𝗕𝗨𝗬 𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗙𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗟 𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗚𝗘𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗘𝗖𝗢𝗡𝗗 𝗙𝗨𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗟 𝗛𝗢𝗠𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥 𝗙𝗥𝗘𝗘! 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘄'𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲! 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗙𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗛𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝘂𝘆 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝗻𝗲. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀? 𝗕𝘆 𝗯𝘂𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝘂𝗹𝗸. 𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝘆𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝘀𝗰𝗿𝘂𝗯 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗿𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗽 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗮𝗿. 𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗕𝗼𝗯 𝗪𝗶𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲𝘀: "𝗠𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘂𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗹𝘆, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝘂𝘆 𝗮 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲. 𝗕𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗙𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗛𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘆. 𝗛𝗲 𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗯𝘂𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝗻𝗲, 𝘀𝗼 𝗜 𝗷𝘂𝗺𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆! 𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝗳𝗲'𝘀 𝗽𝘂𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗴𝘂𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝘂𝘁. 𝗜𝘁 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗜'𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝘂𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘁𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗼𝗻."

was like any Tuesday, even though it was Saturday. I had just shaved my legs when there was a knock on the door. It was a tattooist, and he was drunk. "What is it?" I asked through a cracked window. "I'm here to replace your tattoo," he answered. "Replace my tattoo?" I repeated. "Yes, yours has expired. I have a new one and it won't cost you a thing," he assured me. "That sounds wonderful. Come on in!" I exclaimed enthusiastically. He got to work immediately: removing my expired tattoo with a potato peeler, staunching blood with a shop rag, kissing me on the lips as I screamed in terror. "There! All done!"  He bellowed, proud of himself. "How much?" I sobbed. "Absolutely nothing! My reward is your happiness!"; "Well, I'm not very happy now because I'm in tremendous pain," I whimpered between moans. "Chin up. The pain will pass. I have to go now."; "Wait! I have 2 more expired tattoos."; "Do you want me to replace them now?"; "Yes, if you don't mind."

was like any Tuesday, even though it was Saturday. I had just shaved my legs when there was a knock on the door. It was a tattooist, and he was drunk. "What is it?" I asked through a cracked window. "I'm here to replace your tattoo," he answered. "Replace my tattoo?" I repeated. "Yes, yours has expired. I have a new one and it won't cost you a thing," he assured me. "That sounds wonderful. Come on in!" I exclaimed enthusiastically. He got to work immediately: removing my expired tattoo with a potato peeler, staunching blood with a shop rag, kissing me on the lips as I screamed in terror. "There! All done!"  He bellowed, proud of himself. "How much?" I sobbed. "Absolutely nothing! My reward is your happiness!"; "Well, I'm not very happy now because I'm in tremendous pain," I whimpered between moans. "Chin up. The pain will pass. I have to go now."; "Wait! I have 2 more expired tattoos."; "Do you want me to replace them now?"; "Yes, if you don't mind."

L.B.J. went to Appalachia to see the way poor people ate nutrient-free grain every day. He saw rats used as carrier pigeons when the phones were out and meat soaked in vinegar when its botulism-status was in doubt. He saw it all: the decline of popery and the revilement of law that caused a huge increase in shoplifting at Westmoreland Mall.

HOW TO TREAT DEAD SECTIONS OF YOUR NECK [Sorry, but I like my popes really ****. But hey! That's just me.] - When you're alone or by yourself is the best time to treat dead sections of your neck. Take my hand and together we'll become hand buddies, always eager to lend a hand. Take my foot. Look at how many toes are on it. Feel the magic of my other foot. Drink the wine that flows from my winery of ecstasy like when a soldier returns after a war to kiss you passionately on the lips when you're not looking at him.

𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘃𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗻 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗯𝗶𝗴 𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗵𝗲'𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗮𝘃𝘆 𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗲'𝘀 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝘁
𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘆. 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺! 𝗛𝗮𝗿𝗹𝗼𝘁
𝗖𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆 𝗦𝗶𝗺𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗯𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗯𝗶𝗴 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝘄𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻
𝗯𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗮 𝗯𝗶𝗴-𝗹𝗶𝗽 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗮 𝗯𝗶𝗴-𝗹𝗶𝗽 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻.

Dancing with Jail-Bait; The Joys of Heart Disease; Cooking with Squirrel-Meat; The Intellectual Depth of Oprah; Beneficial Porcine Flu Serums; The ******-Allure of Rosie O'Donnell; Charitable Prostitutes; ****** Wives into Hygiene; Diapered Fashion Plates; Knowledgeable Atheists; N.A.S.A.'s Dedication to the Truth; Young Women Without Tattoos; Economically-Successful Collectivism; The Rationality of the Mind Female; Dainty Grizzly Bears; The Late Michael Jackson: At the Left Hand of God; Monogamous Western Women; Trustworthy Clerics; Surviving Hospice; David Carradine's Closet-Saving-Space Tips; Surviving Cremation; Snazzy Chazzy Bono's Chic Unisexual Fashion Pointers; Surviving Abortion; Capping Your Urinary Output with 33 Easy Steps; Sissies in *******; Pimples in Paradise; Languishing on a Pig Farm; Rednecks in Medical School; Health Benefits of Imbibing Sodium Fluoride as Provided in the Public Water Supply; Prudent Moves Among Central Bankers; Beautiful Women Who Manage Turnpike Traffic; Negroes in Hot Rods

Substitutions, approximations & affiliations make my flat **** tired
among the countless ***** bank kiddies my "donations" have sired
with mucked up & mired résumé-writers happily ****** up & fired
who reject the notion that a Dutchman'll never quit a job once hired
We march in jackboots to combat the foot ball neuromas of Morton
that force us on long marches to stop, cut, soak our heels & shorten
the queer couplin' betwixt Gavin Gordon & Edward Everett Horton

“Autism rates in the U.S. went from 0.1% (1 in 1,000) in the early 1990s to 0.9% (1 in 110) between 1999 and 2006, to 1.5% (1 in 68) in 2014, to 2.8% (1 in 36) in 2023.” ― Paul Thomas, 𝘝𝘢𝘹 𝘍𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴: 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘉𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘝𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘈𝘨𝘦𝘴 & 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦

“Autism rates in the U.S. went from 0.1% (1 in 1,000) in the early 1990s to 0.9% (1 in 110) between 1999 and 2006, to 1.5% (1 in 68) in 2014, to 2.8% (1 in 36) in 2023.” ― Paul Thomas, 𝘝𝘢𝘹 𝘍𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴: 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘉𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘝𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘈𝘨𝘦𝘴 & 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦

BECOME A ***** RIGHTS AGITATOR! It's a career with a great future! Increased ***** unrest leads to a dangerous increase in blatant and flagrant ***** uppitiness and arrogant ***** sass-back! Become a student ***** rights agitator today and receive a free tote bag from Princess Cruise Lines that's personally autographed by Ted Lange who played Isaac the bartender on 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑩𝒐𝒂𝒕.

made Kelly's *** tired. "I have to pilot my 50-million-dollar chopper to Freemont at five," she told Mary, her passionate ex-lesbian lover. Later, after a full tube of lubricant got rubbed off, Kelly took a second dose of Trycoxagain to show Gary that her ex-lesbianism was not weakened by a 14-hour ex-*** ***-tryst with Mary.