I sent myself a letter, C.O.D.
I refused the Postman payment
So he sent it back to me

I lent a Hand
to a Man in Need
But, oh how
Did I Bleed

I thought I saw Jesus
Walking down the road
His hair was long and flowing
and he was carrying a load
I rolled down my window
and opened up the door
And then I realized it was only
a homeless Troubadour

I can't seem to commit
to anything anymore
I'm even backing out
of my driveway

My dog threw a party last night
and invited all her friends
I was on pooper scooper duty
from the beginning to the end

The Dog Named Donald
left a present on the Capital steps
It will stink to high heaven
Until someone scoops up the mess

I was planning on having Monk Fish for dinner tonight
But it didn't want to be disturbed