For a minute there was hope
as my eyes brushed yours
as I looked for a free seat in a packed cafe
and I saw
next to you
a chair
and I saw
your smile
warm and familiar
like an old, tattered book
and I saw
your mug
half-filled, half-empty
and as I moved towards you
someone else sat in the chair next to you
she was bright and shiny like plastic
and she put her hand on yours
and I saw
your smile
slip away
as I did
looking for another cafe

ive never been enough
even in my mind,
i fight to win the rival that
never ends.
the only things that bring me comfort
are Doctor Who and Lord of the Rings,
mhm... yes i miss you and that smile
of yours dear god, it is like heaven.
but, you see, ill never be enough
ive always known that.
neither the doctor nor the hobbit will
come to save me.

i hate being so dispensable
i feel so bad for my friends and my family,
they have to deal with me all the time
but i guess when im gone
everybody will grab a glass of wine.

cheers, shes finally dead.
(i say this all the time in my head!)

oh dear, dont be sad,
be glad,
shes dead and the
demons are gone from her
blasted head.

(can i make the same end-rhyme twice?)

When you reached into my body,
Tearing my heart and soul away,
Standing, holding these in your hands,
You screamed like a banshee in the night.

Left with just a body so violated,
Leaning on the wall, just about to collapse,
You hit my head against the wall with joy,
Down, down I fell in a pile of  a mess.

About to kick this wounded love soldier,
Just when the smile faded, faded away,
I looked deep into your cavernous eyes,
Hoping, hoping for some glimpse of humanity.

It wasn't enough, my life was so freely  given,
It wasn't just that I so wanted you so desperately,
It wasn't that I,  an inexperience lover was calling,
It wasn't that love has skipped me somehow by,
It was that I genuinely craved your sweet body,
Just wanting to kiss you and hold you next to me.

Now, as you scanned me lying, so slowly dying,
The look of your disgust and distain revealed,
I now inside my chaotic mind so racing, racing,
Knew that this will be my lost, lover's lament.

when i met you, it was easy
we were young
love
what is that?
neither of us knew, but
we taught each other
and now we know

do we know?

four years together
would make it seem like
we do know what love is
after all, i love you
i loved you
do i still love you?

i think i loved you
four years ago
four months ago
four weeks ago
four days ago

but you see,
i met him
three days ago
and now i am not sure.
and
now you want me again
but only because
he wants me too

four days ago,
those three words
probably would have been enough

but four days ago
you were on my mind before i went to sleep

and now you're not