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R A Sanders Dec 2012
I don't think you understand what you're getting into,
You think I'm attractive,
Clever at times,
But you don't know me.
You've heard me converse,
You say I have a cute laugh,
And you say you're ready,
Ready for all the baggage I always seem to bring,
But maybe you should understand,
I've never loved anything,
And you won't change anything..
Maybe you should think twice,
Take the hint and run,
I'm so lost in this world,
That there's no sight of the road,
This is for your own good,
You don't know what I've been through,
So maybe it's best if you take the warning and leave,
You don't know me.
R A Sanders Dec 2012
The petal's pressed to the floor,
I just passed 105,
Every thing is a blur,
I'm dodging traffic through these tears in my eyes,
I wonder if that was the last time I'll tell my mother bye,
And part of me wishes it is,
There's visions of cars passing by,
I can't see them though,
I wish I had another choice,
Crashing head on into the metal railing on the interstate,
My body goes through the thick glass of the windshield,
I'm lying broken on the concrete,
The sound I'm making is hardly human,
And somehow I found relief.
R A Sanders Dec 2012
I came to a cross road,
The first one I think I had ever been to,
There I straddled a thin line,
Between my faith and fear,
And I stood there just staring at my feet.
My Grandmother always told me,
Just let life unfold,
But it's a terrible thing being taken from everything you know,
And I had no control,
That was the scariest thing.
I heard faint voices down both paths,
I heard their judgmental tones,
But I couldn't make out what they were saying,
Maybe if I did I could of made a choice,
But sometimes I didn't even know if the choice was actually mine.
I was always a victim of some terrible situation,
One after another, after another,
The same situations had made me cold and indecisive,
After all, there's only so many times a kid can rebuild all those walls,
I had my heart broken more times then I could count,
I got to the point that most of the time I didn't even know if my heart was there,
I had moments where I checked my pulse, because to be living I didn't feel very alive.
So I was standing there,
And all I wanted to do was turn around and run,
And when I knew I should of made a choice between the two,
I cut through the trees,
And made a path of my own,
I disappointed everyone I knew,
But maybe they didn't know me very well at all,
Cause I was self destructing and nobody knew.
R A Sanders Dec 2012
Some people you shouldn't have,
And never should you hold them,
Because the thing about those types,
They are the ones that love fast,
The ones that make you fall hard,
The ones you're head over heels about,
But they always slip out in time,
The time before they love you back,
Or even care at all,
It's such a strange design,
You love and hate them,
They consume every inch of your mind,
And you don't even notice,
Cause when you love like that,
Nobody gets out alive.
R A Sanders Dec 2012
There came a time,
Not far in the past enough for the pain to be numb,
The memories still swirl around in my head,
His hands were on me and nobody heard the screams,
Now every man I see, I see his face,
Somebody tell me how to cope with that,
I relive the trauma,
The scratches and scars,
Now I can't hear a knock on the **** door,
Without alarms going off in my head,
Now tell me how you shielded me from this,
How I was the favorite,
If this was my reward,
I hope I'm your last pick,
I didn't know why he picked me,
I don't know why I didn't tell you,
I just need a moment alone,
To wish this away,
But it never goes away,
I want to go away.
R A Sanders Dec 2012
This is our playground baby,
Nobody's coming to save us,
This is the world we created,
We live with the consequences from our choices,
If that's to much to swallow,
Then there's something more wrong with us,
Then we even initially thought,
We lived wildly,
And thought we'd stay free,
I don't know who was more delusional,
You or Me,
Now baby, count for me,
Is this life two or three,
Everything starting to blur,
I can hardly see if it's me in the mirror,
Or another character I created,
Let's ignore all these exit signs,
There's only a road block a few million miles,
We can stay on this road, for now.
R A Sanders Dec 2012
There was something about him,
Something that made you just want to see him succeed,
And you never really knew why you were always pulling for him,
There were times when he failed,
He'd get this look of despair on his face,
He bit his lip,
He cursed to himself,
But the most capturing thing was that look of his,
That I gave my all, and failed look,
That same look tore you down to your very bones.
I watched him rebuild himself,
He would get so frustrated with himself,
I wanted to assure him that everything would work out,
But it was useless,
He only believed things he could see,
And he never seemed to see himself,
He never believed in himself.
Then there were these times when he succeed,
I'd just watch him grin all over himself,
His smile seemed a mile wide,
Those dimples would appear in his cheeks,
But he'd never speak a work about what he'd accomplished,
When you ever brought it up, He'd get embarrassed,
He never thought he did anything worth praising,
The thing is,
I don't ever think he realized that everybody was praising him,
No matter what he ever did,
I don't ever thing he realized that no matter what he did,
I was in love with him,
And I don't ever think he realized it.
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