Broken windows,
All this glass,
Some things don't just fix on their own,
Ripped skin, tired looks,
I'm so tired of feeling like this,
Where up is just a place where you look from down,
I just thought for once you'd be around,
I'm laying in bed wondering,
If I'll ever get back up,
I've just had a eighty hour week,
I guess it's what I have to do,
But I still made time for you,
I can't stop thinking about how
You're breaking my heart,
But I guess it's something you need to do,
I guess I can't blame you.

When I met you, I wasn't ready,
I've always been terrible with timing,
You were in a whole other world,
And my feet were still dangling,
I still had all these visions, endless opportunities,
You were so established,
You were so safe.
I wasn't looking for safe though,
It was the opposite.

I was so young,
I thought I'd never get hurt,
I always felt tall, and bullet proof,
And when I was brought down to the right size,
I just bounced back up and headed North to the sky,
At night you said you dreamed of me,
But I was just like the wind,
You felt me, but could never hold me,
Nobody has,
I took pride in belonging to nobody,
Not even myself,
I took the utter most fulfillment in the thought of being free,
Then you followed me,
Trying to tame me,
You never could understand my type,
You just can't make a bird stop wanting to fly,
On the ground I despised you,
In the air, I missed you,
and In my heart I always knew I loved you,
But this time is terrible for me.

I'm sorry baby,
Can you make that a double,
I'm so thirsty tonight,
I've been spending all night,
Trying to drown these memories,
But you keep popping into my mind,
I've tried it all,
And I've gotten nothing,
Where else is there to hide,
I've learned that there's nothing,
In this life worth living,
If you're not by my side.
I thought that you'd look back,
I thought one day you'd want to be here with me,
I miss you a lot more,
Then I thought I ever would,
So tonight,
I'm just drowning memories.

Their sins were burned on her arms,
She paid for mistakes that weren't hers,
Trembling hands grasp shaky knees,
Control was slipping.

Debris filled the air,
With smoke and fire.
My mind became a blank slate;
My heart was beating so fast.
We stood back,
Standing right next to each other
And we watched the broken building crumble,
Watched brick by brick as they fell to the earth,
There was a moment of silence among the crowd,
For we didn’t know whether to cry or rejoice,
That we slid by this time.

I looked up and saw you,
You looked like a hero,
Halos of gold shined above your head,
You rebuilt roads that were broke,
You fixed every problem,
You kept together our home,
I wanted to be just like you,
My heart swelled with love for you.
I was your little solider,
I was your little helper,
I was your little friend,
I was your baby girl,
You were my best friend.
It was all to my surprise,
The man I loved with all my heart,
Didn't have love for me at all,
If he loved me, he wouldn't have done what he did,
He loved his drugs and alcohol,
He always got so mean,
Maybe he doesn't remember,
But I'll never be able to forgot what he did to me.
I still live with the broken remains,
The sad memories,
Of the love that I once had,
Now all I feel is the loss, the pain, and the break,
I've become so confused,
I can't live with what you did,
It's just to much.

It's like a dance,
All arms and legs,
Lips and nails,
Turning and lifting;
Every movement is in sync,
Every heart beat is a little faster then the last.
He has this taste,
Sin and love,
It's intoxicating,
I'm drunk in the sensations,
I just can't stop.
When he whispers in my ear that he loves me,
My head goes spinning,
This feels like a fairytale,
Then when I think I'm done,
His hands are on me again,
His touch tears me apart,
He has me,
I only want to be with him,
Just like this,
Every day until I die.

Let me tell you a little story,
About a girl called me,
Who had a broken heart,
That nobody could see,
But she felt it,
So she smiled through it,
Because she didn't want other people to feel it to,
Sometimes a frown is just as contagious as a smile,
Or that was what she thought,
So everyday she fell apart a little more,
All alone,
With people all around,
And nobody saw the pain that shown through her eyes,
Even though it came across so clear,
At the start of every smile,
Her eyes began to water,
And no one had a clue,
How lost she truly was,
Or how bad she really felt,
How every night she laid awake,
Thinking to herself about the past that haunted her,
And no one ever woke her up.

