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Gay times were enjoyed by all at 15 million homosexual โ€œweddingsโ€! Look for bundles of joy in 9 months! Homosexuals are baby-making machines, oh yeah!!! Learn why the genitals of males & females are different. There are 3 irrefutable reasons for this distinction, one of which is Barry Soetoro's Kenyan birth certificate. 2 women cannot make a baby? Non-lesbian Obama & pro-Obama lesbians say: Yes WE can! Could I fall in love with a lesbian and start a family? Pro-lesbian Obamas & non-Obama lesbians say: Yes WE can! Yes, WE MUST! Let's bomb from above and from below; from the nethermost camps and the uppermost regions. Let's eat meat and deliver!
[But adenoidal ache just can't be a bee bounce at half an ounce, or a slimming tactic fat folk trounce, or a ****** token shaved of its broken serrations, or merely a Red Skelton chroma key collection of sultan-green adulations. Can it? Can't it be olden Aunt Bea? Can it be, cannibal Aunt Bea? Rack me up, ***** in pockets. Oh yeah!]
I don't remember your bone being so bony? Have you had Aunt
Joan bone-reduction surgery or what? Is this your real artificial
leg? Paul McCartney loved an amputee once and now
look at her: 1.5 legs and no Beatle to sleep with.
BOWIE'S LOST LIVER - Give me David Bowie's liver or else! I can't do that! Why not?! It was cremated with the rest of him! Why would anyone do such a thing?! Because he kept company with weirdoes who didn't know the value of a malignant liver! ******* wankers!
the gas lawn mower was invented by Lon Moyer, people would lie naked on grass for days without food just to **** it.  It was really awful and lots of bad stuff happened. "Get off the wet grass you crazy nuts!" Lon ordered. "I have invented the lawn mower that will mow the lawn so expertly that you'll never have to take your clothes off again!"
that happens often and infrequently, I throw caution to the
wind and the nearest ****** through a hula hoop. It's
always crowded at Dairy Queen during ******
Month, especially after a train derailment.
that happens often and infrequently, I throw caution to the
wind and the nearest ****** through a hula hoop. It's
always crowded at Dairy Queen during ******
Month, especially after a train derailment.
to calm my slave masters into believing I'm the drug-free clean sort
who rarely embezzles, thus ensurin' annual profits fall not too short
I'd chop off  2 hands, just to handily hand them to handsome you &
I'd wipe with clean toilet paper but I ran out 'cause I'm sick with flu
& I can't go with you while I'm with you 'cause I likely hate you too
My left leg's fun too, 'cause it bends at the fun knee above one shoe
I told my raunchy Miami mistress that my stinkin' black *** matters
as my bowel movements are ****** & my *** drips & pitter patters
our noses touched like we were termites approaching each other
head-on from opposing directions in a tunnel after my large
******* and your termite-bitten toes came together in the fiery
darkness of Joe Biden's Sigmoid colon when no one was looking.
Here, take this fast-acting laxative before sitting on my stool. My oh my, your stool's softly soft. Well, that's because of a mystical stool softener that ancient carpenters used back when Jesus was touring the country. Yes, I've heard of it. It's still popular amongst bikini enthusiasts on Radio Beach in Alice Town. Yes. that's the place. Lovely weather, no snow storms or glaciers.
It was really awful and lots of bad stuff happened. "Get off the
wet grass you crazy nuts!" Lon ordered. "I have invented the
lawn mower that will mow the lawn so expertly that you'll
never have to take your clothes off again!"
โ– โ– โ– โ–  BRAVE Fraternal Order of Police Officers, who feared for their safety, tear gas & shoot to death 107-year-old man. Fraternal Order of Police Officers, who feared for their safety, shoot to death 93-year-old woman.

