The shadow is always there
Whether physically
Or only in my mind
How to give love
To the one who still and always
Will love another.

Haunted by the love he had for her
Unsure of the love he has for me
The love of his life gone
Never to return
While I stand beside him
He being the love of my life
Wondering if a person can ever
Truly love again after loss.

Scared to always be second to a ghost
Do I stay or grieve the loss of the one I love
Tear drops fall from my eyes
Sorrow fills my heart
So much to risk and yet
There is love shared
Will time heal his wounds?
Or open mine…….

In my head,
You’re perfect.
You’re never wrong.
Never a bad decision,
Always where you belong.
But I chose to ignore the rumors,
Some which could be true.
I refuse to believe,
Anything bad about you.

All I know of you
is the love I had for you
when I fell into this dream.
You were beautiful,
the way the sky turns orange and pink
at the end of an exhausting day -
slowly revealing a sky of starlight
that has taken years on end to reach my sight.
There was a sudden pull -
whether I toward you or you toward me
I'm still not sure -
but I know it was there.

You were swaddled so tight
in a blanket that bowed to your beauty.
Warm, needy eyes peeked
from behind peachy little eyelids,
laying full trust in my hands.
Before I knew it,
you were gone.

They took my baby.
Her name
is a bittersweet taste in my mouth.
Their words are
branded on my face -
"Ma'am, please sit down.
You're not being rational."

"There is no baby."
There is no baby,
but I feel her.
I feel her like a twister
pulling me in,
but I've been put in restraints.  
Regardless of the ache in my bones
begging to be with her,
they've locked me up.

I am detached from reality.  
Everything is wrong.
No one can tell me where she is.
They act as if
my eyes are turning to goo
and sliding out of their sockets -
avoiding eye contact
in fear of sympathy rising in their souls.  
They stay on my trail,
dabbing away anxiety
as it seeps from my pores -
hoping I won't see or feel it.
I smell their fear
as I pace back and forth,
brainstorming my escape.

My dear Astrid,
where could she be?
I feel her tugging at my heart,
begging for a heroine.
Adrenaline is burning through me -
screaming at my body,
demanding I run for my baby
find my baby.

And my dream ended.
I've spent every day since then
looking for my baby.
I feel her in my heart.
Maybe she's real
and maybe I'm crazy -
either way,
I will never forget
my beautiful, stolen, and forgotten
daydream baby.

A blank canvas
waiting to be painted,
waiting to turn into
the ocean
with gentle waves
slicing deeply
into the slowly falling sunbeams.

It waits
to become
the jagged edge
of the highest mountain imagined by its evil creator.
Vicious trees budding
giving birth to more complex ideas,
that will soon be on their own.

It waits
to evolve
into a mama holding her baby in her arms
in the rocking chair
in the front room
with a look
as if she'll always remember,
always remember that tone
in her baby's bright blue eyes
that's whispering "comfort"

It waits
to morph
into something it wants to accept,
something it wants to be,
something it wants to love.
It waits
for its future.

I’m locking away all my metaphors
Packing up all these stupid similes.
My rhymes and I are
                          Out.

No doubt can bail me out
From this decision.
Blinded by illusions
Of sincerity
Happy hyperboles of fidelity
Reality
Rips my pages
To shreds.

My personifications are
Dead.
Like my underfed heart.
Part
of me
will remain
As lifeless as this page.

Don’t let my pentameters
Hold you back.
Let my lyrics liberate you.
Revel in this
                                drop
Our rhyme was only ever an end stop.

Here is your conclusion.
Your last allusion
True
Because
No matter what you do,

                                             No girl will ever again write poems for you.

I remember him old and sick
Never lively or free
Now I'm left wondering
If he ever smiled at me
I was only a child
When his life passed away
I can barely remember
The dreadful day
His life was a miracle
Only supposed to last a while
If only I could remember
The way he used to smile.
All the times I have forgotten
All the memory lost
I never thought that crying
Would ever help the cause
But crying is all I can do
For every memory's a blur
All that's left is the picture of
'Daddy's little girl'

Many good books around me.
Not knowing what to chose,
Should I chose this one,
Or this one,
Still deciding what I would like to read about...
I made up my mind.
I will take all of them!!

Here’s to my parents
Who taught me all they knew
Here’s to my friends
Who made me smile when I was blue
Here’s to my family
Who are always by my side
Here’s to all those people
That forgave me when I lied
Here’s to all the music
That I love so very much
Here’s to my teachers
That taught me rules and such
Here’s to the air
That I live and breath today
Here’s to my distant friends
So close, yet so very far away

So many loved ones
So many loved things
So much to live for
So much ahead of me
So many colours
So many pictures
So many memories
So much love…
So much hate…

Though I sometimes feel so alone
In the dark
In old memories
You have reminded me how untrue that is
And how many people are there for me
How many people love me
And I love you for it

You have made me smile
Made me laugh when I was down
You have made me happy
When all I could do is frown
You have made me rhyme
Even with no reason
You are my best friend
And I love you more than anyone

You are the crazy one
The awesome
And amazing one
You are the pretty one
No matter what you say
You are the one
Who has made me stay

You are the one who changed my life
Showed me so many new things
Even though our time has ended
Others are still beginning
Have a nice life
And I mean that
Always remember I love you
And if you change your mind
I’m here
Waiting
Forever

You are the one I can always go to
You’ll talk to me all night
You make me laugh
You make me cry
But whichever…
So long as we’re together

You are the one who isn’t real
Never has been, never will
You’re the one who’s seen it all
Done it all
You changed my life
Thank you

You are the one who’s on and off
Sometimes we’re friends,
Sometimes we’re not
Yet, whenever I come back around
You’re always there
Without a doubt

You’re the one who’s never forgotten
Though you may think you have been
You are the one who was friendly to all
And we all miss you very much

You are the bright one
Always making people happy
No matter what you’re always there
Smiling until the end

You are the regret
That I feel every day
Causing long nights of tears
All for you
I really do miss you
More than you can imagine
But our friendship is the past
And we can only look forward to the future
I hope yours is a good one

You are the insanity
That I call amazing
The one I can completely trust
And count on you
To stand by me

You are the fire
Burning like the sun
Bright as a star
Never dying
And never failing
To shine

Everyone has their reasons
Everyone makes mistakes
I’d just like to say…
I forgive every one
And I’m sorry
I hope you can forgive me too
I love you