I don't believe in your god because
I don't believe in myself.
I don't believe in the forever "I love you"
and the book that tells us what
to do.
I believe in the little.
Birds chirping for the first time since winter
type of ****.
I believe in the listening to your favorite song
on repeat.
I believe in inconsistency,
but not in world religions.
I believe in weakness,
but not in your arguments and persuasions.
I believe in soul,
but not that it needs to be saved
to prove the goodness in my heart.
I believe in being unstable.
I don't believe in being
hypocritical.
I don't believe in believing,
because I don't need to.

Place my cheek
against your careful hand. Look me
in my anxious eyes. Look and see what
is inside. You can see
every strand of fear.
You can see
every hole in my heart.
I don't think you'll want to see
every broken piece.
But look.
Look and see.

My anxious eyes regret looking into your eyes
that feel like
a warm towel after getting out of the shower.

There is joy
and it is within a yellow flower,
inside an unopened letter,
inside his t-shirt on your floor. There
is something else I know.
There is sadness
and it is also inside an unopened letter,
shoved in-between two books.
It probably won't be opened.
Inside sadness there is anger,
inside anger there is despair,
inside despair there is regret.

You were almost as difficult to catch as a bright yellow leaf coming down through a beacon of sunlight.
A stranger.

i like the sound of my name leaving the tip of your tongue
your eyes are green like a bed of flowers i planted on my birthday
a birthday on a beautiful summer day
with a tint of blue
the sun peeking between the clouds
i like the way you talk about your future
our future
you're going to take care of me
you're going to make sure i'm okay
i'm going to take care of you
i'm going to do my best
because i know that love needs to be full of kept promises and the dreams we right down on a scratch of paper
just so we don't forget
i can't forget the way your voice sounds when you wake up
and i can't forget the way you smile
because you're a breath of fresh air
on a beautiful summer day

the earth crafted you so precisely. your skin is soft, cloudy, comforting. you are not just a road you are the whole city for a weekend getaway. you are home. you are not a hotel room. you are the light, not just a match. you are the entire garden. not a simple petal. you are the music in my ears. you are not just a song on the radio. it's terrifying to think that i am hypnotized with not just a small part of you, but all of your existence.