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Dec 2024 · 31
HOW TO SMASH 3 CRABS
TOGETHER TO MAKE A FISH

Fold a crab in half and season it with pepper and then do the same thing to 2 other *****. Lightly smash the 3 ***** with a hammer and then pound them into a fish mold. Is that an ejector toilet? It sure is! I heard it can launch whole turds 80-miles-per-hour 150 feet straight up. It can. What about diarrhea? 200 feet. Wow!
Dec 2024 · 36
Pontiac, Michigan
LOWER LEFT LUNG LOBE LOSS - What kind of weather is this? Gotta keep my mouth shut or the rain'll drown me. Can't ***** in the open because the pig infestation's intense. It's like Pontiac, Michigan in July every day 'round here. It feels like my glands are broken.
Dec 2024 · 147
SLIPPING IN BOWEL MOVEMENT
Free oak firewood with bowel movement. Now performing: Frankie Valli & the Four Bowel Movements! Cat needs good home with bowel movement. Vote for Donald F. Bowel Movement. Only you can prevent forest- bowel-movement fires. Tonight on channel 4 it's True Bowel Movement Grit starring John Bowel Movement Wayne & Glen Campbell. Employees must wash hands during bowel movement.
Dec 2024 · 29
TINA & TANYA
were gal pals before becoming ex-lesbians 10 years before. "I've had a blast since becoming an ex-lesbian," Tina stated on a car loan form that, upon approval, would entitle her to lots of cash-back or what's behind curtain number two.
Dec 2024 · 30
Nigerian splash-back...
I cling to your nether regions when I wear tight britches to make insanely jealous my black hoes & white *******. Your face lights up with the biggest smile when I miss you by inches with jagged floor tile. I can't blame you for urgent life preservation, as my grandma escaped from a Choctaw reservation. Forget me when I'm dead, gone & buried in my grave or the kicks to your midriff that I lovingly gave. I reference Merriam-Webster in Catholic mass, with each page I wipe my careless cares away.
   I love your lard *** & its Nigerian splash-back when I'm not under red alert *** gas attack. Give me specialized, cowardly re-treat treatment while I'm navigating the subtle history of what my elevated toilet seat meant.
Dec 2024 · 36
12 and then 13
THE MOMENT THAT ELTON JOHN BECAME A HOMOSEXUAL seemed like a normal moment, at least the one before did. Elton was just sitting on a lawn chair doing nothing strange when a **** man bent over in front of him to pull up his socks. "Oh my!" Elton exclaimed, prompting the **** man to turn around. "Hello. My name's Julian. Are you a homosexual too?" He asked in a homosexy voice. "I am now!" Elton answered in a way that made him divorce his wife and write the song "Tiny Dancer."
Dec 2024 · 34
Girlfriend Rental
In her state of jumbled jungle-love any monkey could take her at 18
through 34. It might take forever, if not longer, for a ****** **** to
wrong her because she's translucent in her whiteness with fine teeth
& 2 strong thighs, Frenched lips & an intact vaginal structure, curly
toes & a twitch symptomatic of a palsied right eye plus a moist port
of entry for finger pie. Her nose rents with ease after each allergical
sneeze that requires a rescue from a Teresa Teng-asthmatic wheeze.
𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙰𝙽𝙶𝙴𝚁𝚂 𝙾𝙵
𝙶𝙰𝚈 𝙿𝙾𝙴𝚃𝚁𝚈

Example: There’s a guy named Ray whom I suspect is totally gay.
Gay poetry in all its gayety! Here follows yet another
shocking taste: Our local barber: Tomer Mexual, was
an obvious homosexual.
   What must we do to ebb the tide of gay poetry? See the
next example then decide: Steve used to bang his girlfriend
Jen, now he’s banging exclusively men.
   Must we read about the gay life in graphic gay poetry? If you believe not lookie here! My love for my beautiful maiden lass isn’t as strong as it is for some guy’s ***. Disturbing! Gay poetry is all around us, it’s in our soup, our thermometers, yes, even our underwear. To learn more send $47 to Gay Poetry: "The Homosexuals’ Guide to Poetry"; 1621 Gay Way; Go-Gay, Arkansas.
   Just in time for Xmas! U.S. post ofc.-issued gay
stamps commemorating 200 years of ******.
