Sometimes I feel,
Like I'm being crushed,
By the weight of my mind
I get stuck in episodes.
A mixture of almost,
Crying, vomiting, falling,
But doing nothing.
And gasping for air.
And wanting to lay down.
For days.
Wasting away.
Living life to the halfway.
And feeling bad,
In comparison life is good.
But I'm drowning.

We are all broken toys
Living in a twisted plastic world
Looking for love
With a toy less broken
Or broken in a different way.
Looking at frayed strings
And faded fabric
And hoping to make something new
And wearing down with overuse
And abuse.
And oiling joints
That creak from age.
Toys to be played with
But handle with care
Not plastic
But porcelain

Come.
Join me.
Love me.
Sink into the depths.
With dripping hair and
Curves that entice.
Perfectly designed to be,
A man's paradise.
Singing haunting songs of
Lonely sailors past and
And the  daughters of the ocean
That sang from the water
And drove men mad.

A pounding heart
And hands that never sweat.
Backstage.
Waiting.
Smile Baby!
Sweet, sultry,
Whatever they want.
Posture, posture.
A loud voice that never shakes.
How flexible are your morals?
How badly do you want this?
Enough to sweat?
Enough to bleed?
Feel the emotions.
Deep breath.
You're next.

A soft protest.
Followed by a sweet smile and
a shy glance away.
A fluttering heart.
Heated skin.
Quivering flesh.
A murmured "Thank you"
A sweeter compliment.
A reprieve.
Not "hot"
Not "****"
Pretty.

Waking up is the hardest part.
Each morning an alarm.
A signal.
Another day.
Snooze.
Wait.
I'm not ready.
But nothing waits.
NOTHING WAITS.
So with will, I get up.
Another morning.
Another day.
Step by step.
Breath by breath.  
Because
Waking up was the hardest part

Let me be your Muse.
I will be your inspiration.
I will ****** you into creativity.
I will give you everything.
And give you nothing.
I will lure you to your doom.
Lust after your insanity.
Revel in your demise.
Come pet.
Relinquish your soul.
I will reside in your mind.
Whisper with your tongue.
Breathe with your lungs.
And you will die brilliant.
Let me be your Muse.