Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
329 · Mar 2015
Missing
Rai Mar 2015
A missing piece
That's how I'm feeling
Like I'm missing you
And the tears just fall uncontrollably
I find it hard to breathe
Silent in my own darkness
And you on the other side of knowing
If I you walked passed me you probably wouldn't give me a second glance and I cant say id recognise you with the lines of years gone by
But know this
You told  me of how they all loved you and I stayed silent
We laughed and joked and you never knew
And you held my heart and I stayed silent
Your friendship ment more
Your betrayal
Your ****** words in rhythm
And still I loved you
That was the moment I knew
I would love you
But to expect more was just a figment of illusion
All is well
But in these dusty corridors I still here you whistling your tune
And I miss you more
I just miss you more than I should
327 · Nov 2010
playing with words
Rai Nov 2010
Not caring                            Taking the                     **Cracks

is much                                      Time to                              appear

easier                                           Keep                                   so

don’t you                                    It real                                  real

think                                            is something                     they

                                                        else                                       hurt
                                                      
                                                        I believe
Rai Feb 2015
The silence sometimes finds me searching for you
The breathlessness of a forgotten night
You held your sanity within that darkness
I was afraid
I felt your fear
I felt your hatred
You pulled me under
I loved every cell in your messed up world
And you turned away
You left
You betrayed the nothingness
Of an irrelevant friendship
Good to say
I learnt my lesson
There was no one quite like you
I let you in
You broke me
But it wasn't reality
So as the darkness settled
There was no where else to go than up and out
So thanks
I guess I understand more about the situation than you first believed
But it made for some amazing poetry
I do miss that
I just needed to get this off my chest .. I'm happy now all is good in my world and I hope for you the same
317 · Aug 2015
Surely
Rai Aug 2015
Meaningless words fall
Hurtful silences
Unspoken desires
The light fades
And then we are nothing more than a memory
Surely this isn't really what we call love?
305 · Aug 2021
Restless
Rai Aug 2021
I wish the darkness would smother me in sleep for this restless night has taken me prisoner for it’s own.
299 · May 2016
Tell
Rai May 2016
Tell me the truth
If I had opened up and told you how I felt
If I had worn my heart on my sleeve so it was obvious
Would it have made a difference ?
298 · Aug 2014
Simple
Rai Aug 2014
You walked within  
Disembodied my soul  
Then left me whole
298 · Aug 2015
Because
Rai Aug 2015
The answer is yes yes yes
Yes I do

The question is so much more complex than this

On a subtle level I'm at peace
On a physical level I'm
What the hell
But just because I can
I will
297 · Oct 2015
Close
Rai Oct 2015
Move closer
Slowly
Tracing the sweat from your brow with my fingertip
Inching down your face , along your neckline,
Coming to lay on your shoulder blade
Your shirt all crisp Cotten and smelling of sweet cologne
I will raise my eyes to connect deeper for longer
Moving slowly
Keeping eyes pinned
Lips tremble
I want to devour your mouth
Gently closer now
Feel my warm breath upon your skin
Our lips meet
There may be no return from this moment
As my body sways to your own unique tune
295 · Aug 2021
Moment
Rai Aug 2021
A memory like a flash back
Like prisms dancing on pavements
Like clouds floating freely
Like that moment when you felt lost and this was the only place to come to rid yourself of the lonesomeness you felt within you
A feeling of belonging
But also of shattering glass and sand flowing through your fingers
Time is often not your friend
The words said on the wrong moment
The feelings you never understood
And I thank life that I have moved past the emptiness and have learnt to be happy in this existence.
I thank life for the moments when memories come knocking
Reminding you that you are enough
You are
And so that is enough for now.
293 · Jul 2023
Just this ……
Rai Jul 2023
Why bother ….
Why …..
      …….

