SEE WHAT REAL MEN ARE MADE OF at the autopsy exhibit. Food, fun and beer-swigging for all ticket-holders! Don't sit in the rain when you can be enjoying family-friendly Viet Cong-style executions! **** a ****** for mommy while large badgers claw at your entrails! Deep-throat a "big one" in a bread truck! ***** mysterious women with no clothes on! It's all for charity: Saint Jude's Cancer Torture Hospital!

SEE WHAT REAL MEN ARE MADE OF at the autopsy exhibit. Food,
fun and beer-swigging for all ticket-holders! Don't sit in the rain when
you can be enjoying family-friendly Viet Cong-style executions! **** a
****** for mommy while large badgers claw at your entrails! Deep-
throat a "big one" in a bread truck! ***** mysterious women with no
clothes on! It's all for charity: Saint Jude's Cancer Torture Hospital!

Leaning back on this toilet, praying for a miracle, eating a gold fish
while controlling the more eager of ready broads is an age-old wish
as it's a gynecological lost cause to warm a menopausally-cold dish

I'm flying away (airplane not to scale).

I'm flying away (airplane not to scale).

The in-bed birth of Fred Buttsworth: Fred's dead I see at 93. He had
a wife in Australia who loved to dance until Fred took her from her
dad's frog farm in the God-forsaken reaches of V.D.-ridden France.

Leaning back on this toilet, praying for a miracle, eating a gold fish
while controlling the more eager of ready broads is an age-old wish
as it's a gynecological lost cause to warm a menopausally-cold dish

Tammy, we'll live as individuals, not as congregants
to far-fetched, monkeyed philosophies.

Live as an individual and not as a congregant
to a far-fetched, monkeyed philosophy.

Tammy, we'll live as individuals, not as congregants*
*to far-fetched, monkeyed philosophies.

ON THE ROAD TO RETALIATION is transported milk through cat ducts. My swamp pit was pre-menstrually boggy, as we per-formed with kitty stylishly doggy. Me need linguistical instruction with outlining sentences in Urdu. I have many names. Indians know me as Moon Beam.

⚪────────────────
⚪────────────────────────
◄◄⠀▐▐ ⠀►►⠀⠀ ⠀ 0:00 / 3:46 ⠀ ───○ 🔊⠀ ᴴᴰ ⚙ ❐ ⊏⊐
The night that my teeth were stolen. I woke up and they were gone. There was a lot of blood on the sheets. I called the police and told them and they asked: “Did they steal your genitals too?” to which I answered, “I don't have genitals.”

Onto my stump I rub expensive aloe vera stump cream
before and after swimming in an icy mountain stream
'cause I don't want to be on the stumpy jungle-rot team

Onto my stump I rub expensive aloe vera stump cream
before and after swimming in an icy mountain stream
'cause I don't want to be on the stumpy jungle-rot team

Onto my stump I rub expensive aloe vera stump cream
before and after swimming in an icy mountain stream
'cause I don't want to be on the stumpy jungle-rot team.

Onto my stump I rub expensive aloe vera stump cream
before and after swimming in an icy mountain stream
'cause I don't want to be on the stumpy jungle-rot team

Don't touch me! I just had Japanese breast implants.

Just in case you want to sue let me correct failing parts of your face
with injectable botulism food poisoning & sand-based silicone glue
after I probe your ****** like an obstetrician whose patients are few
in number & big in faulty mitral valves that render normal lips blue
in number & big in prolapsed mitral valves that turn ready lips blue
on O.P.M., *****, oh *** hem, Opie stem, spiced in scale-red stew
cooked by nit-wits psychologically dim-witted by the Nancy School
way back when being that way was the way that kings chose to rule
as thrills evaporated in watery places & pushy ditzes had much pull

Just in case you want to sue let me correct failing parts of your face
with injectable botulism food poisoning & sand-based silicone glue
after I probe your ****** like an obstetrician whose patients are few
in number & big in faulty mitral valves that render normal lips blue
in number & big in prolapsed mitral valves that turn ready lips blue
on O.P.M., *****, oh *** hem, Opie stem, spiced in scale-red stew
cooked by nit-wits psychologically dim-witted by the Nancy School
way back when being that way was the way that kings chose to rule
as thrills evaporated in watery places & pushy ditzes had much pull

Don't touch me! I just had Japanese breast implants.

Just in case you want to sue let me correct failing parts of your face
with injectable botulism food poisoning & sand-based silicone glue
after I probe your ****** like an obstetrician whose patients are few
in number & big in faulty mitral valves that render normal lips blue
in number & big in prolapsed mitral valves that turn ready lips blue
on O.P.M., *****, oh *** hem, Opie stem, spiced in scale-red stew
cooked by nit-wits psychologically dim-witted by the Nancy School
way back when being that way was the way that kings chose to rule
as thrills evaporated in watery places & pushy ditzes had much pull

Just in case you want to sue let me correct failing parts of your face
with injectable botulism food poisoning & sand-based silicone glue
after I probe your ****** like an obstetrician whose patients are few
in number & big in faulty mitral valves that render normal lips blue
in number & big in prolapsed mitral valves that turn ready lips blue
on O.P.M., *****, oh *** hem, Opie stem, spiced in scale-red stew
cooked by nit-wits psychologically dim-witted by the Nancy School
way back when being that way was the way that kings chose to rule
as thrills evaporated in watery places & pushy ditzes had much pull

The most painful place to get a tattoo is Ormond Beach, Florida.*  

*Don't touch me! I just had Japanese breast implants.

Just in case you want to sue let me correct failing parts of your face
with injectable botulism food poisoning & sand-based silicone glue
after I probe your ****** like an obstetrician whose patients are few
in number & big in faulty mitral valves that render normal lips blue
in number & big in prolapsed mitral valves that turn ready lips blue
on O.P.M., *****, oh *** hem, Opie stem, spiced in scale-red stew
cooked by nit-wits psychologically dim-witted by the Nancy School
way back when being that way was the way that kings chose to rule
as thrills evaporated in watery places & pushy ditzes had much pull

Just in case you want to sue let me correct failing parts of your face
with injectable botulism food poisoning & sand-based silicone glue
after I probe your ****** like an obstetrician whose patients are few.

Hey, dealin­g & leading are anagrams, just like ginger and the N-word. Yes, I know. My father was a dipsomaniac which means he drank ***** uncontrollably till he got cirrhosis of the liver and crapped-out. How old was he? Old enough, I guess.

EDITS: On page 7, paragraph 6, I changed: "Toby realized that it was time to wake up and smell the used toilet paper" to "...coffee." On page 19, bottom of paragraph 3: I replaced "dog turds" with "money" in the statement: "Helen spent dog turds like a drunken sailor."

Paul loved his sausage-making kit that was a Brothers' Day gift from his mother. She loved him so much and wanted him to have home-made sausages a lot whenever he was in the mood. "Mother, without sausages we would have no one but suicidal farmers to shuck the jive with!" Paul exclaimed in a voice that was loud, yet tender; shrill, yet soothing; cold yet tepid. "Yes son, you are the image of your father who possessed the ultimate power of 25 teamsters and 3 bowling alley lane polishers." Later, there was a terrifyingly horrid explosion at the ex-lesbian laundromat on **** Avenue, not the ex-lesbian laundromat on ***** Street. Thank God!