Dec 2024 · 36
Rabbi Shimon
Disney destroyed maternal worries with furnace asphyxiants of gas,
proving that lungs full of carbon monoxide fumes ain't going to last
to see '39 as '38 wafted by in a whiff of monoxidized demise so fast
for those who cartoonize the near-future, animate God's distant past
so as to demand that Rabbi Shimon's Apocalypse tribes be amassed
to pike the head of Charlie Watts as El Shaddai can never be sassed
before a Satanical/congregational flock of U.S.'s pornocratical cast
conjuring underneath a devilishly-****** act's pornographical blast
framed as merry mix-ups the queerest of collusions that flabbergast
regardless of America's oldest race-baitin' chigger's homosexual past
as a Georgia state assembly guy whom toothless ****** outclassed
Oh **** Kiki Ebsen, let's love forever the dead Larry, Moe & Curly
& their lower Australian counterparts: the scuzzy Fairy, ** & Girly
who gulp milk with hens' eggs knowing that not 1 dairy foe is burly
as I wanna see H.P.V. vaccine-pricking-swine Rick Perry goin' surly
like Squiggy might've on Garry Marshall's show Laverne & Shirley
starring Cindy Williams & Penny Marshall whose teeth ain't pearly,
& who in heels & padded bra passes as the twin of Jo Anne Worley
in 1963 when cream was in glass bottles & menopause started early
enough for Lee Oswald before The Eye Shadows backed Merle Lee
Dec 2024 · 42
Hell No Poet Tree
BIG DAN ALWAYS ENCOURAGED MIGRATORY BIRDS to build nests in his skull. 1 day, as he was beating an arrogant Burger King cook to death with a fly swatter, Jesus appeared out of nowhere. "Look out Jesus!" Big Dan warned like he was going to **** Jesus next. Jesus just stared at him. "My Dad will kick your ***!" The Lord exclaimed and He meant it. "I ain't afraid!" Big Dan shot back like he was tougher than Richard Simmons and *** Wee Herman combined to form a super ****** or something.
Dec 2024 · 29
#6722939
HOW TO ENLARGE YOUR PROSTATE EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE! Don't eat food that looks like it came from Burger King. Date women from foreign countries (except Canada). Pick a fight with ghetto Negroes and then disarm them with secret Kung Fu moves that will leave them permanently crippled till they die.
Dec 2024 · 40
HOW LIVING LIKE A MORMON
SOLVED MY MEAT PROBLEM

I was swimming across Lake Huron when a helicopter crash-
ed 500 feet away. I quickly headed in that direction and
eventually saved everybody. The governor was
so gay that he gave me a special award and
invited me to become gay like him (an
invitation I turned down flat). Six
years later the entire surviving
cast of 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑩𝒓𝒂𝒅𝒚 𝑩𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒉 tried
to make me gay, forcing me
to terminate their lives.
(I mean fresh) tantalized young Héctor Sánchez from Norway a lot.
1 Wednesday, as Donna was stuffing a turkey with her bare hands,
Hector walked in. Donna offered to do the same thing to him, but
he was too scared and ran back to Sweden (I mean Norway).
Dec 2024 · 44
12%
12%
HOW I LEARNED TO SLEEP UNDERWATER TO HIDE FROM THE MAFIA! It wasn't easy at first (coming up for air twice per minute) but eventually I mastered the art of staying underwater for 45 seconds (thereby cutting my breathing-time by 12%). Now I'm safe and secure, knowing that if I ever come across a Mafia killer again I can easily escape by submerging myself completely underwater until he goes away in total frustration like the ******* that he is.
Dec 2024 · 37
I'll throw out my Bible
To prove my eternal love for you: I'LL EAT TEN TIMES MORE GLUTEN THAN VLADIMIR PUTIN & GRIGORI RASPUTIN TILL DEATH SETS IN TO MAKE YOU SMILE, three weeks before your homicide trial 𝘢𝘯𝘥 I'll slap sandwiches together on my yacht with fresh ham that I just bought that was stripped from a pig that was recently shot 𝘢𝘯𝘥 I'll take vitamin K in excess to force my blood to clot 𝘢𝘯𝘥 I'll throw out my Bible and forget the psalms I was taught.
Dec 2024 · 38
LET'S EAT GARBAGE
WITH OUR BUDDIES FROM HOLLAND!

