living in places with no real faces
nothing but the pavement and similar races
houses cloud the judgment and create such a facade
that no one man can see straight at what glares obviously
at how this town really is

living in places with picket fences and fake smiles
nothing but the pavement and the smell of lawns waning
houses cloud what really lies underneath all these people
that they are all broken china dolls

living in places that are pieced together by the backbone
nothing but pavement and sweat trying to impress
houses cloud opinions making them constantly redress
tired of redressing i live with a plan to strive away from this place.

my eyes are full of girls dumbing themselves down and begging to be mistreated by boys who will break their fragile little hearts

14. The boys would gladly break those fragile hearts for 10 minutes of skin on skin in the backseat of a car

13. Im not one of those girls

12. Im not one of those boys either

11. I value a beautiful mind over a beautiful body and thats just not how things work around here

10. i like to write poems, drink tea, watch movies, and listen to rock

9. the problem with that is thinking differently gets you shunned and mocked

8. and the amount of skin you show directly correlates to how much you are worth

7. i like to wear jeans

6. So what am I?

5.  Im more than a thousand compliments, false promises, skin, and hands

4. I like my thoughts and the outfits I wear and the half understood jokes that I make

3. I don't want to beg for someone who is intimidated by a smart girl

2. and I definitely don't want to be just "hot"

1. so I won't

If I were a glass jar
I would overflow with a shyness
Such a shyness that stunts my growth
Blocking the sun never letting me blossom
From the tiny seed I am,
Into a large oak tree that towers over the shyness
Like a cockroach never dying always dismaying
I will always remain the tiny seed inside that glass jar
Until the seed dehydrates into death
And the jar shatters

She walks on water as if land wasn't enough
Sometimes she stops breathing due to oxygen being afraid
Afraid of the natural breathtaking beauty that is hers
Something so rare and sought out for by every girl
She possesses in every step that can make any boy
Want to become her knight in shining armour
But all she wanted was a boy who never changed
Never altered themselves for her
What she wanted was for someone to simply be real
To be everything they are even if it doesn't compare to her
This curse never came undone
And she lived life a beauty with no one.

The entirety of my short life has been dedicated to finding
A way to save the wicked from falling
Trying to save a life within a statement
A statement that can spur imagination in the most vacant
More importantly one that can take your sinning,
Narrow soul and broaden its boundaries to new beginnings
Opening the gates of learning the soul of others and their company of good faith in which you both live to share.
I search for something that I have already seen
The answer lies inside of every human being
This answer is not spoken but is in reaction
To each others infrastructural abstractions

In front of me always lies a patch of black ice
And whenever I take the chance and step forward
I end up sliding backwards
Even further then where I started

Adapting everlastingly I stopped going forward
However even when I stood still it seemed I go back
Everyone would look at me and say why so afraid
Why so shy why so lazy why why and why
That's when I realized that I had never stopped going forward
That in doing nothing I really ran further then before
And now I have slipped on that familiar feeling ice
When I look at the ice all I see is the monster that holds me down
And when I look at my reflection in the ice
I stare and let myself become trapped in the ice, in the monster
The only way to go forward
Is to break the ice, the monster; myself
The only thing that blocks me from being free is me

Insecurity is wool blanket drenched in water
laying across my nose and mouth,
every breath i take in is a wicked reminder of everything i am not.
its sharp needle points prodding my pores
ripping apart the skin of my throat with every word i'm unable to speak.
Insecurity is facing a firing squad,
every bullet comes from the mouth, every tongue a trigger, every tooth ammunition
Your feet are nailed to the ground, an iron staple of your own making lacing through your toes.
The worst thing about it is that your hands are bulletproof shields,
and if you had the strength to raise your thousand pound arms,
you could use them to block your bruised up brain.
But you can't.
So you don't.
its being uncomfortable in your own skin, a bone shattering, helpless feeling that you
cannot change this.
no amount of compliments or beautiful words whispered in the darkness can fix it
insecurity is the building blocks of my personality,
I'm constantly tailoring everyone in my life to fit it, like a worn dress
I can't walk down the hallway, down the street, through a store
without the feeling of a thousand weighty words cutting into my skin
In every war my mind wages against my body
i stand there like marble, letting the bullets eat me alive.