I'm sick of scratching my pupils
To get the smudges out.
I'm tired of the days being beautiful
And not flying my way
Where's the ******* rain and the crash
Of angry thunder striking clouds flat--
Where's my god, and is she listening yet?

I remember a speech that started
Off with a scream, or maybe a plea
About letting the weather
Finally agree with me.
I must be slurring the words wrong
Because I haven't heard you sing along
Since a couple sips ago.
I'm spitting remarks at your
Wretched door, but
You still won't bring the rain.

I only go on planes these days
In hopes of turbulence thrilling us
With the way your words shatter sky.
You don't know where I've been,
Trying to fly so close to you
In hopes you send me crashing--
But you've been quiet lately.
I never realized how vicious silence could be.
Still you've been too quiet lately.

I've been praying for you--
For you to cannonball out of your
Hidden heaven, flailing,
To be swallowed by the ground,
Covered in the heavy dirt and dead dreams
You left everyone else to drown in.

I've been preying for you--
For you to let your guard down
So I can rip that ******* crown from your head.
The heretic's story never told,
Unwritten in the Book I never read.

Are you really soaked in lightning above,
Or could you be hiding
Twisting in knots right here?
Because my lord I think your tongue is forked;
Crooning songs full of love, but not convincingly enough.

I've been stunted by pain
Of dodged calls and locked doors.
Who have you been loving in there
Besides me?
I'm starving for your attention.
But I'm done shouting at the sky.
It's time we speak truth to each other,
And you say those three words
I say too much, and you don't say enough
I hate you.

I'd stitch you into my side
With black ink called Forever--
I'll thread you through me wherever
And wear your name with pride.
Words in my mouth halt time and bide,
Refusing to slip out the right way ever.
Frustrating how to my lips they tether
Unless in you I choose to confide.

You taught my mind to steal beauty
And command it into word.
So I give you presents with rhyme and form
Filled with prized things stolen by yours truly.
With the power of gods and muses conferred,
I sew your name into history, Forever adorned.

I think I have bed bugs.

And I think they might be trying
To gnaw
Away
A couple layers of skin
To show me what's really concealed
Underneath.
I think they're trying to show
That something has been
Changing.

Sometimes I think I hear earwigs
Scuttle in my hair, at night
Whispering, whispering
Thoughts best left alone, that
I told myself I wouldn't hear
Anymore.

And they tell me
There's spiders
Weaving thoughts in my brain.
Connecting memories
With feelings
That don't rhyme.
"A little torment never
Hurt anyone," the earwigs say
While the spiders are cheating me
Out of a healing sleep.

I could try to squash them;
But I don't think I'm the type.
I guess they win
They can have the bed.

You'll never know what songs
I listen to now
When it's late and I'm alone.
It comforts me
And saddens me.

I've never been this involved with anyone
Or anything
That can pull me back when I least expect it.

Cutting loose feels like cutting off a limb.
It was rotting
It needed to go, but
I miss it.

I miss laying in bed
And even screaming
Because even then
I held you close.

My life lately has been
Unexpected
And lonely.
There's a lot of shouting
And apologizing
To the walls who listen
Where you would listen
Once or twice

It's just another night.
It's just another night.
It's just another nightmare.

Why would you stop watering a plant
Because a leaf or two has wilted
That doesn't make it dead yet.
Don't leave the flower ***
Empty with regret.
And if you really think it's dying,
Why wouldn't you keep the leaves from drying?

I've been thinking lately how
People are too keen to throw out
Things that aren't completely broken.
I think maybe we've all grown too wasteful.
And I think maybe you've grown too hateful.
Always on the attack, turning bitter with the winter,
I'm scared to admit this love has grown fatal.
Maybe it's just the weather...
I wish it would have stayed November forever.

Lately the people I see around
Have been all-too-focused on choking
On the ways we were told how to feel
Not all of us always let love be real.
It looks like you fell victim to the culture.

Being in love doesn't have an expiration date
I don't know who taught who that
But either way I'm tired of watching you turn around
And around, and around,
Not sure whether to go west or east.
I guess it doesn't matter,
As long as it's not with me, right?

I'm sick of you exploiting distance as a problem
Distance doesn't hold a candle to feeling
Spend some ******* time dealing with demons--
And meaning it, stop screaming at me and
Sleeping through meetings.
But most of all, understand--
That love isn't fleeting.

I want you to know that
I don't think "us" is something we can't
Be, but
I'm finally over hearing you taunt me with:
"I'm tired of watering the dead plant."

pretty names, but you have the prettiest.*
angel's white dust pushed around by
the dingy desert winds dry meadow murmurs.

heated leather seats, **** smooth leather pants
and slender, skinny beautiful body with
a name attached to it, smoke smelled
of burnt raspberries

and the conversation burned like them too,
i feel things for you and perhaps
transparently similiar damage
bleeding rubies out like sap

the conversations dripped like sap too.

All this time I've been searching
For a little bit of you
And a little bit of me
Singing in harmony.

But I found nothing good
In that boarded up mine,
Just rots and rinds
From a chewed up love.

And I think if I could lead you
Into somewhere new
I would've done it by now
I should've done it by now.
But you might be locked up
In this tired old town
That doesn't make a sound
With the rest of the maps.

It looks like you found another
A foreign lover
Or two
That makes I love you forever
Feel forever ago.
Oh why did you go?
Why does it feel like
I'm the one home alone?

How'd you steal away a world
And it make it seem so small?
Pack it down into your coat,
Shrunk with such resolve.

I don't know how you lost your way.