So if your always the one to start a conversation
And if you don’t
They don’t
So I guess that means they don’t want to talk to you
So best leave it
Just don’t bother
Because always being the one
Is a little exhausting
And if they don’t want to talk to you
Why would you make them
So you sit all alone
Wondering ……
Wondering why …..
wondering why bother …..
……… just this …….
291 · Apr 2023
Hide, climb or fly maybe
Rai Apr 2023
Maybe we could make a fought out of blankets and chairs
And just hid awhile from the madness that lies all about us

Maybe we could just
climb to the very top of an old English Elm
And believe for a moment that we
could fly

Just for a moment
Maybe

287 · Mar 2014
Writing on the wall
Rai Mar 2014
Go figure
The writing on the wall is so clear
But still you fail to hear the warnings
That swirl around that confused mind of yours

Newspaper print simple
You left your mind behind whilst
Contemplating your next agenda

Should of been easy to understand
It was there right in front of you
Open your eyes ******

Blood stains
The imaginary beasts that roll behind those glass eyes
Satin no longer stained with marks of love
Skin torn from your back has healed

The bruise inside your heart it festers still
Admit to yourself
Then release and forgive

You beg
Please don't let this be real
The shapes and hues are too bright and sharp to understand
Crumble to the ground
But at least you cant fall further

