It's been a long few weeks,
Smoking cigarettes waiting to suffocate,
Drinking every night,
I guess I really am Daddy's little girl,
I've got all his tendencies,
I just do what I've got to do,
I've been in a really dark place,
Where lights can't touch the sea,
I can barely hear the crowd say my name,
Am I awake, am I conscious,
Working everyday,
Telling all my coworkers, that I'm okay,
Really I just want a shot of Jack,
It'll help me sleep,
I don't do much of that these days.

I spent so long thinking about you, that I can't seem to think about anything else,
The way your hands feel, The way your smile spreads, The way my heart feels when your around,
I've been thinking about how long we've been together, and how I don't know how to not be with you,
I started this relationship with you, but I didn't really have any expectations,
I just thought, "He's gorgeous, I want to date that." but my thoughts quickly changed from looks to,
I like his looks, but I love his heart,
And maybe that's when I really started falling in love with you, or maybe that was point where I was to far to ever come back, but then again; the two moments are practically interchangeable,
I remember our first date, and then our second date, and our third date, and that moment when I realized every time I saw you, it was like the first time; you always gave me butterflies,
So it comes to this, Where I'm about to go to college, and you're to big for this little town to hold,
and I swear I'm not mad, I just hope you remember me where ever you go,
and your heart always has a home with me.

I don't want to wake up without you,
Like I've done so many nights before,
I'm sure you can't hear your phone over the music,
I bet the last thing your thinking about is coming home,
I know you're not worried that I'm here alone,
Or about the sounds that wake me up,
I keep staring at the ceiling,
Waiting for your call,
Wondering who'll drive you home,
I guess I should of known what I was getting into,
I met you at a party after all,
You were the life of the party,
The light in the room,
Everyone just watched at you stumbled around,
I thought you'd change your ways,
I thought you'd love me more,
I was so idiotic for believing it to be true,
I'm curled up with a glass of wine,
It's the only thing to calm my nerves,
And tonight I'm praying hard,
That you'll come home tonight.

I had a thought today while I was getting my nails done,
Just what if this was meant to last,
I mean, would it be such a crazy thing,
If you and I ended up being the two,
I remember the day we met,
I was such a mess,
A few beers in,
It wasn't my most classiest moment,
But I knew it wasn't the alcohol making me fall for you,
You drove a jacked up Chevy,
I was wearing shoes that cost more then your tires,
We didn't match,
But I've seen crazier things happen,
Then the day I fell in love with you.

I love you,
I've been up hours thinking,
Thinking about how much I love you.
You see, we're having problems,
Sometimes I swear I hate you,
Everything you do makes me mad,
We argue all the time,
Sometimes you really do disgust me,
But when it comes to you,
I know we're right,
Everytime I hate you,
Everytime I'm mad,
I stop being mad,
And I just love you,
Because I love you,
And there's no getting around that.

Sometimes I lay in bed and miss you,
And I remind myself that I shouldn't,
I remind myself that you aren't missing me,
I think about how much you didn't care,
How you destroyed me.
Every night when I'm missing you,
With every fiber of my being,
So hard that the muscles in my stomach hurt,
And my hearts beating fast,
I try to stop and think,
All those nights you stayed up for hours screaming at me,
I try to remind myself that you didn't treat me well,
But in the middle of the night,
When I'm dozing through awake and dreams,
I don't remember those things,
And I'm just laying there,
And I miss you.

I don't know why you matter,
I don't know why I care,
When I pull my hair up,
I can't help but wonder if you'll like it when I see you there,
I don't know why I bother,
Playing around with you,
You're the one that broke my heart,
But I keep running back to you,
I don't know why my arms curl around your neck,
I don't know why the taste of lips stay on my breath,
And after all this time of loving and hating,
I don't know why I stay with you.