analyzing the small twinkles in my peripheral, knowing I should probably get my eyes checked...
to focus on one thing is difficult but somehow I manage to pull out my Sunday's Best
fleeting, intense and sometimes distressed, quick to look in the mirror and remember this is all a test
no one fully knows me because I don't even know her..
a mystical mermaid caught up in conspiracy theories and things you probably haven't heard
too much knowledge for my own good, they say "even though you think you should, you shouldn't because the universe won't be able to save"
save me from the many atoms and cosmic DNA that was perfectly arranged for a spirit such as me
to say I need saving would make you deranged
whether 2, 3,4,5,6 of me, this is my astrological destiny

I am no pretty tumblr girl
I am composed of many elements of the world
what she finds dark and medieval, I see it as transparent and see through
I remember when your heart would zoom as I took steps across a room.. Now I am merely but a figure, a shadow.
A worn object a relative buys you again and you sigh saying "I already had those"
I wince at the thought or idea of love being eternal, most humans being susceptible to boredom, the other starts to blame their internal
eventually the external self
and as I grow more introspective, my aura turns the darkest shade of purple
and the day I finally let you go is the day that you finally know

full of bright light and flashy energy
around me, it causes my energy to deplete
I whither away into my cancerous shell
questioning myself, but only partially because partially in myself I believe
partially a part of me wants to flee
partially I would like to stay in the between
the thoughts dissipate
my thoughts are as fleeting as the meaning of life
to many women, men, and children alike
but oh so different
I've stopped caring about the difference
I only feel what is apparent
apparent disguised as empathy and to a fault I could let others flaws become me
but everyone in life needs their Jolene

I know of no man, throughout the history of mankind capable of escaping the duality of existence. That of Spirit and Flesh; Ether and Clay.  Except maybe those of fictional characters imagined from the minds of drunkards and wretched souls . I myself have sought out ways to escape this madness only to find myself behind the bulwark of my inevitable being, but I now urge myself to delve deeper, deeper into the hole of darkness away from the gleaming ideals of perfection.
I too am wretched, drunken, and my lips, darkened.

Movie Therapy
I like to call it that because viewing others lives in the midst of my own storm is so calming
My mind always constantly swarms see, like an angry sea , waves crashing against every angle of my cerebral
With my cancer moon and air sun, well she stands no chance against the forces of water , they are much more grand
Movie therapy is my sailboat guiding me back to the comfort of my dry land