You are
A space
That I watched grow.
Expanding too big for words.

You are
A space
That kept things warm
During the cold year.

You are
A space
That people noticed in the room.
When you weren't there,
They always asked about you.

You are
A space
That only love occupied.
You didn't understand "bad."

You are
A space
Except now you're not
Anymore.

A heavy voice so physical
It could light the room up.
Tell me what to do, just--
Choke my neck with your voice
Drown my tongue in low whispers.
Treating me like I'm all yours--
Like I'm always yours.
Like I'm always catering to the roars
Of your voice.

Quiet sounds make their way for yours,
Spreading apart so your noises can swell.
Speak your thoughts to me,
Spit them, inspire me to move:
Weigh me down with commands
On how to look and feel.

Split them, your sounds,
And yank me in all the directions you can.
Grab me shove me *******--
Push me to the wall with your voice.
Tell me I'm yours.

Pops and cracks and a dialing tone
I wish not seeing you was a choice
But at least the real you would be better than the noise
Of your muffled message at the end of the phone
That you had choked out as an excuse to be alone.
My memory wanes with each futile call that destroys;
The empty rings grow more familiar than your voice
And the bad connection begs to be disowned.
Our last conversation is my driving thought
For calling as if I thought you'd be there
I'm holding onto things I think you should know.
Heartbeats twitch in regret over fights we fought
Impatient phone calls were your least favorite I swear,
But I'm clinging tightly to your ghost, waiting for a hello.

Do you hold certain moments of your life
On the skin of thought, so they stick out-
Like tiny sores.
Do you want to itch them, and pick them?
And dig deeper to find where they came from,
What made them ugly?
Digging only makes them uglier.
And scratching leaves bigger scars.
But the night is a mirror
And with glassy doppelgängers closing in,
Plucking at thoughts with bits of skin,
You can't leave well enough alone.

Salty ocean foam burns my lungs too well
My insides lit aflame by trembling sun
Is half the feeling of living in hell.
Devil's kissing hot breathes has just begun.
If bodies are oceans mine's drying out,
My husked-out heart has been left there to die.
I don't think kindness could quench moral drought,
So don't pity my frailty with a lie.
Fill my vessel with drips and drops of fire
Beg the sea that she'll cleanse me of this sin
But no one wants to be clean; I'm the liar.
I forget, what kind of shape am I in?
I don't have answers for feeling awful,
So find peace in the message in my bottle.

Surprised by joy—impatient as the Wind
  I turned to share the transport—O! with whom
  But Thee, deep buried in the silent tomb,
That spot which no vicissitude can find?
Love, faithful love, recall’d thee to my mind—
  But how could I forget thee? Through what power,
  Even for the least division of an hour,
Have I been so beguiled as to be blind
To my most grievous loss?—That thought’s return
  Was the worst pang that sorrow ever bore,
Save one, one only, when I stood forlorn,
  Knowing my heart’s best treasure was no more;
That neither present time, nor years unborn
  Could to my sight that heavenly face restore.

I didn't quite make it to 19
Because the bullet didn't let me.
Mom, I'm sorry for the mess, I
Know I'm old enough to
Clean up after myself.
At least I didn't waste Dad's pills.

But who's gonna feed the dog?
Who's gonna feed the dog?
Who's gonna

Is my room planning to stagnate
And stop building new memories
On my walls?
Will my bed springs ever creak again?
Would friends dial my number
Before remembering
Or forget to call just like always?

Who's gonna tell you everything's okay?
Not me, not me
Who's gonna tell you everything's okay?
Who's gonna help you make it to the next day?