Further is where demons hide
Ready and waiting
A place of no return

Look closer at the writing on the wall
look in the mirror its written in biro across your forehead
Newspaper print in black and white
Says don't be afraid of the night
Its yourself you need to be afraid of
fear  self
287 · Oct 2015
Turn
Rai Oct 2015
You kick the dust
Turn and leave
And I really want to scream don't go
But I don't
Because that just wouldn't be the right thing to do
And because it really is ok
286 · Dec 2015
Last night
Rai Dec 2015
Last night I dreamed that I could fly
Above all the ******* lies and fury
To a place of no return
The air smells sweeter
As summer breeze lingers on winters frozen glade
Hollow and lost
Surrounded by lights so bright
Holding on fast to moments
Written in journals of destiny so long forgotten
You hold me up
Then gently lower me
I am no longer falling
I am rising
Flying
Lying in grasses that sway in sweet smelling meadows
Remember me in your world of chaos
It is time now
Time to close the curtains on this show I call life
Think of me often
Feel me close
And know with all my heart I'm thankful
For you all
You touched my weary heart
Everyone last one of you
For Jane X
282 · Oct 2015
Double
Rai Oct 2015
Tonight I thought I'd try sleeping in the middle of the bed
Somehow I think it's about time
The void
That forbidden space
As though it's waiting for someone to crawl in
An invitation
Warm arms holding on
So no it's gone
Covered by my right leg
I give up
I really can't be bothered anymore
280 · Oct 2015
You
Rai Oct 2015
You
You should of loved me
Like a crazed hungry wolve loves the night.
You should of held me
Like a mother holds her child
Protecting and nurturing in her light.
You could of shown me
The murmurings of your heart,
But instead you shot me down
With the deadliest of darts.
Thought provoking
Loneliness is an ownership,
I have learnt it is of my own creation.
Something past reasoning hauntingly
Reminds me I need to be more.
Yet my silence becomes muffled by the din
Of my beating heart.
275 · Oct 2015
Touch
Rai Oct 2015
I think your hands and my shoulders would make a perfect connection
I'd be the sleeping partner in this obviously
But the payback will be paid in due course
I'd also like to wrap my toes around your fingers
But that's another story
We all need connection, skin on skin, heart on heart, soul on soul
272 · Oct 2015
I love...
Rai Oct 2015
I love how I let you closer
I love how you pull me open at the seams
I love how you trace my journey
You see my colours
but still come back for more
I love how you never give up on me
I love that your eyes twinkle when you look into me
I love how I'm sitting here tearing myself apart
thinking I've done something wrong
Something that made you turn away
I love how I can read through the old stuff
We really were quite close
I love that life brings good memories
Hell I'm going to catch a few more before I'm through
I love and that's all there is to it
Funny how I find that I'm still all alone
Not depressed  , well I am a little maybe,but it's only the antibiotics running round my system .  Just want to  have a hAppy healthy day tomorrow. :-)
269 · May 2021
Butterfly thoughts
Rai May 2021
To land briefly upon the moment we call forever
To hover timelessly
Waiting in anticipation for more and yet knowing it is not to come
To sleep with shadows hovering
This much and more we will injure before we are able to escape our own sweet madness.
To land briefly is what we humans do upon this earth
Make your mark and leave it a better world for having been apart of its journey through space and time .
267 · Nov 2018
Vol
Rai Nov 2018
Vol
The pain is so real that even a frayed heart couldn’t break this *******
Clasped tight
My chest squeezes out the remaining air that settles beneath
A somewhat elusive reminder that there’s nothing more left to say
No room to breath again
No space to stretch my wings
And yet in silent moments my yearning
Can be heard
Rumbling to the surface like a volcanic eruption
Angry and docile
Waiting and ready
Unexpected and yet
In these moments I feel closer to you than I ever did
To look past the mirrored reflection
Erected to protect me
Not from you but from my expectations of me being with you
Though it wasn’t hard to see we could never climb the same mountain and still be on the same page
We weren’t sculptured from the same beginnings so understanding was seldom real
Empathy is only sweet when real
Sympathy only lives a short life for those who are tarnished with regret and heart strings no longer are strummed by the gentle hand of the lover who has lost their love
In moments like this I dive into the dark ocean that is my soul
It’s quiet and soothing
If not a little lonely at times
And yet
When I curl into self
I almost feel non existent
The smoothing lull of nothingness
267 · Aug 2016
Finding silence
Rai Aug 2016
On the verge of contentment
And the towers are falling once more
Everyone around me is crazy
And I cling to myself for comfort
But how can I survive
When everything meaningful floats aimlessly
Whirling upwards
Then crashing heavily
Against walls of our own making
Your dreams will come to haunt as well as comfort
I gave up looking for love
Leaving it to fools on verges who love to dispair in the arms of strangers
Who will only tare them apart and devour their souls
But love lies in the blanket of your grandchilds smiles
Love lies restless on the breathes of siblings who need to connect
As you do also and its pulling and suffocating but all so comforting all at the same time
In the eyes of my mother who has fallen head first into oblivion pleaded to me
My mother now the child and the adult that am I
And the question is why do I care so ****** much
I feel as though she is my child that needs wrapping in swadling
Unable to fend or survive alone
This pain and the distance from here to there pulls me apart
Rendering me hopelessly out of control
Anxiety racks my nerves leaving my appetite gone and my fears ablaze
There may be no happy ending here
But there will be a silence
A silence so complete

A silence so serene
266 · Feb 2017
A knowing heart
Rai Feb 2017
I'm not sure why my heart fluttered
At the sight of your tex
I'm not sure why my pulse got faster
This love affair was over such a long time ago
I guess my hearts knows more secrets
Than my head is willing to share
I can't be going there
Rai Nov 2018
When your positivity runs low
But your the person
Everyone else runs too
So no one ever expects you to break

That .....

When tears don’t stop falling
And  you’ve told yourself your not sure you can go on doing what is expected of you
But you feel as though your failing and so can’t give in

That ......

When you just need to talk it out
But they say if you have a problem
Do something about it
Go see a doctor
But your so scared of giving in
Don’t they realise how hard it was to speak out in the first place

That.....

When life feels so raw
you just want to hide Somwhere quiet
When your bones are broken
But so is your mind
When the pain just doesn’t stop
And your work load is crushing

That ......

This is the least bit positive I’ve ever felt
In my life
This is raw
This is hell
This is nasty

The only positive ......
Everything is temporary .....
And so too shall this pass .....