Tuesday 8:30-11:30 p.m. Updated: Wed 5:55 PM, May 07, 2014 ~ A 93-year-old woman is shot and killed by a police officer at her home in Hearne. Pearlie Golden was pronounced dead Tuesday night at St. Joseph Hospital. The elderly woman was rushed there after being shot by a male officer at her house on Pin Oak Street. Multiple witnesses tell us she was shot at least five times. Hearne police are not ready to say whether Golden was armed or why the officer felt threatened. "All I know is that they were called out here,โ€ said Robertson County District Attorney Coty Siegert. โ€œThey were dispatched out here to address the situation. Again, I'm not sure exactly what that situation was, but it was not a random encounter." Residents are questioning why police would shoot Golden who they described as a sweet, sweet woman. โ€œEven if she did have a gun, she is in her 90โ€™s,โ€ said Lawanda Cooke. โ€œThey could have shot in the air to scare her. Maybe she would have dropped it. I donโ€™t see her shooting anyone. Siegert says the case will eventually be presented to a Grand Jury, which is standard procedure in officer involved shootings. The Texas Rangers and Robertson County District Attorneyโ€™s Office are investigating. The Hearne Police Department says they are working on a news release. We'll bring you that information as soon as it is released.
As fun-loving, adventure-seeking children we would sing, during the bus ride home through rural Pennsylvania: โ€œWhen your ***** hit the walls like Niagara Falls, it's a rupture. It's a rupture. When you fall off a cliff and your **** hits a stick, it's a rupture. It's a rupture.โ€
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My inner turds are
struggling to be free,
free to be my outer turds
or
struggling to join their
outer **** brothers,
born of an
earlier
movement

THE ROPE
I thought that the rope was too tight,
but you know how rope salesmen are ...
โœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑ­โ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟ­โœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟโŠฑโ•ฎโœฟ
Cancer can't be fought with a solid resolve, with a positive outlook, with prayer, with laughter; by freezing, cutting, burning and poisoning tumorous tissue. Cancerous cells are trophoblastic/placental/pre-embryonic. They are created to heal damage. When the healing task is complete the process (of healing) is halted with cyanide-rich amygdalin (B17).๏ปฟ
I'm more Oprah than Gayle, so 1 day, when my โ€œhusbandโ€ came home from being a lesbian I decided to kiss โ€œhimโ€ on the lips. He, naturally, couldn't stand the blood-constricting **** strap so I gave him a million dollars from the winning lottery ticket that I stole from his uncle's neighbor. Don't stop kissing me because I'm a morbidly obese, alcoholical lesbian *****! I need mucho perverted marriage-equality understanding now!๏ปฟ
(and deliberately and other words that mean the same thing)

To the shore I will row when my boat has a hole bigger
than a vole. I will butter my bread till the butter's ex-
hausted, like Pinocchio was when he got jaundice.
Being married to you is like plugging drains too big to staunch.

Being married to you is like fishing for clams with a ski mask.

Being married to you is like eating strawberries with my uncle.

Being married to you is like killing 2 ****** birds.

Being married to you is like stiffening up for a neighbor woman who's seldom neighborly.

Being married to you is like paying first-class-ticket prices for economy-class flights to Disappointment City.
INTERNET: On October 19, 1982, Paul America was killed by a car while walking home from a dental appointment in Ormond Beach, Florida.

~ I can't find where (in Ormond Beach) Paul America was run down.
I carefully aimed 6 of my 12 machine guns with the realization that
wealthy white men desire young, skinny women & not old, fat ones
KERSEY MILLER is a mercy-killer who delivers merciful killing to people who are eager to be killed. But not me! I want to laugh, dance, prance & sing. I want to dress like Michael Jackson and beat the **** out of Tito. I want to hide behind Oprah at the airport. I want it all because women crave abortions and leather shoes come from cows and linoleum is made of linseed oil and pig-blood. This is our world and I have no urge to lean over the Grand Canyon where there's no railing.

MARGE is a big lesbian with a heart of gold who warned Clara 23 minutes before it was too late: "You'll never out-run a wild hill-bear in that flimsy wheel-chair!" But Clara wouldn't listen because she had a big bug up her bony **** or something I guess. "The next lesbian who tells me that she can out-run a bear will find my hairy foot six inches up her ******!" Marge exclaimed with big-hearted tears in her eyes.

EASE YOUR ******-GERBIL OUT because I'm going to tell you about a new camper trailer that I just bought for 500 dollars that has 12 upper floors that will make you think that you're camping in the Empire State Building. It has 34 master bedrooms with 17 fold-out ****-wash stations (and ****-rinse facilities). This is the most spectacular way to live ever in the whole world! You'll want to dig up O.J. Simpson's corpse and eat it without ketchup after you spend 4 minutes in the kitchen! Hurry up before it's too late to help you!

