In the midst of self-loathing
Comes an Epiphany
Like the eye of a tornado
The brief moment of clarity
Is almost a relief,
That is until you realize
Just how messed up you are.
Trying to explain
Just why
You can't feel.
Why being a robot
"Feels" so good

I found myself craving a big picture.
So I stood back,
And as my mind swirled in turmoil,
I watched other people,
How they interact,
How they struggle,
But somehow managing to,
Appear at least,
Somewhat together.
I found nothing in the big picture,
Except,
More space to think.

Fragments of thought flutter,
Across the landscape of my mind.
Dancing along the borders of action.
Teasing the petals of want.
A frenzied cacophony of phrases crash,  
Against my peace of mind.
And draw me into a spiral of,  
Confusion and despair.