Holly

Holly Jan 2015

I remember being on the phone til 4:00 in the morning,
I remember you getting shot in the leg while me and you were talking.
As you  were running from those people.
I remember me telling you to eat cat food because you were locked in a room so they couldnt find you and you havent eaten,
I remember you telling me you loved me,
I said i didnt feel the same way,
You almost committed suicide while being at the harbor by your house.
I loved when we video chatted,
You had a transgender friend,
You always wrestled with what you called "it"
I thought it was rude...
But these memories just dont leave.
Because i keep feeding them with Images of what it would be like if i was there.
You told me you loved me,
You dated another girl, i  cried
But you broke up with her for me..
I kinda miss these memories.
I kinda did love  you.
(yeah, i have turned down a lot of people but this one meant the most)
I just  cant get rid of these tired memories. Because i give them your favorite energy drink ;)

Holly Jan 2015

Untitled

Pills in my face,
Razor by my wrist,

Why should i be alive.?
I get bullied,
My mom & dad Hates Me,
Emotionally Abused,
Mental illness Has won,
Why give me pills?
Because its not working.

Holly Jan 2015

:'(

My eyes blurred,
Make-up smeared,
Nose red,
Brain aching,
Crying,
Dying,
And bout to break a 1 & a half month.
Of being clean
But this time. its going to be done right.
Because soon, i wont be able to do this life style anymore,
becasue everything i love is leaving,
friends,
family,
And soon me.

Holly Jan 2015

Why.

If i am angel.
Then why cant i go too heaven?

Holly Jan 2015

?

Why does my life ****.?

Holly Jan 2015

Fake.

Fake smiles,
Fake laughs,
Fake heart,
Fake personality,
Fake human,
Fake me,
So yeah, Fake is me.

Holly Jan 2015

.

I seem like such a happy person.
But deep down,
Im truly not.
I know people have it worse than me,
But i still have troubles of my own.