It is a contradictory paradox.
It is a conflicting oxymoron.
The half of my reasoning thinking that
you want to be mine,
the other half of my sanity thinking that
you just want to be of use or at least to be using me.

It is not easy,
for both me and you to be in unison
and all the reasons are in the state of plateau.

Maybe I am taking too much caffeine and nicotine,
Maybe I am lacking too many hours of sleep,
Maybe I am lacking of you?

But there is one thing I am very sure
and that is,
I did fall for your treacherous smile, again.
I did fall for your deceptive but cute expressions, again
and again.

I never knew that pain is this addictive
and your ignorance is my drug, forever.

It was 2.36am in the morning and
the thought of you came suffocating
my mind.

It was 6.36am in the morning and
a text from you came by,
it was simple and sweet.

It was truly unexpected,
it was absolutely unplanned,
to meet you again,
to see your smile again.
It was something to die for,
at least of my existence.

Hearing you laughter,
listening to your cherry-blossom stories
brought back the colors of my life
as it was plain and dull these past few months.

It was truly unexpected,
it was absolutely unplanned,
to fall for you again;
even after everything
even after the 'day'.

You bleed me with your smile,
tantalizing my soul to a new level;
immortality.

You hurt me with your words,
mending up my broken heart;
absurdity.

To be honest,
I dont even know why,
am I deluding myself to this insanity?

I dont know why,
yet I want to know
everything about you,
except the answer.

It is too complicated,
the complexity of me and you
to exist as a whole,
it is less than a possibility.

For us to be together,
for infinity.

It is fine,
I will just wake myself up everyday,
hoping for you to miss me,
hoping for your love to warm my cold world,
frozen by the deep chill of misery and agony.

I am pretty sure
I am in no place to tell you this,
nor I even have the right to ask you this,

To love me like you love your Korean celebrities,
To miss me like you miss your beautiful yet ignorant cat,
To snuggle me like you snuggle those sweatshirt of yours,

Yes,
I pretty **** sure,
I am no one in your life.

Is this what they called;
So close yet so far?

I was a fool, once.
A lovely one,
a romantic fool.

I thought that
I was her world,
only world,
of all pieces of the broken soul she was.
but sadly enough, I wasn't.

Wise men says;
only fools rush in,
yes, I admit that.

But you can't make the same mistake twice,
the second mistake
is not an err,
it is a choice.

To err is human,
to forgive, divine.

I rather live by
"To improve is to change;
to be perfect is to change often."

Yesterday was something.
It was the day where i felt like
if i were reborn, into
something new,
something different,
something more beautiful
than ever.

Yesterday was something,
everything was beautiful
and nothing hurt.

Yesterday was something,
you were as radiant as the sun,
striking out the ray of love, nonchalantly.

Yesterday was something,
you and me,
we crossed the lines, we shouldn't cross.

It wasn't supposed to happen,
at the first place,
to love,
to fall,
to create,
memories, hopes
& dreams.

Out of all things in this world,
you revived me
to be me
again,

This time, a better me.

It is now 1:06am and
i couldn't sleep.

As cliche as this might be,
It's you who i keep on thinking.

How your pretty smile shapes up  so perfectly,
How your exciting laughter fills up the universe so beautifully,
It is hard for me to keep up with your pace at this rate, you know.

They said wishful thinking is a vengeance and i am both a wisher and a thinker.

I wish I was that caramel frappe you held,
I wish it's was my heart that you held so carefully, effortlessly.

I once told you that you're a masterpiece and indeed, you surely are.

I wonder if you think that you're cute as hell when you questioned things, when you asked me those numerical parts of the world.

I wonder if you think you're sweet as hell when you look puzzled trying to solve the maze, when you pleaded for help in deciphering the mystery.

I wonder if you think you will fall for me and i bet that you don't.

Now tell me how do i love you when i dont know how to start? For it's never a right thing to fall and it will never be.

So I'll just let these feelings fade away, away into the darkness.