me smother these feelings
******* back to reality

Will me broken heart ever heal
Can I ever love the one in the mirror
Where do we go when our past is calling
Get outta my head, my cloud is falling
It's screaming my name, help me out man
Silence the lies, silence the lies

My memories, it can take away
But there's a price, a price to pay
Insanity is the lies black hole
Serenity is where I wish to go

My sun came out of the darkness today
Reminding me that there's a better way
A mirror holds only reflections
Hand in hand, we'll find redemption
As I break the chains to fly
I've silenced the lies, I've silenced the lies

... for now

Through strength and will, a spark was born.
A spark from within,
Made entirely by itself, in the depths of my being.
As the spark became brighter,
It then exploded into an inner fire -
Self sufficient, it burns only with love and life's desire.
Each step I take away from you,
The flames grow hotter and higher.
Growing in confirmation of my value,
And this value, you can never ***** or subdue.
I am worth the world, stars, and sun.
You gave up your chance,
And THIS spark can never be undone.

A string entwined, in the mind
Wrapped in memories and dreams.
The feeling, never leaving, of bites and silent stings.
Through smiles and laughter, maybe even playful banter,
The string seems to dig in even tighter.
Cut the string! The mind begs.
The past is littered with bits of string cut before,
And the future will bring plenty more.
But this string is strong. Embedded, rooted in the core.
And sometimes I feel a slight comfort in its stings and blistering,
Knowing it's still there.
Agony, it only brings, when the moonlight stares,
But numb the pain? Ha! I do not dare.

Leave the fire going my friend
To help me find my way back again
Now it's time to greet the demons inside
Just one more time
I must numb the pain and silence the lies
Sword in hand, I'm off to battle
Although, purposely unprepared
My sword and shield are rather fragile
Sure, I'll receive cuts and bruises from the beast
But I will stuff myself at the feast, at least
It will be okay my friend, I will see you soon again

Leaving the fire's warmth, in a delusional state
The knight's own hands sealed his fate
Given freely to the beast... for one last ride
He was seen that night, for the very last time

I'm so tired of living a life of darkness
I can't see the light and I'm suffocating
I'm drowning, I'm drowning in my sorrow
I can't breath, I can't breath, I can't breath
I can't continue on, this is killing me
The poison prevents me from breaking free
Depression is blinding, I can not see
Help me, please help me, please help me
I wanna wake up and feel the sun
I wanna wake up and feel like someone
I wanna wake up and love my life
And not dispise who I am
I found a way to do it but it's not they simple
I fear the fear of living and losing my people
I can't let it go, it's all that I know
Take my hand, lift me up and say
Tomorrows a brand new day
It's time I change my ways
I'll put a smile on my face
I am not just a waste of space
My dear friends, dry your eyes
You know the reason, the reason why
I've got to go and say goodbye
When you wanna wake up and feel the sun
If you wanna smile because you're someone
When you can let all of it go, all that you know
I'll take your hand, lift you up and say
Tomorrows a brand new day
Tomorrow will be your day