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the door is still ajar and there is still a lamp lit
and hue spills out in a straight line
where I follow markings on the
sides of highways to forget
how I won't forget the impression
you leave on the sidewalk through
season after passage of next to
brightlit stripmalls somewhere
with snowcapped mountains
and lakes and lakes and lakes away know
I'll probably miss you

when streetlights burn down
when stoplights wear out
I'll be out on the ocean
you'll find me in
hillsides on
indian summer mornings
or in
rain flecks on train windows
winding trails around
provinces I'll
never figure out how to pronounce
you won't miss me
rain falls             consolidated
dust          it opens up gutters
outside        the pristine bank doors              there was (there were)

a bird (birds), and                      a
girl (laughter),   and a passenger
side                      rear-view wing
mirror (spider's long gone)         we saw
everything                                    always
party to           the                    low lights
disappearing                                            
            days (weeks, decades, et cetera),

how does this just keep happening?
the endless benefits of                      
                                    a three week
tooth whitening regime       you'll
be                            
so                            
              popular                                
                   with          all the cool kids

gutter        bees wax          shoe polish finish         forever
                                                                         in
                                                                        your midlife
                                        so bri quets; rain:
ame (雨)
pleure, Βροχή, pluvia
वर्षा, წვიმა
lullabies             in cold            words, shuffled                
you, singular field,
words, words, worlds  away,

you and I still fall                                                      you and I still I.
 May 2013 Rebecca Thomas
Icarus M
I am going to ****
and dump your body into
concrete foundations.

Where no one will find
So you will spend some time there
trapped like a hamster.

In a cage locked tight
A ghostly visage hovers
Escaping the door.

For it is unlocked
In the twilight until shut
As first light creeps up.

Forces you once more
In a meat suit of rotting
Entrapped under road.
A pen and a cup,
they are my seed,
to withstand a filthy need,
and to fulfill an empty creed.
Just hold me in your eyes.
For it is quite,
a rare sight,
to witness a Sunday Smile.

Waking up to the cold air again,
grasping hold of me again,
and the fire is gone.
The wind shuffling the pages of my life,
but I think I’m a little more stable now.
The frequent cheap, empty talks don’t bother me as much.
The songs you taught me,
stuck longer than the religion you sought for me.
Just hold me in your eyes.
For it is quite,
a rare sight,
to reach a Sunday Smile.

I stand still until,
the day gives me the words I’m looking for.
Feels like a collection of meaningful drunk words.
Whenever I look down,
I see my weary conscience,
waving hello in a shallow puddle.
Just hold me in your eyes.
For it is quite,
a rare sight,
to feel a Sunday Smile.

Although I’ve never toured the universe,
forward or reverse,
I have witnessed pale truth,
in a life of epilepsy.
She introduced me to the world,
through a Polaroid view,
as she critiqued my life of solitude.
Just hold me in your eyes.
For it is quite,
a rare sight,
to hold onto a Sunday Smile.
Lying alone in the crisp cold breaths,
of the shifting shadows,
in our aged attic,
sipping the gin from my flask.
The spirit they call Death,
it held me in its arms,
and told me I was a child beyond my present.
Not heaven sent, nor innocent.
He said the cocoon is hanging in the sky,
and soon all men will die,
right above Hamlet’s hot hair,
but all we can do is stop and stare,
but then again, Death is only a word in a liquid that freezes,
and still my guitar gently breezes.
Now plunging into another whiskey bottle so manifest,
sipping with the same spoon of my childlike past.
Listening to the songs of those times,
from the cardinals below,
The puddles in my heart, so deep, yet oh so shallow.
There are so many worlds in our eyes,
more species, more flies.
I see my reflection in the television.
Just a man I’ll never understand,
a stranger in some kind of danger.
I can’t understand why my heart races, in such frantic paces.
I’ve been watching a lot of faces in these worlds.
So many beautiful, terrible signs being orchestrated.
Too great for human hands, as it implodes in my mind’s eye.
By now the serpent is circulating through my veins,
squeezing my neck with unbearable strains.
The changing winds took away the air in our throats,
to a place higher than the highest notes,
that used to dance in our voices.
Now we are forced to suppress that feeling between us.
Your heart is just a hoax,
played like an act for the common folks.
Your eyes are no longer my golden prize,
just two dark windows,
where the creature cries.
Athena, Athena,
give us the wisdom we cannot understand.
We bow our heads, and close our eyes,
as you place the answers in our desperate hands.
You left Judas in Poland to hang himself,
and now you’re after me.
I can see her sift through each aisle,
only pausing to smell each vial,
before I drink them to denial.
Released by the oath you made me swear,
when you look into my eyes,
you can see nothing is there.
Dreamless, in a shudder,
too silent to mutter.
I found myself alone again,
becoming unknown again.
With a stomach full of whiskey,
a mind full of regret,
and a heart filled with neglect,
I want to hear my favorite songs at my funeral.
Hell and heaven are nothing but a forever dream.
So today is the last day.
The last day for the sands of time,
to appear in your eyes.
Today is the last day of my life.
The last day of our young freedom,
in the showers of flowers,
and my last day, trapped in the nightmares and thoughts,
standing alone in dreamless towers.
When studying Zen
in Minneapolis,
the Roshi
referred to mind
as a monkey,
but later
in Ann Arbor,
Sunim
referred to mind
as Buddha,
so,
since I like monkeys
and think they are Buddhas, too,
I love the mind,
even if it can be
a pain in the ***, sometimes.
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