Summer, Baby girl I said we need to talk. That is the last thing I ever got to say to you. I wish I could say what I need to to your face. That you where not so scared to face me. That you could hear my voice one last time. I feel I deserve that. To be able to say good bye one last time, to be able to know you one last time and hear your voice, But you refuse. I am to let go but never be able to say good bye the right way... But you wont so this will have to do. There are so many things Summer. So many things unsaid. So many things never done. So many dreams left unfulfilled. I wanted so bad to hold you and feel you in my arms, to dance with you and to be able to look in your eyes with mine, No glass wall no screen. To be able to walk hand in hand with you and be able to tell you I love you with out having to be so far away. I wanted to make you smile and bring you flowers and be able to see you blush and giggle and be able to rest my hands on your cheeks and feel the warmth. I wanted to show you what was inside of me. I wanted to prove to you how much I love you. So many things left not done. Another thing I really wish.. I wish I could have shown your family who and what I really am. The man you know I am and not the lies they where told. I am not a monster I know this. I thought I was. Hideous unwanted ugly and abandoned. You showed me that I was not and even tho you hide from me I know its not because of that. I am not the monster. I am just a person with a heart who fell in love with some one else. I did not choose it nor did you. It just happened, Our hearts touched and we made a connection. I know you where young and you still are in many ways. The things I ask you are not ready for. Its not fair to either of us. I wish they could see that. I know I say I dont care what people think of me and that I could not care less  if they don't like me but honestly that was a lie. I do care. I care because they have been taking care of some one I care about very much I wanted to prove to them I was not what they where told. I wanted to thank them for giving you life and making you so wonderful. I wanted them to know how I have always been there for you when you cried and how I always told you how beautiful and amazing you are. I wanted them to see you happy and know that every day I try my very best to make you that way. I am not the monster in this story. They pulled you away from me to try and make sure you where safe but honestly.. I dont blame them, I just wish that if they had an issue they would take the time to know me because they don't realize them and I are on the same side. I wonder what they would say if they new all the little things I know. All the times I saved you and you saved me. I wonder if they ever thought about why you have that tattoo on your wrist and if they figured it out that it is about those darkest days how we would sit there and your demons would try and bring you down and we would fight them together. You and me, we survived together. I know your not going to forget me, or those days. The things we got through. I know when you look at that tattoo you will think of the wolf who was there in the shadows helping you find your way through the dark. I am proud of you baby, I really am. I am proud of us and the things we got through. I do not care what any one else says.. it was worth it even if this story has to come to a close we made it in the end. You are stronger then you know and you are right you don't need me any more. Please be proud of your past. Please learn from it and realize you are stronger now. And when you are old and grey and you look down at those scars that have faded and the mark on your skin remember at on point in your life that you where loved, even if I am dead and gone you have been loved unconditionally fully and wholly. I could never hate you, I could never not want you. I will never slam that door shut. Even if you are sitting there and trying to rip pages out of the book of your life I will never do that to mine. I am happy when I think back to the five years we have spent as best friends and the 2  years we spent as more. I will read back and think of you. The beautiful amazing girl with the blue eyes who showed me how to let my anger go. I will never forget the little fox who would not run even when every one else wanted to or those who wanted me in a cage. You came to me and curled up in my fur, This black blood stained wolf and showed   him he was a good and pure silver underneath. How could I ever let go of all those happy memories.  But this is now and you you want to let go, you want to stop hurting for me. Today I write this is at midnight of our 2 year, The same day it all started.. some thing poetic in that and tragic thought. Knowing I am there is making this hard for you. I am not trying to breath down your neck I am not trying to hurt you. I am simply wanting to destroy the last scrap of what ever it is that is left. You know just as well as I that even if I stop fallowing and I will still be there. The wolf, in the shadows and maybe more importantly the man who had a place in your heart. You will always have a place in mine Summer and if you still want to have a place in my life I will always be here. I am sorry I make you hurt but there are so many things I wish I could say, like how the idea of all the things I gave you going in the trash makes me break down crying or how my life is changing for the better even with you gone or how it frightens me the idea of the rest of my life with out the one who called me her soul mate. So many things still.. But know this.. I do love you baby, forever and for always some where in the dreams there is a little fox and a wolf with a scar on one eye playing and loving each other. I am not trying to fight, I have done as you ask and done my best not to msg you. I am not trying to fight for you I am simply enduring being with out you, this feeling of being only half. I put the things up online because they make me happy when I remember you. I am not fighting, I am simply enduring. It hurts not to speak, to be silent but I do it for you. Because I love you. Because it is what you ask. I will always love you and care about you. So be proud and be strong and if you ever need me I will be there.