WHAT'S WRONG LARRY? Well, as you know, my birth-name is Larry ****** and I've taken a lot of ribbing for it: in the army; at work; in the bedroom while having normal *** with a neighbor. Yes? Well, I'm finally going to do something about it! Are you changing your name? Yes. By Tuesday I won't be Larry ******  anymore, I'll be Gary ******.
I lost 1 eye as a corvรฉe in the Third Servile War, 2,000 years before
William Denny & Brothers built the Jaguar on River Leven's shore
where 56 freckled bikini girls frolicked in sunshine on a bikini tour
to attract welcomed attention for bikini attributes untouched by war
I was knockin' back icy, Iron City brewskies & havin' lesbian flings
after curing my chronic arthritis with the toxin of paper wasp stings
I was eager to know how the Pope strung love's curative bee strings
It's time that "atheists" found a more pious man to worship as, in print, eugenical zealot Richard Dawkins extols the virtues of pederasty (as he's experienced it), de-population, infanticide, vaccines (including M.M.R. contaminated with rabbit blood), expanding hate crime (thought crime) legislation & pre-emptive war. Dawkins pursues the socialistic goals of Bertrand Russell, G. B. Shaw & ****-muffin Charles Darwin.
with a big mason jar of fake squirrel scrotums in peroxide. "What's that?!" The prettiest woman at the party asks. "Squirrel scrotums!" You exclaim with manly confidence which compels her to reply: "Even though I'm a committed lesbian with many years of experience, the fact that you brought squirrel scrotums in peroxide to a party makes me want to engage in *** with you freely." Later, after you ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด, you tell her that the squirrel scrotums are fake to which she responds: "I don't care. Being with you has turned me into an ex-lesbian forever. I want to become a Christian now and live in a nice house that's NOT made of oriented strand board."
with a big mason jar of fake squirrel scrotums in peroxide. "What's that?!" The prettiest woman at the party asks. "Squirrel scrotums!" You exclaim with manly confidence which compels her to reply: "Even though I'm a committed lesbian with many years of experience, the fact that you brought squirrel scrotums in peroxide to a party makes me want to engage in *** with you freely." Later, after you ๐˜ฑ๐˜ข๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ฉ๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ด, you tell her that the squirrel scrotums are fake to which she responds: "I don't care. Being with you has turned me into an ex-lesbian forever. I want to become a Christian now and live in a nice house that's NOT made of oriented strand board."
A year from here I hope to proclaim (after processing): โ€œI knocked up my girlfriend. It was my happy obligement. I would've knocked you up too, but you're too self-involvedโ€
   Ahhh, my distant past: eating monkey burgers at Montgomery Ward, kissing ******* fallen by ****** bullets, slipping on a Trojan before visiting granny (in case I get lucky).

I was so mystified by dumb tricks & tired of your busy labels, that I
farted a final, tired **** at the Christmas tree 'neath the kitchen table
with my girl whose able ****'s cuntier than the **** of Betty Grable๏ปฟ
WHEN KYLE ENTERED THE BEDROOM at 7 o'clock Betty's intestines tingled and became inflamed with passion. It was like a thorough ****-probe by a navy doctor. "Oh Kyle, if that's your real name, my romantic passion for you is so intense that I could rub the husks off a burlap sack of walnuts with my labials for you!" Betty intoned slavishly. "Of course my name's Kyle you dumb ****!" Kyle fired back uncaringly.
You should always beg for pity while projecting pathetic
uncertainty. Play dumb. Bathe infrequently. Puke
after meals. Puke between meals. Puke and
bathe and be all that you can be. Be an
army of one. Bleach your hair.
Join a cult. Sacrifice a Pygmy.
Hello! I'm Big Mike Jackson, Senior Professor of Lesbianism at South Lesbian University in Lesbian, Florida and I'm here today to discuss lesbianism. Most non-lesbians are in the dark when it comes to lesbianism and would rather ignore the practice. I would like to tell you the story of Martha, a senior lesbian with 65 years of lesbian experience under her bath robe. When she was a teen lesbian, lesbianism was illegal and punishable by 4 years in an all-lesbian prison. Several of Martha's neighbors were lesbians and nobody knew about it (except the chief of police who was also a lesbian, so he didn't rat them out). 1 day, at the lesbian shampoo factory, a "smart" meter exploded killing 12 lesbian shampoo bottlers. What is lesbian shampoo anyway? Lesbian shampoo is an exotic blend of "pro-lesbian" ingredients that will leave your hair feeling vibrant and homosexually inclined. Don't worry though, because the feeling is only temporary. Between shampoos, use Big Frank's Lesbian Conditioner to keep your hair soft and manageable.
NO MORE ****** SURGERY FOR ME! Are those
Nig McConnell lights? Yes, I just ordered them
from the Nig McConnell factory. They're
beautiful, especially the reflections they
make. Thanks. No one makes lights like
Nig McConnell. He certainly was a
great man. Indeed. He had a flare
for light-making. My mother
knew his cousin Nirge
McConnell. Really? I'd
give my left arm pit to
meet a relative of
Nig McConnell.
JACKSONVILLE -- A man who was taken into custody by a S.W.A.T. team on Fri. (9-13-13) was found dead in his hospital bed at U.F. Health at Jacksonville Mon. morning. Though he was restrained, David Bush, 61, is believed to have strangled himself with a cord from the wall attached to the call button, according to Jacksonville Sheriff's Office Chief Annie Smith. After being taken into custody on Friday for Possession of a Firearm by a Convicted Felon, Bush was taken to U.F. Health under the Baker Act for potentially being a danger to himself. Smith said Bush had a history of mental health and substance abuse problems, as well as a past criminal history. G4S is contracted by J.S.O. to monitor inmates in the hospital and Bush was to be checked on every 15 minutes. Smith said J.S.O. is still in the preliminary stages of their investigation and needs to monitor the security logs and interview those who were monitoring Bush. Smith said no foul play is suspected at this time.

