I am caught up
amidst a drama.

Your father is arguing with your mother,
the noise is penetrating from beyond
the locked doors,
while I am standing outside your door
witnessing your surprised reaction.

A glass shatters and you shut your door
and ask me to come with you.
We ride on my bicycle to the lonely field
behind the school.

My heart beats louder than ever before,
so loud you can probably hear it.
You are trying to explain the situation at home,
the noise and the apologies,
while I am biting my lips,
trying to tell you why
I drove you out your home
at ten in the night.

You stop and laugh,
and tell me that your best friend
broke away from you
and you tag him--
that *******--
and I swallow nervously.

You suddenly rant of how
he always says the wrong things,
was always a bad friend,
and did the worst.

You tell me of how your parents
are so sickening
you are thinking of running away.

You
look
at me
and tell me that you are
sick
and
tired.

Between the lines of fear and blame,
on a very cold winter night
in the deserted field
you and I are caught amidst a drama.

A drama yet to unfold.

A sweat beads on my forehead--
I have something to say.

Your father is no longer mine's business partner,
my mother hates the dressing style of yours
and
I am in love with your best friend.

I cannot tell you that,
because this is not the time for a drama
to set ablaze the floors of our minds--
we will need it tomorrow.

We've got our math test.

I'm not sure if it was a drunken idea,
or one of ecstatic stupidity,
but finally, from indirect jokes
we took to the alley,
greasy and haunting in itself,
we crossed the deathly narrow lane
to the tattoo place.

Neon-lit and consumed in the atmosphere
of alcohol and some illegal drug somewhere,
we picked out the incomplete chain--
one for you and one for me--
so that when our bodies came together,
we completed each other.

We completed each other.

You got yours and I got mine.

And now a year later,
you have had yours removed,
and are now thinking why you got one in the first place.

But you never knew, did you?

I didn't just love you,
I loved you for who you were,
for all you were,
for all you had been.

I wasn't just a stupid girl,
filled with the butterflies of first loves.
I was in love with you.
Fallen, completely.

You left your scars.
You left your scars.

You would never know, now would you?

That while you were looking away,
I got mine
in permanent ink.

**We completed each other.
Now
I can barely complete myself.

The rain drips on your forehead,
much like the ways it falls on the others.
Yet on you they feel like the burn of an acid,
and warm like your tears.

The slurs are now muffled
behind the door
you decided to shut forever.
While they still bang on them,
don't let them in.

Somewhere along those hasty corridors,
somewhere in those strings of angry words
you found
the strength to light the brightest fire.

Your words are now
the ones
piercing their hearts.

You make us stay strong.

Your eyes.
Your voice,
and most of all,
you in your green blazer
with your hair swept to a side
and a shy smile.

No,
not your smile.

No, not now.

Your smile not now.
Because you are smiling now
with your peaceful eyes
in your sharp green blazer
to the girl sitting across the hall
while I
am walking out the **** door.

The clocks tick down from hours to seconds
leaving me at the end of a lonely road
where you and I stand at different ends
of the paths we used to tread on together.

Always out of time, aren't I?

Running.
Breathless.

I don't even have the time to put on my
**** shoes.

I am rushing down the corridors,
I don't have the key to the car,
I'm still trying to put on my shirt
and I am trying to do it all at once.

Rushing.
Out of breath.
Tears now falling.

Too late, always, aren't I?

Like a thunderstrike straight to the chest,
I get news--
far too late for the girl far too late--
you are somewhere on a bridge
waiting to take a leap of faith.

Lost in seconds pouring away
like rain on the sill.

Lungs ablaze.

Six blocks down to the river.
Distances counting themselves
from inches to naught.

A splash in the river.

Always too late.
Always too late.

Lost you.
**Too.

If the skies would break out tonight,
you will see the fury--
silver white streaks across the prussian blue,
that every once in a while,
the night too,
shall give in.

The rain rips through my turpentine roof,
splitting the cold raindrops on my forehead,
while somewhere across the city,
two lovers meet under the canopy
of a shared umbrella.

They will eventually get out of the rain
that brought them together
and reach across the surfaces
for hands in the darkness.

And get into a car,
drive away,
forgetting everything else.

Lightning strikes,
thunder roars.

They get scared,
the driver flinches
the car screeches
and I lose the only one I have.

The car swivels,
hits the one on the road before,
a flash of light
and into the one forever.

Headlight.
Heaven.

They will drive away
from the rain that brought them together,
while I will still stand there
in the rain that took away
the love of a forgotten man.