You always have a way of ******* everything up,
I've successfully excluded you from my life for years,
The choice had to be made at the time;
You're not a kind man,
You have no compassion,
And I've always known in my heart,
That you're no good for anyone,
Especially not me.
I've always had to pick up the lose pieces from the damage you left,
You never want to talk about that,
I've been trying so hard to forget all these hard times,
And now I'm better off since your not here.
I don't want to fight, cause I know I'm right,
You don't change,
You just hurt,
I can't have that in my life,
So I'm going onward with my travel,
You can just stay here.

Fingers glide over keys,
The room is covered in smoke,
My eyes are glazed,
Melodies play quietly,
You're sitting like a king,
Everyone can see you,
But you can't see a thing.

First you start fast,
your fingers going so quickly,
then they slow,
just as brilliantly as they speeded,
Before I know what to say,
your eyes are fixed on me.

The way my hearts skipping beats,
it's so foreign to me,
I swore long ago
not to love anything,
but before I know what I'm doing,
I'm drawing closer to you.

My eyes feel wide,
they're so tired,
I can't blink,
I'm scared you wouldn't be there,
You look so brilliant in this room.

Together we're on a wooden bench,
You're speaking so softly,
You're voice like the song you played,
It's soft and touching to the heart,
I don't know where to start,
I start mumbling,
In an absent place of mind,
I whisper,
"There you are",
Or maybe that's what my heart said.

Your eyes are bright blue,
Your sandy brown hair,
It's taking all my effort
not to show you what I'm feeling,
All I hear is your breathing,
The room is hush,
Then a brush of your finger,
A mindless touch,
It sends my heart flying,
Just like I knew it would.

With my heart beating,
and my mind spinning,
I press my fingers to the keys,
You smile at the noise it makes,
Then you took my hand,
between the thudding in my chest,
I hear quietly,
the words brush against your lips,
"There you are",
Or maybe that's what your heart said.

Sometimes I lay in bed and miss you,
And I remind myself that I shouldn't,
I remind myself that you aren't missing me,
I think about how much you didn't care,
How you destroyed me.
Every night when I'm missing you,
With every fiber of my being,
So hard that the muscles in my stomach hurt,
And my hearts beating fast,
I try to stop and think,
All those nights you stayed up for hours screaming at me,
I try to remind myself that you didn't treat me well,
But in the middle of the night,
When I'm dozing through awake and dreams,
I don't remember those things,
And I'm just laying there,
And I miss you.

In the deepest of my despair I missed him,
With more than I had to give, and more than I could take,
It seemed as though the days were longer then normal,
And I was just waiting for him to come back.
I began to become consumed by every thought and hope,
I couldn't bare not to think about him,
He was something I would sell my own soul to get back,
Or maybe I already had.
My heart twisted and pulled right through my chest,
I laid in bed alone with my stomach in knots,
This bed is empty, it only hold me,
Lying in the darkness I didn't say I missed him,
Not verbally at least,
My body was all to aware of his absence,
I didn't have a spare thought to think,
All the people around me are staring,
But I'm to busy to care what they think,
I'm looking all around for anywhere he might be,
Searching desperately,
He consumes me,
Consumes me,
Consumed me.

Another restless fight,
This'll keep me up all night,
I know there's nothing I can do,
So we blame it on my so called "attitude",
You stand high acting crude,
Protection that what I wanted to provide,
I couldn't help Daddy dying,
There's nothing more I can give,
Now like enemies we stand on separate lines;
Muttering about how we're fine,
But pain still lives inside,
The past still consumes us,
We still argue about what we didn't do.

