Why am I always the one left alone?
Just because I don't voice my every feeling, my every emotion
That doesn't mean I don't have them
So you walk away
And you share your feelings with each other
And I'll just sit here and die a little more on the inside
Again
Just because you haven't seen me cry
That doesn't mean I'm not weak
I am
I'm weaker than I let on
And I'm weaker than you would guess
And I'm tired. Of. Being. Alone.
But I won't cry
Not in front of you, anyway
I'll just sit here and die a little more  on the inside
Again
There is a hunger in my stomach, yes
But it is nothing compared to the one in my heart
The hunger that eats away at my very soul and mind
And begs for the touch of another
For the attention of another
But is refused time and time again
So I wait
And I sit here
And I die a little more on the inside
**Again

My bed is so big and so empty
A constant reminder of you
Devoid of your warmth and affection
I'm not really sure what to do

I'm lying here hurt and so empty
All I can think of is you
You're tired and I know that you're trying
But I don't know what I need you to do

You're sleeping, your mind is all empty
I'm crying just thinking of you
I'm writing these words to stop the tears
And to keep me believing in you

One day my bed won't be empty
I'll wake up each morning to you
So I'll close my eyes, my pillow in hand
And hold it, pretending it's you

Oh, pull me from the shelf
And riffle through my pages
Read my words
Caress my spine
I haven't been touched in ages

Oh, pull me from the shelf
And take me out for tea
Sip your cup
Forget the world
It'll be cozy, just you and me

Oh, pull me from the shelf
And let's go to the beach
Set me down
Bask in the sun
Just keep me in arm's reach

Oh, pull me from the shelf
And take me up to bed
Close your eyes
I'll tell a tale
And let dreams dance through your head

zip
We're in the tent
ruffle
We're under the covers
Fully clothed, we're shy
After champagne, we're tipsy
Your arm makes the perfect pillow
But I'm nervous and give us space
"Do I get a goodnight kiss?" you ask
"If you want..." I stutter
For the second time that night,
And ever in  9 years,
We *kiss
You're perfection personified
I'm awkward
I roll over
But wait...
What was that?
I turn towards you again
Inhale
Cool but inviting
Sharp and intoxicating
I've never smelled you before
I cuddle closer
I close my eyes, breathe you in
My head swims
I am yours
How have I never noticed?
I am yours
Have you always been this soft and warm?
I am yours
Do you need me like I need you?
I am yours
Will you be mine?

Let's cuddle in the blankets
And pretend we see the sky
We'll close our eyes and count the stars
Just us, you and I

Let's swim in a vast lake
And pretend we're in the sea
We'll fight off whales and giant sea snails
Just us, you and me

Let's fall in love forever
And pretend we'll never die
We'll cuddle and hug and ****** and love
Just us, you and I

I'm happy for you
I truly am
But this smile is not the portrait of that happiness
It is a poorly formed mask
Used to hide my jealousy
And my pain
And worst of all my self-pity and self-hatred

I want nothing more
Than to smile once again
And to mean it
But the cavernous hole in my heart
That has yet to be filled with the love of another
Grows larger and larger with each passing day
Each week
Each month
Each year
And every day it becomes harder to even put on the mask to hide beneath
Every day a little more of the jealousy
The pain
The self-pity and the self-hatred shows
And I fear that when my heart can no longer bear the weight
Of the mask any longer
I will truly be alone

The ocean breeze caresses her skin
Though she's still in Math 103
It tickles her face and tangles her hair
Though she's still in room 118

The sun peaks out from behind the clouds
Yet she's still in Math 103
It warms the sand beneath her feet
Yet she's still in room 118

She falls in love with the sun and the sea
While she's still in room 118
At this point she's not sure she's going to pass
Pointless old Math 103

"A surprise? For me!"
She squealed with glee
For never had she
Been quite surprised by he

He was reliable, yes
At tickling the best
When it comes to kissing
He beat out the rest

But he'd had a yearning
It'd been calling his name
And from that weekend forward
Vacations would never be quite the same

At the Palace Hotel
He'd booked them a room
They had dinner, a show
And a glamorous buffet to consume

No, they weren't royalty
They had no royal adviser
But on that evening together
No one would have been the wiser

There once was a girl
who loved a boy
but didn't know it yet.
On the very first day
of seventh grade,
by chance, was when they met.
Wide-eyed the girl
stared at the boy
a full foot taller than her.
She asked his height
and from then on
shy friends was what they were.
She watched the boy
become a man
both on the field and off
and when was told
they'd never be
ignored each cruel scoff.
She tried to date
some other boys
(alone is hard to live)
but found that she'd
a heart that was
no longer hers to give.
At last they are together
though now they're far apart.
They'll live a life together
and he'll always have her heart.

Are you kidding?
This isn't me.
This was never and will never be me.
Nobody liked her.
Nobody likes her.
I hid her away and I changed her.
I changed her so many times
even I don't remember what she was.
Who she was.
There are so many other hers, other me's,
that I can't find her anymore.
She's gone.
She's gone and all that's left are the 'upgrades'.
The upgrades remain and each one contains less of me than the next.
Who will I be tomorrow?
Who knows?
Who cares?

I love you when I'm sad
And I love you more each day
I love you when I'm mad
No matter what I say

I love you when you're angry
And I love you when I rant
I love you when you  hold me
And I love you when you can't

I'll love you for a lifetime
And I'll love you through and through
Here's your Valentine's day poem
No one's loved like me and you

I wanted to write you a zombie poem
(Blood is bright red and brains greyish-blue...)
But I get so distracted
When my thoughts turn to  you.

How can I write about rotting flesh,
And bodies being torn limb from limb,
When all I can picture is your intoxicating smile
And how each time I see it my world feels less grim?

It's hard to describe our devious plans
When all thoughts of you make me want to sing.
But I like knowing that I am your queen
And that wherever you are that you are my king.

So, since this is instead
A zombie love poem
I guess I'll just have to say,
"Aaaahahhhh!" and
"Gwraaaar!"
Every single day.