i even dream about you
except for yesterday
it wasn't a dream
it was a nightmare
and for the first time
maybe this
us
didn't feel like a dream

i keep writing
and rewriting
this long message
to you
maybe not a message
but a question
i need to know
is this something
you still want
and by this
i mean mean me
am i something
that you still want

i can't sleep
when i miss home
i toss and turn
all night
wishing to be in
my own bed
and when i come
to realize
the home i want
to go to
is no longer there
i cry
hoping i can
cry myself to sleep
but instead
i think about
missing home
and not sleeping

i always wait for her
during a storm
i wait for her to text
to call
to smile
to laugh
she is not afraid
of storms
she uses the
lightning flashes
as fuel and
the thunder cracks
as ammunition
how is something
that i am so afraid of
something she can
build from

last night
when i looked
at the moon
my heart
began to ache
but i couldn't
figure out why
maybe
i thought
i don't miss
looking at the moon
i miss you

i can't decide
if i will ever
let you
read my poetry
i don't know
if i can
let you in
without scaring
you away

how do you know
the right thing to say
when i do not even know
what i want to hear
when i am panicked
you know how to help
when i am sad
you know how to be there
when i am on top of the world
you are there with me
i keep asking myself
how do you know what i need
and i think it is because
you know me