At the Top
On the Edge
Filled with Anticipation
and Excitement

But
the rug was pulled out
from under its feet

Tock
down
the stairs
the marble goes

Tock
down
each step
the marble bounces
Up
and down

Tock
down
from the Edge
it started from
the marble drops

Tock
Tock
Tock

and no more
the marble no longer falls
for it is
at the bottom

where it no longer falls
but
it moves

the marble rolls
steadily
from side to side

until

it

stops

and sits there

quietly

silent

Never thought I would feel again
This smile feels strange on my face
Soaring with hope and uplifted
I forgot I had been rock bottom

But I’ve fallen once again
Not alone I hope
To a bottom that is not a void of despair
But a well of comfort and happiness

Your intense stare reddens my cheeks
I turn away in surprise at the sudden racing of my heart
Did you notice? Do you feel the same too?

I was in the abyss of emptiness
On the course of indifference
But you
Knocked me off my orbit around the planet of numbing solitude

I want to be your rock of strength
Take away your fears of inadequacies
Make you believe that you are good
And deserve to be loved

My heart hurts when you doubt yourself
You’re fighting a war to prove your worth
But no one is in your battlefield
Your enemy is your lack of trust in you

Who am I trying to protect?
You or me?
Because I’m saying this to you
But these words are from me
And how I wish someone said this to me

I love you
Your intense gaze
With your full attention
On me
So intense
I turned away
For I fear
You see
My naked
Thoughts, desires and feelings for you
My weaknesses and rot
Inside of me
I turn away
So I can keep some of my love
For you
For me

I send my love
Across the water, air, space
Not so it delivers
To you
But so I can free
Up a little space
For me
For my heart
Is as full with
You
I can't see
Myself
Anymore

Move, move move MOVE
Where to? What for? WHY?
There, here, EVERYWHERE!

School, work, MONEY!
Where to? What for? WHY?
Buy this, get that, want EVERYTHING!

Strangers, friends, PEOPLE
Where to? What for? WHY?
Smile, praise, talk, brag, VALIDATION!

Do you see?
Can you see?
Will you see?

Or is it me?
Am I mad?
That I imagine this madness around me!

But

Nothing can be done
Change must not come
For it is not what they want

Reality stares
But they pull the blanket over their heads
Pretending until it doesn't exist

Telling me this madness is
The madness we can't see

This is ORDER!
They scream and praise

But how proud can you be
If you have accepted this madness as your reality

Please don't come any closer
I beg you
This darkness is eating deeper
I'm trying to claw my way out
Out from where
There's nowhere
To go
Because you are part of me
The darkness is in me
Darkness is me