You act like it doesn't hurt me,
Like I'm some kind of robot,
Like I have no emotion,
You act like your voice doesn't crush me inside,
I'm sure you think I'm being cold,
but inside it murders me;
I listen to every voicemail,
I cry every time,
But you wouldn't know that,
I can't take the time;
Sometimes I wonder why I fight,
I wonder why I'm not returning to you,
My heart conflicts,
Yes and No;
This is from a child who was crushed,
By a man that made promises he couldn't keep,
Now I sit staring at my feet,
And wait for a man who used to adore her,
Now I don't know what to say,
I shake with every word,
I love you dearly, but I can't do this anymore.

For tonight just stay with me,
all my words like a plea,
you crawl into bed,
right next to me,
I want everything you are,
I'll just settle to be in your arms,
nobody has held me,
nobody has cared for me,
I've been the provider,
I always give what I need,
You're right next to me,
I finally stop shivering,
You keep whispering things to me,
Your words are soothing to my tensed nerves,
I want to touch you,
just like you touch me,
with that loving feeling
that jolts me back to life,
You're a kind man,
Nothing in you is mean,
You're the safest place I've been,
I don't want to be scared again,
My minds going so fast,
I hear every little beat of your heart,
I start to ramble,
You silence me,
I don't move,
I'm scared for you to leave,
You kiss my forehead.
"Everything's alright".

You could slap me across the face,
Knock me to the floor,
Scream into my ear,
Say things that strikes me right to the core,
And all I would do,
Is just stand up and thank you for your time.

He wakes up at the crack of dawn,
Smokes a pack a day,
He likes a shot of whiskey; at the end of every day,
The sink is never washed the way I like,
My refrigerator has never been the same;
He forgets his coat on the floor,
He doesn't make seven figures a year,
I would love to say I adore him in every way,
But I don't think that every year when he forgets our anniversary,
Most would have parted ways,
But no, not me;
He does a lot wrong,
I'll never forget the day,
He asked my brother at Christmas dinner,
If he went either way,
But I love that man, with everything inside of me, that I won't deny.

I could never repay him for the right he does,
Although there's more wrongs
The way he holds me in bed,
The way he's the first to make coffee,
The way he puts my earrings away;
He hands me a ***** tonic,
He mows the lawn,
He kicks my tires,
Changes my oils at inconvenient times,
I know he lost his watch, I bought for his birthday,
But I could never repay the way he treats our son,
The way he tries to braid our daughter's hair,
The way after all these years he still whispers "I love you" in my ear,
I don't care if he could ignore every Valentines day,
I'll still love him for his rights.

I poured myself a drink,
Sat at my desk,
I tried to write,
But I just couldn't form words,
He was the only thing in my mind,
I couldn't take the remembering,
I just couldn't forget,
I wanted him here.

The bartender poured me a double,
I sat at the bar,
I wanted to call her,
But I didn't know what to say,
She's so good with her words,
I can't take her not being here,
I can't forget her in any way.

They tossed and turned ideas,
One to the other,
They wanted each other,
But they both didn't know what to do,
So they sat with there tears and alcohol,
Trying to figure it out,
An arm reach away,
But they wouldn't reach out.

Do you remember anything from last night,
It was all a blur,
Maybe I did something right,
But wrong is what I do best,
I don't think you really know,
Just how lost I am,
I'm reaching for hands,
But there's never anything to grasp,
There's never a end.

You can't make plans, you only break them;
Being on time is a concept you don't understand,
All those little quarks,
Those little moments when I look at you and wonder "Why",
But then you say something so incredibly clever;
that has me laughing at your feet,
You taught me how to smile at a time that I didn't have a reason to,
I had never had a friend like you,
I don't remember the exact day you stumbled in my life,
But I know that I'll never forget,
Your high pitched voice and boney hands,
I found you,
And you became my best friend.

You know me,
I just fall to easily,
I met you and never looked back,
I fell in love with you fast,
I've been that way since,
I know I'm not easy to love,
But stand by me,
You're all I want to hold.