This ............
Feeling more sorry for myself than I can even explain .... that
263 · Oct 2015
Gone
Rai Oct 2015
Creeping quietly around crowded rooms
Looking to catch your eye
But your missing from this place
It really leaves me with no reason to hang around
Sometimes you just miss a certain person, it doesn't mean so much it just is as it is ...
262 · May 2013
Life
Rai May 2013
Letting myself truely live
Was the greatist gift I ever gave to myself
261 · Aug 2014
Hear me
Rai Aug 2014
Notice me  
I'm screaming inside my head
Cant you hear?
258 · Dec 2015
Day 1 .. Feeling this way
Rai Dec 2015
When all you can do is light a candle and pray
255 · Oct 2018
Present Time
Rai Oct 2018
Loosing myself was a necessity
The journey back to self
That was a choice all of my own
255 · Oct 2015
Pieces of you and me
Rai Oct 2015
I found broken pieces of you all over the place as I crawled my way through my day today
The smashed lamp on the living room floor
You were thinking of the women down the road
The one who reminded you of your mother
All Red silk blouse an large chest
All Cotten candy sweetness in daylight
Cruel sadistic witch when curtains were closed tight
The fragmented remains of a China cup
All birds and butterflies are now fluttering at the bottom of the trash can
Hell doth have no fury like a women scorned
And so be it
The mirror cracked
Your reflection too painful a desire to behold
The scar across your face another reminder
Of yet another painful year
But what hurt the most was my Guitar
No longer singing in my hands
Strings pulled tight
Like your lips as you were screaming your revenge
You said this time it was my fault
I'd looked at you the wrong way
I reminded you of someone who had deserted you
What am I ment to say now
Well hell thank you
For taking your pain and moulding it to fit me in too?
I couldn't find you in all the chaos
Silence
In silence I will now retire
If you want to play hide an seek its your turn to hunt
If you don't find me then I may have got lost
Between the birds,butterflies,smashed China and your mothers Red silk blouse.
252 · Jul 2023
Pulled apart
Rai Jul 2023
I’m grateful for this time to rest when my body , mind and spirit don’t want to work together.
Maybe they are taking a break
My body has broken from my mind , my mind from my spirit and in turn my spirit from my body .
All there is to be done is to lay down the day and submit defeat.
Hopefully tomorrow they will be rejoicing , grateful for each other once more.
250 · Oct 2015
Simple
Rai Oct 2015
Fountains of flowing energy
Let me place my hands upon you
Breathe in , breathe out
Clear your mind
Breathe in, breathe out
250 · Aug 2014
I
Rai Aug 2014
I
I love
The way you smile at yourself in the mirror
When you think no one is looking
242 · Oct 2015
Untitled
Rai Oct 2015
Chest
Tightening
Breathlessness
238 · Oct 2015
Miss
Rai Oct 2015
I don't miss the lover in you
But I do miss the friend I found
Whilst loving you
I found I was broken
Something I don't even notice when I'm alone
237 · Nov 2018
Soul seasons
Rai Nov 2018
Autumn leaves have laid their blanket
Upon the quiet ground
Winter beckons for sleep to come
Under the surface life is frozen in
Contemplation of a new cycle of life
As you surrender your past
Like the trees surrender last years growth
As you lay bare all your woes
As the leaves lye silently crisp waiting for someone to come and kick them high or crunch them beneath their feet
The workings of your soul are forgiving
The cold of winter holds you tight as
Your heart strings sleep and heal
For soon after the ideas in your mind eye and the stirrings in your heart
Like life waiting to spring through the ground in spring
So will you be reborn of yourself
Ever knowing
Ever remembering
Ever loving the earth you step on with silent steps
You are
I am
We are all
And we are everything that is beautiful
We are the cycle of nature imbodied within time and space
And once more in the full of summer
We shall shine
234 · Jan 5
Upon a moment
Rai Jan 5
Flicking through pages of a long forgotten memory
And there you are
Waiting
Waiting to be remembered
Brought back to life
If only for a moment
Those days of summer
Linger upon a dreamscape so real
Almost touchable
Fragrances of heaven linger for a while
Even when I can no longer see your face
Your soul sings me sweet lullaby’s
Such a love
Such a love
Is life …..
232 · May 2023
Breaking bones
Rai May 2023
’We broke  the bones of each others words and savoured on its marrow’
(Joel M Frye - talking of the old hp)
These are not my words but those of a man in passing.
I just wandered along the corridors of his soul scribbled on walls that no longer feel his presence but will forever hold the man, a poet , a friend , a blessing.
Your words can never die
They are written in stars so bright
And oceans as deep as the darkness you were left to fight .  
May you find beauty in death
May you find peace
God dam it
May you find heaven.

