when i saw a picture of you
i almost didn't recognize you
almost
i am waiting
for the months to
turn into years
and for time to erase
the perfect image
i have created for you

there are still parts of me
trying to forget you
i want to forget the good
i want to erase me
from your memory
not all of me
but just the parts
that made you stop loving me
that is not to say
i want us to be in love again
i do not
but i do not want
every memory you have of me
coated in a thick layer
of regret

best friend
i am still angry
you do not always
get to pick the easy way
without hurting anyone
and it always seems to be me
the one who feels the hurting
i know you are trying
but this is not about you
please
sometimes i just need you
to support me

when coming home
suddenly turns into
going back in time
i do not know what to do
when there is
no where else to go
and i would rather
be anywhere but here

today is the day
where you
turned into nothing more
than a picture
i can gently tuck away
into my memory box

you asked about my poetry
you stopped and asked me
to reread a poem to you

i cannot tell
if you wanted to hear
my voice shake
or if you really cared

you are the only partner
who ever truly appreciated
my writing

and i cannot understand
how there can be
so much good mixed into the bad

you hurt me in a way
that is unforgivable
but you also cared so deeply
about me

how do i forgive myself
for not constantly being angry
for the scars you have left me with

if my body
is no longer my home
where do i belong