Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
It's time to really look at myself
Look deep into my eyes
Look at the pain I've caused
And heal
Even if it sends me somewhere dark
Even if I'm scared
I have to right my wrongs
And fix myself
Before I can move forward
From all that I have lost
I am taking a break from many things, I have to spend some time fixing things that have been broken.
Standing sacred amongst the dead,
A mausoleum built, protected,
It watched and witnessed the years as they passed,
It remained silent against life so vast,
A vigil reminder that the dead can be kings,
The wealth of many don’t think of such things,
Remembered in death as they were in life,
This fixture wept beyond their mortal sight.
Of broken hearts and dreamy fog,
The Mausoleum held inside, a bog.
-
I witnessed it upon the path I walked,
The dead-end, so to speak, it frightfully stalked,
It almost glowed a neutral grey sheen,
Aghast, I looked past with thoughts of being,
I emptied a heartache upon a pillar,
It reached to me and my hand now withered,
It called my name once in the silence,
The voice so hollow, in hallowed solace.
While this garden with dead did proliferate,
I opened what was once the tomb’s inner gate,
I stepped inside not knowing what came
Next for me in life’s theatrical game,
Surprised to see it held a catacomb,
I walked its halls in vain, entombed,
Cephalic attacks of thoughts herein,
Requested presence of answers therein,
Creatures and demons alarming inside,
We take the most identifying and hide,
We look to find we are the same,
In life, in presence, in thought, in vain.
-
I saw the bodies that rested yet here,
They seemed so at peace to sleep for years,
One cadaver at the end of a hall,
Seemed to beckon to me and warned of fall,
The steps leading down, treacherous at best,
I looked at it more as if it were test,
Test of strength, a test of will,
But my insanity would not keep me still,
Hidden between his skeletal palms,
Was a page ripped out of Bible, the psalms,
His favourite, I imagined, but it shook my spine,
Because he appeared so clandestine,
So surreptitious, the look upon his face,
He hid no remorse for passed mistakes
His teeth decayed like his mind did in life,
His bones festered and caused him great strife,
Were it not for the pedestal that held him up,
I wouldn’t have seen aside him a cup,
A cup full of sanguineous red,
The shuffles on the floor from where others fled,
I took his cup and drank from it well,
The taste of old blood, congealed, from Hell.
I then could not have had foretell,
That this would put me in a dreamlike cell,
I stumbled on the floor and rocked,
My thoughts of reality were then so blocked,
I couldn’t hold concept of anything,
I fell asleep and awoke in a dream.
-
The Nightmares, transgressions of the dead that lay
In this catacomb, suffered a fray,
A war between families large and askew,
The swords of fathers to sons imbued,
They bred them with hate and raised them with blood,
They fought their battles as sons best could,
One of them had their internals leave
Their stomach, and organs were bereaved,
Because of a ”friend” that with a knife,
Decided against his opposing strife,
He feigned a hug and with his fist,
Wrenched his weapon and did persist,
To tear his friend apart, depraved,
He cut out his heart and his father gave,
His son his burial rites,
The other family far from contrite,
Desecrated this mausoleum,
The battlefield turned to Coliseum,
The young fighting old and not knowing why,
The women and girls lost much and cried,
Their men would not have any of their words,
Ironic to not hear pleading songs of birds,
The families lost while being forewarned,
Both now lie entombed, both thought of as scourge,
The mischievous gaze the skeleton gave,
I now understood, I thought I was insane,
Even in Hell, he battles them still,
I learned not to let idiotic persistence cloud my will.
 Apr 2013 raðljóst
Evynne
Sometimes people get
Inside of my head and
I can't get them out
They write beautiful things
Inside of my head and
I fall in love with them
 Apr 2013 raðljóst
Evynne
Undertow
 Apr 2013 raðljóst
Evynne
Yeah there's an undertow, but it ain't got me



It's kinda like
When you get really, really mad
I mean you're mad
And then something happens
Like a song or a certain cast of light
And you realize the reason you were mad is nothing like the reason red blood cells carry oxygen to your brain
Or the reason you love pineapple
It's nothing like the roots of the tree outside your window
And you feel pretty stupid
You scold yourself
"Stupid, silly human being"
Then you forget what you had just learned when you looked at that tree or took a deep breath
You're thinking about other things
You're thinking about what you're going to do with the time you've got before bed
Or what that rude girl at school said to you

And then it's kinda like
When you get really, really sad
I mean you're sad
And then you receive a much needed compliment from someone
And you think about how **** well you've actually got it
It's so unlike that sadness
It's just like those red blood cells and that tree outside your window
And here you are feeling silly and ignorant once more
You're thinking about all that time you wasted
But there are loved ones in your living room and a blanket on your bed
It's okay, right?