The petal's pressed to the floor,
I just passed 105,
Every thing is a blur,
I'm dodging traffic through these tears in my eyes,
I wonder if that was the last time I'll tell my mother bye,
And part of me wishes it is,
There's visions of cars passing by,
I can't see them though,
I wish I had another choice,
Crashing head on into the metal railing on the interstate,
My body goes through the thick glass of the windshield,
I'm lying broken on the concrete,
The sound I'm making is hardly human,
And somehow I found relief.

How long will it take,
How long will you be used,
You toss every hurt word aside,
When will I not be the only one on your side,
Will your tears ever dry,
From where he knocks you down each time,
When will you say it's enough,
When will you walk away from it all,
When will you say it's not okay,
How will you heal,
When he continues to make new wounds,
When will you leave this all,
Sorry for this cruel truth,
The cruel truth about you.

Miles apart,
Oceans wide,
The other side of the world,
It's not how it's suppose to be,
We're the two to get together,
And together we are suppose to be,
Skies and canyons,
Fields of green,
The world between us is beautiful,
But your still the most beautiful thing I've seen.
Maybe your the ocean and I'm the shore,
Your a bird and I'm the ground,
I'll be here when you land from whatever your on,
We both made our decisions,
Despite our pasts,
I just need you to know,
I'll be here when you land.

Little fingers brush against my face,
Little feet kick softly at my sides,
Your sweet little smile,
Those blue eyes staring up at me,
Everything inside me loves you.

The day you were born
I didn't know what to expect,
It was a surprise to me,
I didn't know I could love anything.

You taught me things,
Much more then I could teach you,
I'll show you how to ride a bike,
Maybe tie your shoes,
I still couldn't catch up to you.

Only four short months ago,
You were coming into this world,
It was a long nine months,
You changed my whole world,
I can honestly say,
I'll give anything for you,
I just want to watch you grow,
I'll protect you from danger,
Encourage you in doubt,
The world is yours,
My sweet little girl.

Give me something beautiful,
something beautiful to write.
Something about how the good guys always win,
something about the books we read as children, coming to life.
I need someone to tell me how the prince will come,
and the weather will change it's season this time.
I need a little hope,
I need something to help me feeling inside.

It was another Saturday night,
I worked a double,
I was asleep on my feet,
Then there you were.
It was a quarter till ten,
Almost time to leave.
I knew I'd have to stay because of you.
I marched back and forth in that dining room,
Wishing you'd leave,
I knew you felt the vibe,
It was practically a scream.
Then across the room,
You yelled to me your name,
I didn't care,
So you said it again.
I went to you,
I watched you,
You were so beautiful,
Or maybe I was just delusional,
Thirteen hour shifts will do that to you.
I didn't care about clocking out,
I didn't even know where to start,
So I just told you our specials,
And started to leave,
But I just couldn't walk away,
I've never walked away..

I didn't feel the flutter of your feet,
I didn't hear your cry,
But I felt you,
Our hearts shared the same chords,
You are the only one who's ever touched my soul,
I don't know how this happened,
It breaks my heart to know I'll never see your sweet face,
Or hear you sweet little laugh,
I can only imagine your beauty,
Or the way you'd play with your daddy,
I don't know why things happened like this,
My heart will never beat in the right tune,
Because I never got to have you.

I'll just let you down,
That's what I thought,
When I left this little town,
With not even a wave goodbye,
Now here I am two years later,
Coming in the limits of this town,
And I keep wondering if you still hang around here?
The trees still make the same sound as they blow,
The grounds look beautiful this time of year,
Nothing changed since I left here.
I passed that cracked stop sign,
I wonder if you ever lived down my name,
That Summer of '03 was the best of my life,
There's still damage from our reign,
I've been here for twenty minutes and your already stuck in my head,
And when I saw you walking down the street,
It felt like I never left.

