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"Jesus God! Your *******'s ice-cold! Let's get you into a ***** house immediately!" Bill Clinton exclaimed when he was governor, before he became president. "That's okay, my scrotal pocket will warm to room temperature in no time," Joe Biden assured the crowd at the community pool. "I don't know," Big Mike Obama chimed in, "a cold nut-bag is nothing to play with."
He laughed his final **** & farted his latest laugh, after entertaining worthless nurses of the medical staff. I ate corn dogs at the big baseball game, but without your ugly mug it just wasn't the same. I told your dear friends that you had suddenly died while giving ****** bucks a bucking-good ride. Your body was a body that garnered easy alliances, to folks laying away new G.E. appliances. You suffered alone from a disease of the brain that denied you the comfort of dying insane. I saw you grovel like Frank Sinatra before a mobster over a plate of  fishy seafood that included Maine lobster. I saddled a horse and tightened my **** strap, kicked you in the left kidney and roostered a **** trap. Your feet are lovely and I respect you truly. I promised Charles Manson that I'd never treat you cruelly. I love you more intensely than Churchill loved Adolf ******, 'cause your high pressure washer made my sprayed *** sore. At the horse track I boozed shakily and bet some before drunkenly, with you, making my goose a wet one. While lounging on loungers in the camps of campers, I realized that I'd forgot to change yesterday's Pampers. My swollen feet & infected ****** gave me away as a man whose Bruce Jenner appeal marked him as gay. I tried to shake off the thirst I could not slake, by eating a lady bug, a kitten & a common black snake. My mind was failing, lifted from a roadside gutter, as I vomited gobs of grape jelly & Jiffy peanut butter. Women scare me, especially those who cross dress as pirates & truck-driving teamsters with teeth more or less. I never thought it sanitary to swim in a sanitary sewer as my vision dims and my days alive grow fewer. I held your paw while you were being examined, de-clawed & de-flead, your fleas smashed with a hammer. Please forgive me my coarse language, my exposed hairy shin, my lower hanging lug nut what led you to sin.
He laughed his final **** & farted his latest laugh, after entertaining worthless nurses of the medical staff. I ate corn dogs at the big baseball game, but without your ugly mug it just wasn't the same.
Be brutally enthralled by my caustical wit & aggressive manner. Chew on my figs & climb my broken ladder.
โ€œTurn off the gas valves. I'm coming home in a wiener truck!โ€
   โ€œAlright, I'll have your guns loaded & *****-trapped to **** you.โ€
   โ€œThanks Marge. I'm probably going to change my ****** orientation 17 times between here & Monroeville.โ€
   โ€œSounds good. Eat a chipmunks that looks like me.โ€
   โ€œI will.โ€
โ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐ
โ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐโ˜ค โœ โšฐ
The simple truth gets my simplified answer, not knockin' up a ****
like you're in France poor or fancier than Nancy tore open on a bike
before losin' a lost leg lost in a fall over Niagara Falls on a fall hike