And then
Then it's kinda like blasting music in the car
It's kinda like being made to laugh during a miserable school day
It's like your favorite road to drive
Or your favorite pen to write with
It's like the rattling in your speakers
Or your brown eyes
It's like opening bottles with your teeth
Having plans for the night
Getting away with things you shouldn't have done in the first place
It's kinda like listening to your music too loud
Or brushing your teeth
It's like accidentally falling asleep
I don't know
It's kinda like that
I think
Yeah
 Apr 2013 raðljóst
Evynne
The world has become a little too mean for my liking
Everything has
Even the water in my shower
I stand there
And wait for the water to feel hot enough
It never does
Okay, I'll fight with you tonight
I turn the **** to the left
It's supposed to be hot
But I don't feel it
It's cold when it touches my body
Regardless of the steam escaping from over the top of the curtain
Alright, I'll turn it more to the left
**** ****
I let the water run for a little bit
Hitting my chest
Hoping to feel the heat
Nothing
This bothers me
I turn the **** all the way to the left and I give up
Why does the water have to be so stubborn?
And why can't the **** go more to the left?
It takes me a while to get over this
So I stand under the water
Blocking the mean, sadistic world out
Recklessly trying to find some peace of mind
Found it
And that's when the water got hot
Finally
I take a deep breath and let the oxygen-deprived air fill my lungs
Doesn't do much
But it feels good
This makes me close my eyes
I'm not here
I am on the street
Trying to use the sound of the water to block out the words I hear others saying
I don't like the words
They're not right
The others
They talk about so much
They judge so much
And here I am
Screaming and crying and feeling in my distinctive thoughts
Trying not to go crazy
I don't care what the color of his skin is
I don't care where she bought her clothes
I don't care about how much money they have
I don't care
I just want to look at them and admire them for being alive and being a person
You know
We could all use a little compassion and empathy in our lives
Wake up people
I took a shower
I can't be clean
But I can't get good and ***** either
 Apr 2013 raðljóst
Evynne
Dancing from "The Moon" smelling
So sweet
Escaping from the fragile stick
In the little brown box beside me
Lingering on my skin and in my hair
I take a deep breath

I am so calm

Rising up from the rim of my mug
A tea bag floating
The taste is warm on my lips
Curling around my face and nose
Bidding good morning
I take a deep breath

I am at ease

Quietly sneaking up and away
From the black wicks
Thieves of the air
Bright below them
Faces illuminated
Disappearing into nothing
Unnoticed
I take a deep breath

I am blissful

Mixing together their smells
With so much ease
So much grace
Running together
Forming unspoken alliances
Locked with chains made of air

Dancing and Rising and Sneaking
Above my head
Until they disappear all together
And I am alone
Once more
 Apr 2013 raðljóst
Evynne
Look at me!
I am an emotional bag of ****
I don't ever want to be without you
You came to me so suddenly
But I feel like I have loved you forever
 Apr 2013 raðljóst
Evynne
It's temporary
That fleeting feeling of warmth

The longing for more than what the body wants
And what the body wants more than anything
 Apr 2013 raðljóst
Evynne
Can you feel all the suffering, can you see it?
Stop embracing the hate of your own humanity, just quit it
Why all the hypocrisy?
Challenge your democracy

Aim for enlightenment
Fight against all ill torment
Oppression, alienation, inequality
The government's manipulative utilities

Explore your human aptitude
Your mind and your magnitude
Because passion is power and
You can make all evil cower

Work to open your third eye
Don't cry or comply, but rather ask "why?"
Empathy and compassion are most important
Without them, moral principles remain impotent

Our world is nothing compared to the entire universe
We are so small, egoistic, and it's getting worse
Focused on all of the wrongs ideals
Creating terrible and false ordeals

Our world is cruel and mean
Too many people die hungry
There's no such thing as equality or true justice
It does not exist in this realm of consciousness

If only we could shift the system and our ways
Then things would continue to fall into place
But change is virtually unachievable
Especially when entities with just intents are inconceivable

Human beings are clueless, trapped in a trance
Don't let yourself fall victim to your ignorance
You need to expand your knowledge and your perspective
Aim to be more pensive and introspective

Challenge absolutely everything you are told
Form your own beliefs, don't let your mind be controlled
Remove yourself from conformity and complacency
And you'll realize a multitude of problems, that I guarantee

You can't trust anything

Hear what I'm saying 

No you cant trust anything

Believing is damaging

Creating is everything, it's promising
Stop adhering to societal norms

Why do you conform

To all that

The government tells us

All that society spells for us
Why don't you realize

Wake up from all the lies

The world is an intricate place, that you can't replace

But you can change your ways and your pace

Create some displacement in the system
Stand up your rights

And what you believe in

Be genuine

Imagine

Not one person, thing, or system

Can tell us, control us, conform us


With enough minds open and motivated
We can help those oppressed and alienated
We can change this race for the better
Let's all work to be that kind of trendsetter
Come on, let's start a movement
So we can see some real improvement
In our world, our ways, and our wisdom
But most importantly in the system
Next page