The cold dampness of a Siberian winter made Donna and Gretchen
regret their vows to remain ex-lesbians forever. "I wish we were
still lesbians," Donna whined. "Me too," Gretchen whined too.
"Hey!" Donna hey'd. "Why don't we find a hobby that we
can do together?!" Gretchen looked at her like she was
stupid. "A hobby? Like what?" She asked.
"Lesbianism!" Donna exclaimed. "Okay,"
Gretchen responded as if she didn't
like being an ex-lesbian anyway.
"Today's the day, the day that I perform chihuahua resurrection
with Voodoo. I have prepared the corpse by shaving the 8 key
points to be electrified. Let us begin, but first let's drink
battery acid and eat a dog **** for some reason."
My debt bubble has been de-leveraged & I'll fight with guns plastic
'cause in my life defensive maneuvers have been necessarily drastic
when my crooked, fist-fightin' limbs distend Michael J. Fox spastic
Hurry pops the time for peace has degraded into a campaign drastic
as it's off to Wales where Woody, Keef & Charlie have gassed ****
like Churchill planned for Bonn as he thunk toxic gas was fantastic
& normal like switching toothpaste with a gummy resin tree mastic
that's tacky enough to entrap a brown flea but not a ******, fast tick
on Hillary Clinton's saddle-sore ***'s ****-itchy crack iconoclastic
that forces epidemical ****-casting directresses to brutally cast sick
& crippled X-muffers in dramas that are heterophobic & bombastic
& contra-contrary to the T.N.T. needed to nucleate *** & blast hick
to decree '64 as bein' the year of producer Loke Wan Tho's last flick
I am stirred by murmurs of kittens that have daily purred but my fat
cats never bought never sold never used a toilet never spoke a word
as hairy cats are ecstatic to lick hanging parts that are thickly furred
& drenched in muco-pus, river mud, alkaline residue or mouse ****
that's added for spice with green duck gut, snake nose & rotted bird
to commonize felinicidal fare in stitch with farmerettes heatin' curd
to nourish ol' Jimmy Carter robotoid #14 whose death was deferred
to push puppet Lin Forbes Burnham as David Rockefeller preferred
makes recipes valid for McDonald's grinding men into meat absurd
& the cries of ***** smashing periodic squeals into groans unheard
by moon-friendly babes whose quims rest salmon-pink & uninjured
in aspections physico-social via spirographical methods unpictured
regarding cotomaster vulgaris or second-place placers placing third
with ears & belly buttons clogged by **** & blood-shot eyes blurred
Oh **** Kiki Ebsen, let's love forever the dead Larry, Moe & Curly
& their lower Australian counterparts: the scuzzy Fairy, ** & Girly
who gulp milk with hens' eggs knowing that not 1 dairy foe is burly
as I wanna see H.P.V. vaccine-pricking-swine Rick Perry goin' surly
like Squiggy might've on Garry Marshall's show Laverne & Shirley
starring Cindy Williams & Penny Marshall whose teeth ain't pearly,
& who in heels & padded bra passes as the twin of Jo Anne Worley
in 1963 when cream was in glass bottles & menopause started early
enough for Lee Oswald before The Eye Shadows backed Merle Lee
Disney destroyed maternal worries with furnace asphyxiants of gas,
proving that lungs full of carbon monoxide fumes ain't going to last
to see '39 as '38 wafted by in a whiff of monoxidized demise so fast
for those who cartoonize the near-future, animate God's distant past
so as to demand that Rabbi Shimon's Apocalypse tribes be amassed
to pike the head of Charlie Watts as El Shaddai can never be sassed
before a Satanical/congregational flock of U.S.'s pornocratical cast
conjuring underneath a devilishly-****** act's pornographical blast
framed as merry mix-ups the queerest of collusions that flabbergast
regardless of America's oldest race-baitin' ******'s homosexual past
as a Georgia state assembly guy whom toothless ****** outclassed
Whilst masonical N.A.S.A. creates super-speed planets between us,
nobody cares that our 500,000 mile-per-hour sun is paced by Venus
in aether squattin' like California smog in a stab wound of bean pus