Your wolf forever
Daniel

This heart of mine knows what it wants

This heart of mine knows what it craves

This heart of mine knows what makes it strong

This heart of mine knows what makes it beat

This heart of mine knows who it belongs to

This heart of mine knows what's true

This heart of mine knows I belong to you

That feeling
when you don't know
what your feeling

Crashing against you
like waves in your soul
icey black water hitting you hard

The sting makes you feel
So alive wanting to do some thing
and the sting telling you your almost dead

What is this feeling
do I turn my back and flee
or endure and push on

This dark wave gives nothing
only drowning hope
slowly breaking a will to fight

And some where in the distance
the whimper almost drowned out by the storm
"Keep fighting. Don't give up."

The waves knocking me down
again it batters my senses and bowls me over
in the darkness I am blind

But the voice calls "Fight for me"
do I have the strength to face it
and I realize

I still got a little fight in me still

Note to self: no one loves you

Sometimes
I see something
That reminds me of you
A memory of your blue eyes
Invading my mind
And I look back at my path
The one we walk
And I smile remembering you
Not as a stray thought almost forgotten
Nor the broken heart of a bleeding sunset
But as a friend who once walked beside me
Long ago

Wonderfully evil
Amazingly wrong
Giving in to this thing
Accepting it's gift
Forbidden fruit
Sweet to the lips
The fire of hell
Burning in the heart
This fire forging this
Steel cage on my heart
This gift of strength
At what cost
My soul
Broken and shattered
I give it in exchange for
The salvation
This is my path
At the edge of forever
My forbidden fruit
I accept

Had time to think. I'm taking my life back. I had enough being used. I have had enough simply taking what I'm given. I'm done having people come in to my life take what they can and run off. From now on I am looking out for my self. I am going to be happy. And people can get with that program or get the **** out.

Once upon a time, in a land of shadows. There was a wolf born to a cave. His heart was good and pure. His eyes burned blue and bright. His name was Ranger. But Ranger did not choose his pack. His family. He was born to a Mother and Father wolf who had very little, the land of shadows had not been kind to them. For he would have had five brothers and sisters. But sadly all but the oldest was slain. Cut down before there time.

So as this young silver wolf was playing in the shadows and looking for things to fill his day his parents where teaching him to fight. Training his hard for the life he would endure. The woods where no place for a kind hearten wolf. Day after day they pushed him to be harder. His fangs growing sharper with every passing day. His other siblings struck down. When he asked why. All he was ever told was this is the way of the world son, You fight to live or you roll over and die.

Long did this time pass and he had grown to be a beast. I hardened scared wolf, fur black with blood stains. He was a monster like no other. Merciless he hunted alone, Never needed any one or any thing. He felt only rage and contempt at the world. For all the pain in him. All the hate he had felt. He was a wolf with a heart of stone

One day well travailing in the darkest part of the woods he would hear crying, whimpering in pain. Slowly keeping to the shadows he would see a young fox. Her body cough up in thorns. Slipping closer he investigated. He turned to the shadows and thought about simple walking away. But that cry that whimper, he turned back to see her. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Her eyes big and blue sparkled helplessly in the shadows. Slowly he stepped closer, and dug in to the vines of thorns and freed the little fox and expecting her to run away in horror. How did you end up here he would ask her and to his surprise he she told him she was hiding from her family that had hurt her so bad. So laying down in the soft earth he wrapped her in his tail and gently licked her wounds.

When day came he found her again in the place she was last night, softly wagging her tail waiting for him. Fallowing him she would smile and hide under him and playfully jump on his back. Then as the sun rose she would scamper off to the field where she was from and every night she would find him. This powerful and deadly wolf.

Day by day and night by night she warmed his stone heart. Made it burn so bright and pure. His black blood stained fur became a bright silver as he stopped fighting. His deep red eyes burned blue. His heart had been saved and his soul little bit by little bit became hers.

Years past and there nights became routine but never dull. He would smile seeing her and would hold her so close. As the years went by he would notice she was no longer a little pup. She was an adult now. Sly and stong and fast. But her family knew of him. The stink of this wolf was all over her. They raced in to the woods finding him they ripped in to him. They dragged her away from him  as she cried out I Love Him. But they did not care. They knew wolves where not to be trusted and even tho his fur was silver, purged over the years of his cruel ways. The smell of blood lingered on him. Harder and harder they attacked him until she ran off. Under cover of moon light. Her eyes dripping with tears. Her heart heavy in sorrow. How could she watch as the family she loved worked hard to destroy the one who stood with her and kept her safe.

She ran and ran and ran. And even tho she is gone she can still hear him at nights howling at the moon. Howling for the love he lost and the pain he had felt. For he loved her as well and no matter how far away they are they will never forget those dark places that where there home.

I love you