I'm alone again tonight,
You said you'd be home,
But again, you weren't,
I should of expected it.
I tend to spend a lot of time alone lately,
You're never where you say you are,
And you're always saying how you'll take care of me,
But you really haven't lately.
I've started writing a lot again,
Usually about your love and how I lost it,
Or maybe how I never got it,
The webs are still to tangled to tell,
I'll just let you know that it kills me,
I can't even sleep,
I'm just haunted by bad dreams,
I try not to tell you though,
You're always so stressed,
And I'm always to blame,
There's always something I did,
Or something I didn't do,
It's a terrible way to be,
Just living to please,
So I'm here again,
At your hands and feet,
I'm waiting for something good to happen.
But when it's going right you leave,
So I'm beating you to the punch this time,
I'm in my car taking the highway out,
I left a letter on the kitchen table,
saying *"I'm sorry, I had to get out"

Summer's almost over,
What's going to happen to us,
I promised forever,
I guess time flies when your having fun.
How'd you find your way into my heart,
How'd you make me love you this way?
I've been trouble since the start,
For you I was changing my ways,
but now as Summer fades;
Do I go back to my old ways?
All the nights you held me,
The nights we got lost in each other,
Did it mean anything to you?
Why'd this Summer have to end.

We're screaming,
Drunken and reeling back to where we were before,
I just want to let you know now,
That I didn't mean a thing I said,
My words poured out,
And before I knew what I was doing,
I saw that I was the one doing the hurting this time,
The years are rolling by now,
And I'm trying to catch up,
But I always stumble,
You were always so good at getting back up,
I don't have my helping hand this time,
I guess that happens one you keep on hand wrapped around the bottle,
The whiskey doesn't like to stay here,
And it's all my fault,
I know why.

It's been a while since I've been here,
I regret every time I do,
Gaining and loses pieces,
It's a game you don't want to play,
If you ever do, you'll feel as I do,
I fill the spaces,
Take my time with the glue,
Nothing feels quite like you,
I wonder if you'll ever let me get put together,
You like to watch me come unglued,
Yet it hurts so good when you do.

Buzz and beeps from machines,
Air pushes in and out,
Your chest moves,
My knees shake;
Yet I try to seem steady.
There's a rawness in my throat,
A hole in my belly,
I feel as though I should just drop to the ground to cry
The nurses look at me with pity,
The doctors glance as they go by,
And there I am;
Watching you die.

Just a casual conversation,
Between a few friends,
Your name came up,
I don't know how,
I guess I blacked out,
They ask me if that was someone I knew,
Was I suppose to tell the truth?
I couldn't stop my heart from weeping,
I felt the raw pain in my throat,
I replied in a bit if a sob,
and in my last breath I cried,
I used to.

Pounding is taking place in my head,
A constant pound that reminds me,
I'm over thinking this,
My heart is skipping beats,
My hands are shaking,
I don't normally act this way,
But I have to say,
To give yourself completely,
That's a fearless thing to do,
I'm trying to jump into this,
It's suppose to be easy,
I'm giving my heart to you,
Protect me please,
My everything's you.

Do me a favor?
This is a gun,
It has three bullets,
I'll only need one,
One hand around the handle,
One at the base,
I'll give you a minute,
To decide my fate,
Don't take this personally,
You're just who came by,
I don't care who you are,
As long as I die,
Don't think you're a bad person,
You won't do any time,
I just need some rest,
The best kind.

This is our playground baby,
Nobody's coming to save us,
This is the world we created,
We live with the consequences from our choices,
If that's to much to swallow,
Then there's something more wrong with us,
Then we even initially thought,
We lived wildly,
And thought we'd stay free,
I don't know who was more delusional,
You or Me,
Now baby, count for me,
Is this life two or three,
Everything starting to blur,
I can hardly see if it's me in the mirror,
Or another character I created,
Let's ignore all these exit signs,
There's only a road block a few million miles,
We can stay on this road, for now.