that'll render mucho mas gorier the spit-stained walls of a clean bus
driven off the Sunshine Skyway Bridge by a *****-lovin' mean cuss
who aped a weakling diving from tin panels pitched via a lean truss
that constricts **** lard into prime cream corn to make a queen fuss
The costumes of the Gestapo & American cops are black not 'cause
I like hanging out with lynch mobs & ******* ****** in my shack
& writing Bible corollaries after rammin' enemas up my ****** tract
in repugnance to ***-wipe Zbigniew Brzezinski of the Warsaw Pact
as it is Russia's Crimean annexation of 2014 that he's denied as fact
I curl these 10 toes under so they don't get, by a machete, hacked &
I don't date angry Mafia assassins so as to keep from bein' whacked
whilst the pardoning integrity of demi-god mafiosos governs intact,
as sanctity is conferred knowing which cops by the mob are backed
through underworld graft to ensure pig police are doggedly tracked,
framed, extorted, beat up, spiritually broken & emotionally cracked
haunting dank alleys with the hapless citizens they had blackjacked
whose id acuity gave sway to id injury that caused 'em to be sacked
by politicians placed in places as these are places a mob has hacked
with paid-pain-placebo politicos la cosa nostra has placidly backed
& licked, tucked, hocked, blacked, ticked, socked, cocked & tacked
or redacted, corrected, misdirected, uncooked, rooked & shellacked
plus heckled, freckled, prickled, pickled, trickled, kicked & stacked
Las lebianas de T.V. sexcite & thrill as no low caliber gun ever will
on the battlefields of Vietnam where John Kerry liked to run & ****,
before porkin' John Heinz's Satanical widow in a billion-dollar deal
He couldn't kick his habit each mornin' of taking a birth-control pill
or attending parties of talk-show-maggot Donahue to cop a free feel
after crappin' into pizza boxes to implement Lucifer's masonic weal
I forget not from which side my ****, neck-breaking horse I mount:
hormones coursing, **** strap is tight! What in hell am I on about?
I swoon in love, dance over matches, feel *****, steadily lose count
Her cane, her walker, her wheel chair & support hose, quack-quack,
only prove what gigolos have always known, wealthy hags kick ***
in post-menopausal slump on cruise ships ******* apes for a laugh
up my you-know-what that is a big outlet 25 inches north of my calf
whilst allopathic veterinary cat medicine increases misery @ % 7½
because me no understand a tiny bit God's need for famine & wrath
against dullards whose algebra is more mathematic than basic math
that lets me hog-call the glossy-white pig Kathie Lee Gifford: Kath'
after she aborted 3 kiddies under the bridge on the coat hanger path
Many thrillin' Christian facts have just come to light with a colorful
computer-generated face of Lord Jesus, thank God He is very white
so that we may crucify the black Jesus theory without a ****** fight
that'd be the death-kiss for chimps chimping ghetto-ebonics at night
I care for you like a foreign **** with lots of cars in his huge car lot
I know that kitty-soft quims like yours ain't never wholesale bought
I just want to part your pink ******* in bed or on any army cot
I wanna probe the core of your womanhood like your mama taught:
Cousin Jethro, Uncle Jed, André from U.P.S. & that ****** she shot
in cop-crazed self defense as she feared for her personal safety a lot
'cause her husband had to **** Iraqi children in Iraq where he fought
toilet-strain that queered his insane brain giving him queer-brain rot
that bruised his belly button, above primal glands, with a blood clot
big enough to slow Chris Reeve's gallopin' horse to a paralyzed trot
that'd split the greasy 3 hairs on the cue ball of governor Rick Scott
who's a leg-shaving maniac, less frigidly warm than moderately hot
when he enjoys vein-popping-**** straining on his golden **** ***
where-from he farts that it's legal Agenda 21's new-world-order plot
Love me wet, like you loved ****** loving freak Jacques Cousteau
who drowned 350,000 Unitarians via Aqua-Lung, Don't'cha know?
