i’ve spent the last
six months of my life
dying to die
with no results.
and in that time i’ve
been walking
on a sidewalk that
is crooked and cracked
into some godforsaken
place. through my journeys
i’ve come to rely
on two certainties:
that i will go to bed
unsatisfied and hungry.

and every night is
a rainy one and cats eat
the fur and bones of dogs dead
in the flooded gutters. the grey
monoliths of the city
are always a step away, but
i don’t get any closer.

and if i could give back
all the cigarette ash and whiskey
i’ve drank i’d do it because
i’d be losing blank meaningless
memories, or at least
they mean nothing to me. i can’t
say the same about
those people in the memories.

and i passed the corner
where i sat drunk on the brick
with my friend, smoking
a cigarette and i remember
telling him that it was
going to be alright. i don’t
know if i was lying or if
i didn’t know the truth
but he left.

and i walked by the home
of my first love and the windows
were dark and the cars were
gone from the driveway.

and i found myself in front
of the house of the girl
i loved who didn’t love me
and the air was black, save
for the glare of a lighter through
the rain and i remembered
a dream i had.

Let them be their own, oh God of Mercy,
Let all the babies sleep well at night,
Bring mornings blessings, no more testing,
And let all the people stay home to be free.

Stop all the bombing, and all the killing,
How much of the blood now flows free?
Burn all the guns, melt down all the bullets,
And let these people have back what they see.

Once landing on shorelines, invading the cities,
The menace brings all of it's own ideology,
Who tells me what hand, of which bread I'm feeding,
And pushes me downward to stand on my knees?

If we work the fields, and we toll and die plenty,
Is it not a God given right to remain free?
Who takes from my table, is more than able,
To threaten the air that I long to breathe, see?

No more will we linger, till gone are the sinners,
Who threaten my family and my children, be free,
We'll send them a running, with faith we come gunning,
Till all of our homeland stands proudly and free.

Not violence we're wanting, just living and loving,
We long for the day when the worries so flee,
So put on us pressure, no more can be leisure,
Until all the country is finally free.