with tricky **** Nixon's 3rd grandson who looks like President Ike
Hi Gloria, I'm in the family way, time to get a job handling cat crap
'cause I'd never hang on demon-crone Steinem the ****-******* rap
while she's ******* to infanticidal chaos magick like a moaning ***
My 115 personalities don't crash with cracked-up loser Sybil whose
furry *** wins love in the dark, 2 sips of cream in a bowl of kibble
Nights are brightened in the straw bed of a Port-a-Piment Negress
whose slatted windows & wired-shut door stop white-flight egress
of a fat ***** in the taboo throes of miscegenating ****** congress
Gentleman Jim
Jim Carrey
Cary Grant
Grant Tinker
Tinker Bell
Bell South
South Dakota
Dakota Wesleyan University
University of Washington
Washington Irving
Irving Berlin
Berlin Wall
Wall Street
street smart
smart phone
phone home
home boy
Boy George
George Martin
Martin Luther King
King Richard
Richard Henry Lee
Lee Meriwether
Meriwether Lewis
Lewis Black
black board
board walk
walk and chew gum at the same time
time zone
Zone 7
7-Up
Up in Smoke
"Smoke Gets in Your Eyes"
Eyes of Laura Mars
Mars Attacks
attacks of opportunity
Opportunity Knocks
knocks-box
box elder
elder care
care home
Home Alone 3
Three Came Home
Home Alone
Alone in the Dark
dark energy
Energy Impact Illinois
Illinois Secretary of State
State of the Union
Union Pacific
Pacific Ocean
Ocean Futures Society
Society for Neuroscience
Neuroscience Department
Department of Transportation
Transportation Science
Science Daily
Daily Telegraph
Telegraph Brewery
Brewery Gulch Inn
Inn At Leola Village
Village Inn
Inn At Key West
West Virginia
Virginia Hunter
Hunter S. Thompson
Thompson submachine gun
gun control
Control Group
group in the periodic table
Table on Ten
Ten Little *******
******* in the Woodpile
Woodpile Report
DON'T JUST DON'T! Our romance was like an apple tree in an avalanche with artificial monkeys in it. We kissed too soon at your mother's funeral when everyone was watching us. That's why I can never look at a dead crone again with the same lust and desire.
I know what rejection is
I know that when my African-American
boyfriend says NO that he means YES
I know that stealing is wrong
when you get caught
I cried when you took my purse after buying for me a better purse. I felt my internal organs and they felt okay. I looked into the bomb crater and your uncle was gone, just like that. Here today, gone tomorrow. I hope that everything works out soon for you because you have a bowel problem. Please have my luggage destroyed. I can't face the
responsibility of asking the garbage man for help a second time.
โ€œDaddy. and Daddy's **** girlfriend, where did I come from?โ€
โ€œSon, you came from your Mommy's tummy.โ€
โ€œHow did I get there?โ€
โ€œI don't know.โ€
I was eating corn flakes with 7 Arab women when Saddam Hussein
arrived with 32 gallons of cold camel milk near the end of his reign
to make our dry cereal taste better & to ease our U.S.-embargo pain
{New, informative medical feature}
Question #1. How does food make it out my ***?
   --- Answer: The food you eat: grubs, worms, bees, hornets
or toads, plummets to the stomach where it gets swished
around & liquefied then, as slop, travels through your food
& **** pipes to eventually slurp out your ***.

