what hurts the most is when somebody who meant the most to you, left you. being in the boat where both of you promised to survive the waves together, help each other to save whatever is drifting away. as you go through the hardship together, you tend to remember all the details about the other person and you’ll only realize that awesome memorisation of yours – how you actually remembered most of what had happened - once they’re gone. and sadly, i am a person of long-term memory, i can’t remember your favourite song title you told me last night, i can’t remember that beautiful phrase of yours that you spoke to me the other day, i can’t. i hate that. so what i realize is that you will never cherish what is in front of you. once you had her, you thought you had the world. you took advantage of what she has and once you’re done, once you’ve had enough, you just leave like nothing has happened – i am profoundly perplexed. i am struggling so hard to forget all the tiny pieces you left me to hold on with. i wish i had the opportunity to run from it as much as you do. i wish i can just run and leave whatever is bringing me down behind and not face it anymore and go on with life like nothing ever happened. you left me here in your past and i still cannot do anything to resolve it. it was hanging and i still couldn’t find the logic to what actually happened. i’m pretty sure you think i’m a fool for not being able to move on with whatever happened, but i can’t. you might think i’m stupid for not being able to forget, but i am trying my hardest. i don’t want to find a cure within another person, i want to find my self-worth within myself – not any other boy. i want to stop depending on boys to make me happy. i want to be happy, because i’m happy. just, leave me alone.

the sky will always be there for you - above you, sheltering you, taking care of you no matter where you stand, it will always protect you. so don't despair as you are not alone, and if you need me, you can just call me home

a long day from a long week went by so quickly;

it was a bright night,
9th day of the month
so close to the headline
there she is, so bright like a spotlight
standing high in the limelight
the centre of every eye of those who cherish
she is pretty even with the blemish
her beauty was like no other
no one soul wanted to compete with her
knowing that they’ll lose
if they try to be on the cruise

he was amazed
he had a photoshoot with her
“she looks beautiful tonight” says his heart
she whispered to him silently
asking him to look up,
giving him the reassurance that she will always be there for him amidst the darkness that he is in.
then again,
“she is as beautiful as she is”
revealing a new side of her every single night
which is why he is always and always amazed by her being
“she is beautiful
and will always be
forever
in my heart”.

i've been thinking a lot
- as always..

what would happen if i don't make it till the end of the 3 years?
who would be there for me when i fall down?
who should i go to take cover from all the stress and problems i have?
what if i can't stay as long as everyone hoped i'd be?
what about the expectations people have upon me, what do i do with it?
how do i face the face expressions of those i love when i can't give them a good cgpa (again) ?

i'm tired of feeling like a disappointment.

Home isn't anywhere I'm familiar now.
I am trying to be better.
But my tears bring headache
But it's less painful than what the heart feels
I just wish to be home but
Where is home

rollercoasters
rocky roads
bumpy rides
curvy paths
it is never easy, it will never be.

-

the religion I hold on to wholeheartedly is a religion of peace.
it's name itself,
Islam
means, peace.
our hellos and goodbyes
- Assalamualaikum,
are filled with peace.
we were taught to give away smiles as it is a form of charity.
we were told to love our brothers and sisters the way we love ourselves.
we were made to respect the old and love the young.
in our hearts, it is embedded,
the love for our Lord, Allah and His beloved Prophet Muhammad
- may peace be upon him.

yet people all around the world keeps on saying how this religion is
a religion of
terrorism
masochisme
radical
extremist
objectification
and oppression.

one good person symbolizes a community, yet not one bad person defines a community.

our era is filled with young, wise and mature people
18 and 19 years old thinkers
16 and 17 years old prodigies
all with different specialities and each one of them has its own jigsaw puzzle slot in this world.
use them, appreciate them, hear their voices, listen to what they are saying, look at what they are doing.

it is them who will take care of mother
earth in 10 years time,
it is them who will nurture the economy and the society,
it is them who will bring up the goodness in everyone until this world is great again.

thus, take good care of them.
love them, teach them well
don't burden their thoughts with ******* mentalities, wrong ideologies and more importantly
psychological trauma,
give them what they deserve

- more.