Oh but for those melancholy days
Where within our poetic playground we found connections like none other .
It was beautiful
It was more
It was so much more
So thank you for your part
In a time that was a blessing to us all .
May you rest
May you journey onwards discovering all that is to come

To sweetness you go
I can feel this.
Joel M Frye - I shed a few tears today , I’ll light a candle and wish you well on your journey .
231 · Oct 2015
Internalize (10W
Rai Oct 2015
Shaking hands
Fragmented mind
Curling up in a ball
Safety
225 · Apr 2023
I See You
Rai Apr 2023
I see  You
I see you

Please don't stand too close
The devil has broken free from the shackles of his cage and is threatening
To take from me anyone that comes near


Stepping back quietly with grace would be your best option
But even then I can't promise your get out of this in one whole piece


Fragmented pieces falling
You crumble at my feet

If only you'd listened

The devil within
The Angel within
He fell
In darkness as in the light
As in day
As in night


Shh place your finger to your lips
Silence breeds contempt you say
But I say it just serves to keep you safe


In shadows we find ourselves
As sunrise appears
We thank god we have survived
218 · Jun 2023
End of the line …
Rai Jun 2023
I sat on the fence.
The end of the line.
Loving every inch of your soul.
From the distance you waved.
And for a fraction of a moment
I really thought you saw me.
An eternity passed before me the first time our eyes met
Yet still
You’re over there longing for something that will never be me.
You don’t know me
You don’t feel me
You don’t see me at all.
I watched as all your moments crumbled.
I cried when your heart was broken.
I begged god and his angels when I saw you falling crash landing into oblivion.  
But I do not dream of you on warm summer nights.
In fact I don’t ever dream at all anymore.
Dreams are for those who wander aimlessly through corridors and walk through doors that hold hope on the other side .
On the other side of my door I find angels and demons playing poker at my expense and I catch you from the corner of my mind laughing.
I choose to leave you there knowing my soul will burn for less than this.
213 · Apr 2019
Hear me
Rai Apr 2019
If I scream loud enough inside my head will you hear me?
My mind screamed to my soul
My soul never answered
It was standing on the sidelines
Waiting to see if I realised there was no need to scream when we are one and the same
Living in the same body
Unable for now to excape
But one day
One day we will fly for sure
213 · Jul 2023
Reach
Rai Jul 2023
The trees were stretched tall reaching for a sky that they could never touch .
Holding onto memories
Footsteps along pathways through deep forests
What lurks within your darkened mind I wonder ?
May I hid within your brokenness
Until the Phoenix in me surrenders to the fire that lies at the base of my being?
May I curl myself around you in the darkness of the night whilst my soul sleeps , my heart yearns and my body unwinds ?
It feels so warm here
I love that you just accept all my flaws and only see the beauty within.
I love the darkness and the night that holds us together
Two lost souls floating in a sea of wonders waiting to be found.
212 · Oct 2015
I could be
Rai Oct 2015
I could be the best mistake you've ever made
             Of course
Then again
I could be the worst decision you chose to ignore
204 · Jun 2023
Friendship in tatters
Rai Jun 2023
You drink to forget
The mistakes that you’ve made
You lie to your friends
So easily nowadays
I’m not here to save you
Your like a vulnerable child
But back to those vices
I watch as you cave in
So chiselled and calm
Like there’s no care in the world
That can’t be put right at the end of a bottle
I hate I can’t help you
I love you you know
But off to your vices your readily go
A friendship in tatters
You beg me to not let go
But your making it difficult
Hell don’t you know
Seeing you all tattered and torn at the edges
You don’t love yourself and get into all kinds of messes
I wish we could jump back to when life was more mellow
Gardens and sunshine and fires and music
The love of connection
I’m worried we’ll loose it
You drag round or carry a sheep saved from slaughter
But back she must go as soon as gets older
Your court case is looming
You hurt that beautiful man
Was breaking him apart part of your plan
You tell him you love other people or had flings with your friends and where did you think this would end
I sit and cry tears
I’m not sure what to do
You just don’t listen
You will always do you
And I love you whatever but a distance prevails
You lied to me I don’t take that well
A friendship in tatters
Or a lesson on love unconditional and true
But right now I find it hard to be around you ..
Sometimes friendships are hard especially when they span over the years and come crumbling
187 · Apr 2023
Cocooned
Rai Apr 2023
Please forgive me
As the world beckons
I fall into silence
Into the safety of my cocoon
I lay sleeping
Reinventing myself
DNA is mutating
Into
Something more beautiful
Or so my soul tells me
Colours will be my armour
Hues will befriend the darkness in me
And then
And only then
Will I be ready for my soul to fly
Fly like it has never before