   Q. #2. How can I get people to stop throwing rocks at me?
   --- A.: There are several blood types: A, B, AB & O.
Check w/the Red Cross to see if they'll pay you.

   Q. #3. Can I get v.d. from a bachelor?
   --- A.: No. I've never heard of anybody contracting v.d.
from a bachelor, least not in the good ol' U.S.A.

   Q. #4. Will Bob Hope never die?
   --- A.: The *******'s a 100 & can't last much longer.
   Update: the buzzard went belly up in 2003, praise be to Allah.
For General Robert E. & Captain Henry โ€œLight Horse Harryโ€ Lee I
whip out my Jackson to **** 17 soufflรฉ cups of job drug-testing ***
The weather was mild to moderate when the sexiest woman in the world approached me from the rear. My rear guard was down, but I had a hand grenade.
Is my lesbian closet empty as I ******* like a ******? As I ******* like a lame Detroit ****** in heat? Am I under mortal Comanche threat from paganly-merciless...

TERROR ******* OF THE DEEP? [Terror ******* of the deep have exceeded the depth of Russia's Kola Super Deep Bore Hole.]
   O.T.M.A. remains scotched & scorched, dismembered & lapsed, yet Mashka & Tashka are the 2 (or the 1's) I love. Scars aren't prone to bleeding. Wounds bleed. Scars are healed wounds. Do horse-breeders die in horse-breeding accidents? [I know her by a stage name, my angel in funny dress. Will she let me kiss her belly button? I can only guess.] I'm too stupid to mean stuff that's the opposite of the stupid stuff I say. Putrid things rot fast, flushing shallow. Let's do the fun parts of suicide that make suicide fun.
She is my ****** ***** with a ***** on a logo that's a hobo who is
loco, dressed in a red rococo dress, eating tuna-fish salad at Sunoco
I was just there wherever, doin' nothing overtly skinless when I saw
this scruffy dog with a nastily-productive T.B. cough, crapping on a
bench. I sniffed him from an angle, peed on him & gaily trotted off.
No ***** bone wants ***** old as through history it has been shown
that a man wants to knock up a fair maiden, not a mother or a crone
Which end of it do you want? I want the bitter end of it because the
bitter end of it is where nothing is, when doll Barbie toys with Ken.
It is wrong to ****** men, who were in the Olympics, with hollow-
point bullets, Bowie knives, caustic ash or Eric Idle's pointed sticks
Our precious love was like a golf ball made of gum bands & plastic
& I only beat you with golf clubs 'cause you are a ******-up spastic
I announce my presence & all my fans clutch their chests in fear for
the ******* who run to ***** gynecologists for a cervical pap smear
I once realized my *** & gender, I used to know it so well, but now
when I look, with a magnifying glass at my crotch, I really can't tell
Hey, my big-trowel groove bent my memorial pig-bowel movement
This big friendship is all about giving, so give me both corneas & a
kidney or 2, as I'm in need of ****** parts friendily taken out of you
She caught my eye & I have no doubt that this nice, lovely lady is a
good scout, as my right eyeball's glass & sometimes it does pop out
& bounce about a bit but not enough to crush ******* kidney failure
for your average Brian Epstein-esque rough-tradin' Liverpool sailor
who prides himself a frothy/milk thing, 574 **** bigger than frontier
Poland's bravest Indian, Chief Brave ****, the Cherokee ****** king
told Keef & Woody that Raj India's ***** songs are not easy to sing๏ปฟ


**"a **** nixes *** in Tulsa" Read it backwards...It's palindromical...
Treating cancer with radiation is no more effective than slaking one's thirst with cataria. Neil Armstrong and his partners-in-crime were born in the 1920's & '30's. Virtually every member of their generation has cataracts. We need viable spacecraft, not movie props, to send men on interplanetary missions.

There's no acceptable rationale to explain the deeds & misdeeds of the insane.
"A non-health-care-provided abortion" & "A woman-educated physician" & "Anti-choice extremists..." Oh boy! My God! He murdered 60,000 children, but his bigger crime was that he sure did talk funny.
That's an impressive 240 terrorists per hour and 87,600 terrorists per year! If each terrorist crashed 2 planes into landmark buildings that would be 175,200 landmarks damaged or destroyed annually!๏ปฟ
...a fat woman farts in the distance as 13 muscle-bound Haitian Negroes apply for E.B.T. cards after watching a dozen ****** with loose morals dance in underpants at a bus stop while several healthy dogs are treated for fleas & ticks at the "animal shelter" before being gassed to death.
โ€œWhat'cha lookin' at?โ€; โ€œWhat do you mean, what am I looking at?โ€; โ€œHey! Climb down off my ***! I just asked!โ€; โ€œOkay. I'm looking at the floor.โ€; โ€œYeah, me too.โ€
โ€œWhat'cha lookin' at?โ€; โ€œWhat do you mean, what am I looking at?โ€; โ€œHey! Climb down off my ***! I just asked!โ€; โ€œOkay. I'm looking at the floor.โ€; โ€œYeah, me too.โ€

Our ****** love will not be the subject of gossippers. Toby held his thrill-hammer while Monica applied the petroleum jelly. โ€œThat feels better Monica. I have the hot water and rags.โ€
We must be hoodwinked & lured into demeaning one another through the dogmatic strictures of animalism/animalitarianism ("atheism") in order: to deny Spiritualism; to wage total war; to value animal life above human life; to commit clinician-assisted ****** by aborticide; to befoul the water with fluoride and pediatric serums with mercury; to becloud the air with aluminum oxide via military tanker jets; to burn tumorous growths with x-rays; to subject our hearts to allopathic diagnostics namely radioactive dyes & Adrenalin-based stress tests; to venerate amoral men.
Martha Raye's shortness was not by luckless fate but because of her
leglessness state, irked by 4 diabetical comas that killed her too late
One must lack humility to truly believe such rot. "Atheists" are in desperate need of attention. "Atheism" is on the rise as test scores fall and fathers abandon their children. "Atheism" = Stalinism. Please pay attention to America's beltless youth as they jump up and down proclaiming their "atheism"!
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