Concerning crimes of homosexuals, from FEMINISTE: The Justice Department reports that prison **** accounted for the majority of all rapes committed in the U.S. in 2008, making the United States the first country in the history of the world to count more rapes for men than for women.

It's societally suicidal to empower perverts by legalizing *******
******* great-granny to spite grandma is grand criminal diversion
Burning Bibles while wolfing salted pork ain't religious conversion
Napalming Fallujahan infants is a prosecutable war crime incursion


B.B.C. news article: "...Bin Laden left Saudi Arabia in 1979 to fight against the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. The Afghan jihad was backed with American dollars and had the blessing of the governments of Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. He received security training from the C.I.A. Itself."๏ปฟ
Papa, might we hear witch Beyoncรฉ's โ€œFull-Grown Womanโ€ song?
It's late, the phone booths are broke & common-core math is wrong
While Liz queen's high on Miller life that's the Jack Daniel's of gin,
her rotting, Goyish kop's stuffed with ***** sea's canned tuna in tin
& afflicts the bumps of 2 knees, the rear of 1 calf plus a lateral shin
what hobbles acquaintances, hangers-on, unchallenged kith and kin
who romp with Parisienne pikes in defiance of hourly Earthen spin,
slaving for grubs, shaving with mud, pricking boiled *** with a pin
God punishes the demerits of evil, in pop parlance it's known as sin
among dipsomaniacs who find solace in games sober folk can't win
with Richard Burton's *****-hard hurtin' the keenest fish part's a fin
as long as chokes & wheezes World War 2 jingoist crone Vera Lynn
who fitfully forked it over faithlessly to *****-banging Errol Flynn
when gonorrheal precautions before penicillin remained unforgiven
as sailors were hard-scrabble calloused & unbelievably ****-driven
to the extreme of ****** big-boobed teens causing a hue and cry din
from a he-man who pushed off a ledge his homosexy Siamese twin
whose lard-*** detracted from the beauty of his physique when thin
prompting one heart-felt smile to degenerate into one heartless grin
that, like a foot in a meat grinder, loses functionality with each spin
enough to drown an Oscar fish in a moldy tank with a bitten-off bin
along with a burlap sack sacking Kitty-Kitty's beyond-C.P.R. kitten
with no loftier a mortal depth than dug by H.G. Wells' mole people,
I open gaily the homosexual-loving church by wrecking the steeple
as diving off  a dung heap half pooped pops an unground, deep pill
that's more tranquilizing than barbituric acid at keeping a creep still
while claiming bankruptcy so as to stiff a shepherd of my sheep bill
I suffer strange spells of vomiting and tiredness when terminally ill
While it is safer breathing under the water water through a fish gill,
I need to uplift my **** before straining through my balaena sea krill
THE SOUTHERN
WALLOF ICE IS:

somewhere to go; somewhere else; somewhere where men
are men and women are too: flopping around, growing
out their hair, wearing enormous condoms.
John Lennon didn't look well throughout 1980. I often thought that his "voluntary" retirement to the status of house-husband was medically related, which might explain why he was hurriedly cremated. [The smoking of vegetative matter is deleterious to the respiratory system.]
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