I closed my eyes,
I blew out seventeen candles,
All thinking of the same wish,
I know I shouldn't jinxes this,
But even as foolish as I am,
I know all dreams don't come true.
I thought back to just a year prior,
The places I had been,
All while staying in the same neighborhood,
And in those new spaces,
Filled with dark and black,
I found a cold little being in the corner amidst all of that terror,
I remember the floor felt a little harder then before,
The room was a little bit larger,
And inside my soul had grown violent,
But you always did that to me,
My mind was empty,
I wasn't thinking about you,
I was feeling you though,
I was rabid,
The raw hatred in my body made it impossible to speak,
You didn't just upset me that night,
You created a new being,
Someone cold,
Someone heartless,
Someone who couldn't love,
You made me this way,
My bones still ache,
My body still pulsates,
The blood through my veins is rushing,
Now my wish is simple,
It's just to do as you wanted,
Just a year prior this time,
I pray you get your wish,
Maybe you should take another bottle of pills this time.

It's a hard road,
There's rocks and pebbles,
Sometimes we'll get our knees scratch,
Or even worse;
Sometimes we'll fall flat on our faces,
There's hills,
They feel like mountains,
There's rain,
There's storms,
But I love you more,
And I know our worth,
It's not easy,
But you're worth it.

You resent me,
I know you do,
It's not what you say,
It's the tone in your voice when you storm away,
When you speak about me,
Acting like I do terrible deeds,
Just because I'm the seed of a man who did terrible things,
But he's dying now,
At this slow pace,
I know the memories could never be erased,
Although, I'm his spitting image,
Don't hate me too,
How long will you make me pay,
Mommy, just say you forgive me for the things I didn't do.

Forgive me Father; for I have sinned,
Look what I just did again,
Give me grace to let them in;
What I monster I've became,
I can hardly live this way,
I struggle everyday,
Is this the way it was suppose to be;

Wish I could just skip rocks and play make-believe,
Reality's tearing away every unbroken piece,
No way to get some inner peace;

Everybody stay away
Your not safe with me this way,
I have no boundaries no regrets,
No hope for turning back;

Life it to real to stand her comfortably,
So mentally I'm ****** up,
all these doors shut,
But nobody cares,
I'm not any one anymore;

Daddy's gone,
And Momma's getting there,
I can barely look at myself in the mirror,
My image just keeps getting clearer,
What I never wanted to be,
Is all I ever see;

The hate just eats away at me,
There's no escaping for me,
I'm the monster they created,
Father forgive me Father for I have sinned.

I used to hate you,
Really hate you, with every fiber of my being,
I spent so much time thinking about you,
And about how you weren't thinking of me,
You'd leave me messages all the time,
Telling me how it's my fault,
How I was the one who needed to change,
Maybe you were right,
I did.
You had me so convinced that without you I was nothing,
You had to be my sun and moon,
Without you I was lost,
I couldn't protect myself,
I couldn't provide,
You created a small, fragile creature that had to depend solely on you,
And that's what you wanted,
You wanted to ******* me,
So I would never leave you,
But you always left me,
And I was always just an after effect,
When you returned I was expected to fall back in place.
You were cruel,
You knew just what to say to hurt,
And that was your purpose,
You'd throw verses from the Bible,
Mixed with your own ******* up theories,
To create a mix that made me unwilling of everything.
I want you to know,
Now that I'm a little older,
A little colder,
That you are right,
I needed to change,
And finally see the disaster in front of me,
You're the monster,
And I will no longer think of you at all,
Because at the end of the day,
When I'm sitting happily,
You'll be in some God forsaken place,
And I won't be thinking of you at all.

The leaves fell off the trees,
The grass' color faded,
The sky got darker,
And I don't mind saying,
That I miss you;

The weather turned cold,
The holidays are coming soon,
And when I close my eyes I picture you beside me,
Yet I don't mind admitting,
That I miss you;

The clouds roll above,
Time travels on,
Somewhere beside the sea you'll be,
And I don't mind insisting,
That I miss you;

When I walk down the street,
All the faces I see,
The people that speak,
But I still notice my hands are empty,
And I don't mind you knowing,
That I still miss you.