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crazier and stranger than you was the fact that it

                                                               ­             never

                                                               ­            opened

                                                         ­                      up
the whaddayacallit
I trove towards

death

and

make
      myself
               *lighter.
TIME takes your immaturity and turns
it into personality---

HAHAthroughthelessons

you have yet to learn and

HAHAtothegrudge

you have decided to grasp
(o u wish u never met me

HAHAtothehurtustillintendtocause)

it's like you never grew up and that
melting phrase of soft Iluvyous
meant nothing but the truth is that
you meant everything you ever said
and you still do. I believe you now like
I believed you then and like all things,
things change, change is the only constant,
and you didn't love me once, you still love
me now. and you didn't hate me once, you
still
hate me now. the only way to shake the
feeling is to DIveE LIKE AN AIRPLANE
head-first into that space called *death.
you do not fall out of love

I am not a cancer / / / we are both just shattered beauty on the steps of God's fuckalls

and you're so vain, you probably think this poem's about you.
tag
dark fading lag oh you piece
of halftrash computer hashtag
dreamy gift wearing nothing
under the tunic, and why
would he? seeing the selfish
crash of sullen sleepless pivo
ting throughout your face like
a mantra
~A Moment of Happiness​~
It started out as an ordinary day,
Any ordinary day in one’s life.
We had probably been out the night before,
This memory escapes me now.
We woke to coffee and cigarettes
As we usually did.

You were on the Gucci site
Showing me the style of suit you had wanted.
We decided to hit Gucci on 5th Avenue.
Parenthetically, if you remember,
I wore sweats and a T-shirt, and you,
You wore your father’s old suit which kept it’s wear.
Here we were, walking toward Gucci,
Debating on whether I should visit Iceland on holiday.

Outside the store,
We were one of the anonymous,
But inside, we stepped into another world,
One of the rich, on 5th Avenue in New York City
Where price tags do not exist.
I remember the elevator ride and our conversation.
Stepping out to be greeted by a salesperson,
Whom I ordered around and kept on his toes due to his thirst for a sale.

A vision of you,
Standing there in the suit chalked up by the tailor.
I handed you a wine glass filled with Pelligrino,
To wash down the Xanax forced into your mouth.
When all was done, we were outside again,
Amongst the anonymous.

Later that night, we sat at the Whiskey Bar celebrating our day.
I remember hearing glimpses of U2’s “Beautiful Day”
In the background and thinking how appropriate.
I thought this was the beginning of happiness,
And there would always be more.
It was happiness, the moment.
All our feelings, yours and mine, all mixed up.
The madness of it all.
You see I wanted to give you it all, the world if possible.
To make you happy, in every viable platform.
I know now you didn’t feel the same.
Left with everything unsaid and undone between us.

Having that one day with you was my moment of happiness.
You have given all you had to offer for me.
For us.
I am here and you are there,
A huge distance between us.
Know, even though we have not spoken,
I am here,
For the conversation, the friendship, the silence.
Remember always what I said to you before I fled to England,
The night we walked the promenade;
Love doesn’t end just because we don’t see one another.
No matter how you look at it,
It’s only Love after all.
 Oct 2013 raðljóst
Raj Arumugam
Mum, says little Sara

Yes, darling, says Mum

Let's not sleep tonight.

Why, sweetheart?

Cos, mom, have you never thought about it?
the world might disappear when we sleep
and when we wake
it may never come back;
so let's watch over the world tonight
as everybody else sleeps

O no, Sara, it won't;
the world will still be there

No, mom, have you never thought about it?
Like a cloud, mom,
if you don't watch it
it will move
and sometimes change and disappear...
and so let's not sleep, for the world may
be different when we wake...

OK, sweetheart, sleep...
Mom will watch over for you.

But you must sleep...
cos if you don't sleep tonight
and I sleep
I might wake up in a different world,
so please, you must sleep when I sleep

OK, sweetheart, Mom will sleep...

But mum, we should not sleep...
have you not thought about it?
OK, while we sleep
the world might move around
and re-arrange itself
so people in China might wake up in America
and India will wake up in Iceland
and Mexico might be a city in France
and so mum, let's not sleep tonight
or everything might move round
and you and I might wake up on the moon

No, darling I'll tell the stars and the sun
and the moon and the land and the oceans
to stay still while we sleep
while darling Sara sleeps
Sara?
Sara?
Oh, you're already asleep..
Good night, darling...
it’s spring world growing into something different iceland volcano ash interrupting european flights dream of new worlds better life happiness new architecture language love everyone wants something different god’s eyes see through gazillion eyes each center of universe why do i cry so easy flinch at sight of blood violence what is love happiness sunday morning volcanic ash persists we are all inter-connected sweet little freezing cold iceland dominates world life is crazy too crazy where is bjork this morning drinking grog coffee laughing i’m so different from you unaccountable chemistry go away it’s hot i’m sweating stink i wish for your smell so bad jasmine basil lavender female scent ticket home to nowhere we are all such liars over-reactionary sensationalists well on my way yes i choose horse with wings house-boat floating up river mountain top glass conservatory filled with plants clouds girlfriend i wish for way back wiser choices more content result
I haven't eaten in two days

I think it has something to do with
feeling as fragile as your translucent body
(It's as frigid as one of these ten thousand lakes in December
and makes my heart spasm as I walk through you)
 Oct 2013 raðljóst
Chris Ott
to the icelandic girl asleep
on my couch

i find you beautiful and
fascinating in a way i've
never found a american
girl. i find myself lacking
words, to speak to you or
to write about it. enigmatic,
it seems.

and it seems i'm far too
american for your tastes
it's written all over my ego
and fears, prescriptions and
words. you can tell. i can tell
i am of no romantic interest to
you.

but your smile?
makes frozen glaciers
forcefully crash
down
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