Oh how in my slumber
I yearn for the colour
Of tomorrow
185 · Jul 2023
Fall free
Rai Jul 2023
Raindrops fall free from the sky like the tears of gods and giants that have long past.
Grieving for a world they would no longer recognise.
May we muster up some emotion or lie deep in gutters created from our own misdeeds.
Bring no man down around your feet,
Your pain is of your own creation and so it shall be.
Tell me ten things today that your grateful for instead of your woes of the world that bore you and took care of you.
No man should be your fool to play like a puppeteer pulling strings.
You think of every next move,
Control is lacking,
So you tighten the strings.
Consequences are the turn side.
You will fall from the skies,
Thrown out of heaven by the very gods that weep for your world.
Your actions speak so loudly that I am deafened.
I will not be,
I can not be,
Your puppet,
Your saviour .
I lye looking into a blue sky
One I created of my own desires.
Gods and giants smile
They know I know.
They leave their home to come sit in meadows.
Together we will have the power to cut the strings.
Puppeteer you will loose your power and your puppets will be left to heal.
Raindrops my friend
Are a message that you must heed.
184 · May 2023
Luna
Rai May 2023
_Moon madness
Energies harnessed
Like a wild beast
Yearning
Anxiety rising
Thoughts ever running
In spaghetti hoop roundabouts
My feelings are reeling
Nature is screaming
Inside my head
Wild winds are blowing
Sunrise is slowing its embrace of the day
Captured still in sunsets that have gone astray
Chaos silenced
Silhouetted heart shaped nothings
And I beat my drum
Trying to find my way through
The dark woods of night loom too close
The full moon pulls , shifts , enlightens and helps me let go of my ego
What is left
Will drift freely
A bride to the ocean
A servant to the air
Harnessed by fire
May the earth below my feet consume all that is not needed here.
As Luna sits quietly, most powerfully above us
Let us remember
Just how insignificant
We are here
Nature runs riot
And we scream for help
Nature screams loud
We have nowhere to run
We are not listening
But we will be made to to feel
Without any doubt _

182 · Apr 2019
Indifference
Rai Apr 2019
I never needed you
But I wanted to be needed
There’s a difference
179 · Dec 2018
Me
Rai Dec 2018
Me
It took a broken body to make me realise
I love myself unconditionally
I love all the broken corners
The dark edges where no body else is allowed to tread
I love the way it rebuilds itself
Bridging together fragments
And I love the way I am
Able to have the strength through the pain to heal
Next page