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4.5k · Jan 2012
The Homemade Manicure
Rae Hogan Jan 2012
New Year's Eve party.
With the popular kids.
That you don't know well.
But your boyfriend's going,
and you need to go too.
(for a New Year's kiss,
of course.)

Your favorite pair of jeans
because they are easy to dance in.
Your best floral tank top
because it's brand new
(and it's cold out, so you can
have an excuse to wear his jacket.)

Coral blush
because it looks good with
your skintone.
Purple eyeliner
because it makes your eyes pop.

And french manicure,
(your very first one!)
Done by your older sister,
aided with scotch tape
for the tips.
(It makes your hands look pretty,
and official,
like your best friends mom.)
3.5k · May 2013
Misery Street
Rae Hogan May 2013
I live on misery street
With misery homes
And misery rooms
And misery men
Making misery memories
With their misery mistresses
To forget their misery lives
And their misery jobs
With their misery bosses
And misery coworkers
Working to get their misery pay
So they can feed their misery kids
So they can focus at misery school
And get misery grades
So they can have misery lives of their own.
I live on misery street
Where misery isn't misery at all.
Misery is routine.
1000 · May 2013
I'm a UFO in this City
Rae Hogan May 2013
I'm a UFO in this city
Unidentifiably bright
A spark in this desert night
Setting me apart from this war
Of society.
925 · Jan 2014
Uncle Johnny's Garden
Rae Hogan Jan 2014
Do you remember that morning?
Do you remember the silk scarf of the breeze?
How it carried the remains of the fire?
I knelt in the chilled shade of the garden,
black soil memorizing the curve of my knees,
ashes tickling my cheeks
and burning the back of my mouth.
The pods felt like fleece in my hands,
so small when compared to the size of yours
as they cracked open a pod longer than my palm.
You explained to me how the peas,
perfect and small and round and nestled together
were just like you and I: two peas in a pod.
Do you remember how those same hands,
rougher than rope,
lifted me to sit of your shoulders?
They lifted me higher than the burnt ladders
in your shed ever could.
I clutched your shoulders,
just as burnt as your shed and shrieked.
My fingers twisted in your silk sand hair,
yours laced loosely around my skinny ankles.
You never carried me like that again,
you never again held my hands in yours,
you never came back home.

The shed's ashes danced on the wind
just as you danced out of my life.
Last memory of my uncle before he went off to who knows where.
503 · May 2013
The Battle
Rae Hogan May 2013
I surrender the  battle,
But dare not surrender the war.
I will not let go of my dreams.
I have borne too many
Bruises and run too far to
Give up. All I want is to
Feel the sun the way I want
To feel it and feel how I
Want to feel. Without your look
Of disdain burning deep in
My eyes, making me feel much
Smaller than I deserve to
Feel. I will fight the shame you
Give me. I will continue
To fight and I will win in
The end. This is my life.
Live your own.
A note to depression and anorexia.
476 · Jan 2012
I Am Sorry
Rae Hogan Jan 2012
I Am Sorry
For All The Poems
I Have Not Read.
I Think It Was
The Spacing.
Or Perhaps
The Title.
459 · Jan 2012
The Purgatory
Rae Hogan Jan 2012
and Death looked her
in the eyes,
what way will you go?
already knowing her answer.

the silent loud chaos
swirling in mind,
reminding her all the time.

make it stop
she whispered,
but Death just smiled.

i can't

she closed her eyes,
and Death dug it's graceful,
long fingers inside the
hole that was left.

please

she knew what was coming,
but gasped all the same.

*I Won't.
421 · Jan 2012
Silence and Noise
Rae Hogan Jan 2012
And all we knew
           was
that love does
                                         not echo
             .
        
                     .

                              .
but only a faint
       (and desperate
       and frail
       and vain
       and despairingly thin)

whisper
                                          
                                               into the loudest

                                                        ­ silence of all.
400 · Jan 2014
Writers' Block
Rae Hogan Jan 2014
The pen was an extension of her hand.
The line between skin
and dull plastic disappeared.
Words bled from the ballpoint,
her own blood poured out on the page
She filled page after page,
stanzas, epics, novels.
She ran out of paper.
She ran out of ink.
She ran out of words.
Her pen bled dry
and it would not breathe her words.
Instead, they were trapped in her head,
gathering dust with neglect, no way to connect.
in the thick of a block lately.
364 · Sep 2016
Airwaves
Rae Hogan Sep 2016
The airwaves live in the day.
What they whisper,
I cannot say,
but what I know
is that when they go
their message will live on in my head.

And what's in my head
should not be said
and when the night ends
all that will be found
is a life I could not fit my arms around.
this is the first thing i've written in a while. please be kind.
349 · Sep 2016
The Hills
Rae Hogan Sep 2016
There are hills here.
I'm driving over the hills here.
I hit 90 miles-per-hour here.

All that is,
is me and the road here.

On the other side of here is there.
There are no hills there.
I am home there.
I am at rest there.

But while I am here
I will always wonder
if I will ever get there.
wrote this because my history class is boring

— The End —