"hold up
some fingers.
any number."

i hold  up 3

and his heart breaks  

because
that's the number
of times
i ought to be in love
for

and he knows
he can't be
the third

only the fourth

you won't understand
everything i am
about to tell you

and i won't listen
sometimes
when you talk
about the things
that don't make sense to me

you will frown
and i will scowl

and kiss away
the lines
the way you kiss
my swollen eyes
and make my cheeks
dry

you will go
for long drives
into the night
and i will wake up early
and go for long walks
and try be back
to kiss you
before the sun
reaches your eyes

i will turn down the music
and you will
turn it up

and i won't change the song
the way you will
or hide the remote behind my back
with a teasing smile
the way you do

but i will appear clueless
when you look for your watch
(it will be around my wrist)

and you will pretend
that time doesn't matter to you
(although it does)
and i will pretend
that time does matter to me
(although it doesn't)
and drink tea
inhaling cigarette smoke
while you drink coffee
and exhale
grey
into me