don't fall in love
you'll taste the bitterness first
rise in love
and know no limits
falling in love
might hurt less
but rising in love
has the better view

i'm afraid of love
as any kid would be
love is built on trust and promises
i can't say i love you
even to the empty walls of my room
words are arrows
and i'm not ready for mine to
penetrate the heart of
someone who will fall from it
my love can not be blown away by the wind
nor will it sink like an unmovable boulder that lands in the water with a Shamu sized splash
my love is delicate
something to hold in the palm of your hand
don't crush it
when i find you
convincing me to love you
will be more than just a game
show me i can trust you
show me unbreakable promises
and maybe i will show you
what my love looks like

when they look at you with a smirk on their face
slap it off

my heart is full yet empty
teeming with love for places i’ve never seen and
people i’ve never met
wanderlust, they call it
an intense desire to see the world
one day
i'm going to get out of this small town
get in my car
and drive and drive
and drive until i reach
the end of every sentence I left unspoken
I'm going to see the places that would be
if I had said what I felt in the first place
I'm going to see the parts of you that you kept hidden for so long
I'm going to see what will be
when I finally listen to my instinct
maybe my heart will stop hurting and my brain will finally shut up
and let me enjoy the ride
because i have a feeling it will be a fast one
and something i won't ever forget

Holden Caulfield
A boy
Not yet a man
Stuck in the middle
Of two worlds
Ambivalence
Holden Caulfield
Calls up Sunny
The depressing
*******
Holden is nothing
But a boy
Not yet a man
Still stuck in the middle
Of two worlds
His virginity
Remains intact
Holden Caulfield
Thinks you’re a phony
A fake
Not who you really are
Old Stradlater
Old Ackley
Old Sally
Old Holden
Is a phony
Holden Caulfield
Isn’t who he really is
either

because i needed to write something though i had no idea how i was going to say it so i just started writing
and i am unsure of what ink will be spilled here and i apologise in advance if a picture comes out of it that is
too much for you to handle
sometimes poison bleeds out of my veins instead of blood
and it's a wonder that i've survived so long with blood so toxic
yet i found a way to live without living
the other day
my friend asked me if i was afraid of ghosts
i said i wasn't because ghosts are just spirits that are looking for a body to inhabit
i told her this and
she looked at me like i was deranged or on drugs
she then asked me if i was okay
//no//
my lips said yes
and my mind screeched no!
so she walked away thinking i really was okay
leaving me with thoughts that would strangle me to the ground
i hate thinking
and being alone
that's when the monsters come out and play
like this monster that apparated from her "are you afraid of ghosts" question
spawned the most evil creatures of thought
and i can't fight it
no i am not afraid of ghosts because
i am just a spirit looking for the body that once sheltered my existence

beautiful girls do not know they are beautiful
they are told they are beautiful in phrases of objectification
a little girl will grow up thinking she has to give her beauty away to society
to the boys who want her to be a certain way
to her parents who want her to be opposite of what the boys want
to the other girls who want what she has, thinking her beauty is something of a secret
no one will tell her that her beauty is her own to keep for herself, to share with others when she wants
no one will tell her that she doesn't owe anybody anything
so she'll give it away

a little girl will grow up thinking she has to be worth something
that her value won't ever be enough
that she has to weigh this amount, wear these clothes, glop on that much makeup so her real face becomes paper thin underneath the mask of plaster she'll try to pass off as her real face, her real smile
she'll starve herself, she'll gorge herself, she'll look in the mirror with such disgust,
hating every flaw that was once unnoticeable to her untrained eyes
her eyes will become hawks hunting for prey of impurities
her body will become a battlefield
and there's a chance she might lose

girls grow up
thinking they are in debt
some girls grow up
knowing they don't owe anyone
anything
but most girls grow up
without knowing how beautiful they truly are