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 Jun 2014 ray
SG Holter
Neither
 Jun 2014 ray
SG Holter
Of us wants to
Lose
Either
Of us.
 Jun 2014 ray
SG Holter
Your legs slightly bruised
From twigs and tall grass
Belong in my lap

Where you wiggle your toes
With excitement
Over cold, sweet fruit salad

And the purples and crimson
Of sun-now-down
That evade the lens of your

iPhone through the window.
What? you ask half
Laughing at my smile.

It feels like before, I'm
Tempted to say. *I have nothing
More, Your Honour.
 May 2014 ray
Monika
types of boys:
 May 2014 ray
Monika
old scars, late night *****, bruises left by a drunken father, video games laid out on the desk, poems for the girl that left.
 May 2014 ray
Monika
WITHDRAWALS
 May 2014 ray
Monika
REMEMBER HOW IT FELT WHEN HE DUG HIS FINGERTIPS INTO YOUR HIPS UNTIL YOU COULD NO LONGER FEEL ANYTHING BUT HIS ROUGH TOUCH ON YOUR SKIN? HE WAS ALWAYS SUCH AN ADDICTIVE DRUG YO YOU. YOU COULD NEVER GET ENOUGH, KEPT GOING BACK FOR MORE. YOU WEREN'T EVEN ASHAMED OF IT. THE PROBLEM WITH THAT WAS THAT ONCE HE LEFT, YOU DIDNT KNOW HOW TO FUNCTION. YOU NEVER KNEW WHAT WITHDRAWAL FELT LIKE UNTIL HIM.
 May 2014 ray
dreambeliever
I told you slow was manageable.
I told you I understood.
So forgive me for waking up feeling like time should no longer be wasted.
Because suddenly I realized that you never took the time to understand.
And suddenly I was aware that true love does not waste.

It began when I felt myself pushing away in my mind.
But it manifested itself in that extra space between us when we sat by the water.
And then was when I recognized how I hold you a little less and just a little less tightly.
I recognized how I no longer search the crowded room for those eyes,
or gaze at your face every time we drive.
Because I can't ever feel the pain again, the pain that is far too familiar.
And I saw it coming when I finally looked around the crowd.

I was suddenly aware of how much I have given,
and that now I have nothing left.
The more I let go of, the more I thought I would get something better in return.
The more I thought that the love I wanted was worth more than everything I could ever have.
But with nothing left to give, I still do not have what I struggled to attain for so long.
With nothing left to give, I realize that I never stopped half way, I just kept going.

I kept going so far that you did not even have to blink an eye.
So far that it pains me to have come to the realization,
that it is time to turn around.
Go backwards on what brought me so far, and what could have brought me further.
But everyone needs the slightest incentive to keep going.
And you never even blinked an eye.
 May 2014 ray
Monika
I've got to stop writing poems about you. my entire journal is filled with your name and I'm not entirely sure how I'm passing all my classes when all I ever do is daydream about your hands. i think I'm going insane because lately, it's gotten to the point where I am wishing I was the white cotton sheets that you carelessly sleep in. I have found myself making wishes to be the cigarettes you love to smoke so deeply; so I could be in between your lips and you would be addicted to me.
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