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Rai Feb 2020
I miss you
I miss us
I miss myself
The me that is me when I’m with you
I miss those moments
And the moments between moments
Shared moments
Quiet moments
Even the loud angry moments
Because they were still moments with you
I just miss
The moments
Rai Jan 2020
And so came the time
She had feared the most
Quite rooms
Empty spaces
Change comes and goes with ease
But bites at the loneliness
And the void becomes so vast
All your nightmares
All your insecurities come rushing
And fall from your face
Cascading in the most beautiful of hues
Upon cheekbones so exquisitely defined by life itself
Children’s heartbeats which kept you away from this place
Hidden from mind
Now monsters of love , regret and the past come hungrily feasting upon your vulnerability
And all you can do
Is allow it
Let it flow
And prey that you will win the battle laid bare before you
Rai Nov 2019
I don’t know this place anymore
The faces aren’t  here
The souls don’t linger just a moment
Conversations are void from the blank frameless canvas on my screen

JP caught the last train out
I was told he waved a silent goodbye
To the nobodies standing on the station

Eileen and Chris with their beautiful words
Fell apart and drifted away from us all
The winds of change taking them to the most remote places.
Eileen is dancing with the pixies and making wishes on stars
Chris not so

Gabrielle beautiful girl
Head so strong and wiser than her years
Has her head in a book or a family to raise or a degree in wisdom for all of her days

Paddy
Now paddy can be found down by the stream
Anyone who knew him
Will know what I mean
The fishes are high and the summer is long
But from this place your spirit has gone

Bathsheda
She ran
(And I mean ran real fast)
To the hills
where she runs free
Screaming obscenities
At anyone who might pass
A doff of the hat
A piece of that cake
A moment of connection
Make no mistake
A women of word
Who won’t take your fooling
But for that chocolate cake she would be drooling

Lily oh lily
Oh lily my love
I think you were sent from heaven above
You warm my heart still
But your not of this place
And it’s never here I glimpse your face

Gonzo
My friend
With a smile that hides the reality of a man
Your darkness I love
Your sorrow I weep
But away from here
The burden was too steep

Richard
Now what can I say
You just got up
Left the front door open with no poetic note to say good bye
We yearned
We missed
We adapted
Then we all left
The glue had gone

Helen
Let’s open a bottle and drown all our tears
Well we could
But your not even here
To old friends # midnight mumbling
Rai Nov 2019
That numb place
Where your comfortably happy
Single equals freedom after all
Free from restraints put on you by another
Free from being judged not good enough
Free to be just who you want to be
But this god dam free place
Gets lonely at times
How do you shout that out to the world
How do you fill voids
The ones you used to fill with crumbs of affection
But affection it was
Even if
Unreal and un-lasting
And the wheel of fortune says bid your time
And your horoscope this month looks promising
But hell  girl your just run back to your safe place
The one where freedom abides and heartbreak has never mended
Your heart is scared from all the daggers that have been plunged within
This numb place is becoming less numb
The drug called freedom you realise can never be as intoxicating as that first look
That first kiss
Yet you look around
And there’s no one
No one you want to connect with on a deeper level
So you look deeper into self
You reflect
You tear yourself apart
Bit by bit by bit by bit
And then some more
Bit by bit by bit by bit
Rai Aug 2019
Wise is the man who draws his gun fastest
Wiser still is the man that walks away slowly giving himself another day
Wisdom is born from the toil of hardship
From the knowing within your soul
You know that initiative retch in your gut that this is the truth
The right or the wrong of it
Wisdom comes when we stop and listen to our own truths
And stop blaming those that we feel are obstacles in our path
For they just may be the one sent in this life to hold us up when we fall
Or sometimes
We use them to reflect ourselves onto
It’s all in the journey my friend
So raise your face upwards
And taste the true essence of all that is you
Rai Aug 2019
It’s long past midnight
The wind howls around the feet of trees
that stand tall, but bend awkwardly
Into positions they were never fashioned  to reach
the rain starts slowly but increasingly patters like small footprints upon my window pane.
Smoothing and unnerving all rolled into one strange moment of sleeplessness
Insomnia beckons for company
I gave in what can I say I’ll sleep through breakfast now so no harm done
And anyhow I am my own master
So do as I please
And now I wandered here
If your listening I’ll never know
I don’t care for strange relationships across blank screens anymore
I don’t slow my breathing down to accommodate yours
I don’t talk for hours
Delving deep yet dusted with a surface shallowness I could never recognise before
Eyes open
Heart closed
That’s the way to survive I guess
Rai May 2019
I was crawling out of a hole as deep and dark as the sentiment in your eyes
A meaningful moment of surrender beckoned
But I found myself
Crawling backwards it seems

Fingertips touching the glasses rim
and then my lips
Cherry blossom comes to mind

Remembrance comes and goes

Take the broken crayons
I don't care if they still colour the same
They are broken god dam you
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