Ah Satan sees Natasha while she'll step on no pets to see juice flow
along direct paths between points A & B, as would fly a sober crow
34 minutes late for an egg-layin' contest & house-cat-skinning show
that we bird-lovin' farts must look up to the sky from hot hell below
where evaporated diarrhea fills Carnation milk cans in a ****** flow
over irradiated breakfast cereal that radiates a healthful, green glow
that'll thaw **** ice & hypothermic ***** on banana cones of snow
I'm better off than dead, not better often dead, Totie Fields, you liar
I won't skate to Ohio whilst my **** is on fire with ****-love desire
Excuse me while I limp to hell, as my leg was pared just after a fire
that makes me hobble to hell after cooking in Gandhi's funeral pyre
The sweet nectar of rector Hector of the Catholic sector gives sway
to conjecture in the Protestant vector as his carotid artery neck tore
The new nectar of Hector rector of the Catholic sector gave sway to
conjecture with an elector of vector 7 as his carotid artery neck tore
As his carotid artery neck tore, a new nectar of rector Hector de the
Catholic sector gave sway to conjecture with an elector of X vector
As his real pecks & neck tore, black neck tar of rector Hector of the
Catholical sector prefecture shot a letcher, a selector & an inspector
With specks of neck gore, the tarry sect tar of trekked-for Hector of
papal facture could catch more than lure ***** ***** on a tech floor
This violent gothical life moved me into a filthy hermit's hut where
it keeps my ***** mouth shut, the limited movement in my left nut
This stupefyin' gothical life dug me into a buried hermit's rut where
it's kept my ***** mouth shut, the poor functionality of my left nut
has kept 666 donkey gobs shut, the campy dysfunctions of a walnut
It's kept my ***** mouth shut, the bad functionality of my hind gut
It keeps my ***** mouth shut, the limited movement in my left nut
It slams my ***** mouth shut, the fun moments of my lard-*** ****
Your pocked *** are 2 flabby people I haven't wanted to meet again
while I'm busy in bee-stung-hive land eating carp bowel & shark fin

DON'T TOUCH MY *** BECAUSE I'M A LESBIAN FOREVER
& ever & no man'll change it because, ****-wise, I'm lesbian-clever
I'll block you soon forever & blacken your eyes & hide your toupée
because I hate you more queerly than prissy Obama hates being gay
with Michael, as he expresses himself better durin' lactation classes
among the hammer-happy Hillary crowd & Bill's ****-****** *****  
that only worsen clownish ***** dunked by red-sock-ducked passes
through to the prostate in lucky, ancient Hugh Hefner ****** sasses
Eddie Money, Johnny Paycheck & Johnny Cash in 32 papal masses
Lord God, let us gaily promote family-oriented regional voter fraud
for a shiksa of the Red Sea whose **** & *** push a solid boater ***
I cocked hitchings to my petcock like a whinin' Alfred Hitchcock in
anticipation of 18 quacked ribs via unpatented Owl **** ***** Sock
as sinus infections purpled nasal-mucopus excreta into an itch pock
Let me scratch your lard *** in peace, a piece of ***, girly hot ridge,
on the farm with lazy Keith, smart-aleck Danny & Shirley Partridge
who refuses to follow hygienical protocols including hand sanitizer
as your glad, toothless Kentuckian chews via a manned-clan incisor
On blood-drenched sheets you scarf Jiff extra crunchy peanut butter forever & want me to love you for it after hurlin' chunky in a gutter
But I got more complex self-respect than blind respect that's simple
for your cheese-spewing-mucopus-heavy-acne-cystical *** pimple
that made Walker McDonald chuck his walker for a steel gimp pole
so that he could pole vault over Bruce Jenner's scrod & shrimp stall
Deeply from the cockpit of my ******'s messy shore I proclaim that
this itchy crack is a filthy treasure by my big ****** ****'s measure
'cause from it venereal-diseased Johns derive lots of carnal pleasure
until their ureters swell shut & good currents of ***** ain't ****-sure
fewer than 6 inches from the **** uretero-pelvic junction's fist core
where M.L.K., junior scratched deeply his pustulating ****** fissure
Shut up hard-*** **** I can buy & sell you whenever I ******* want
Sit there whilst I pray for guidance or I'll kick you for your defiance
Hi, my name's Kandy and I work in a cat house with mucho ******
who are girlfriends of mine plagued by ulcerative, syphilitical sores
made weepy by salts of the briny deep below Jacmel's ocean shores
Insane James Whitmore claims grit poor as he blames **** for what
shames *** sore after eating fried porridge that defied proper storage
Wherever condominiums are posh the battle is delirium vs.delusion
that illustratively eliminates an elusively-shrill illusion of a colossal
cerebral cortex calamity countering cranial, ****-clinching contusion
The gay estrogen king kept his **** well with agents anthelmintical
till he was killed by the girly estrogen king with pills antiparasitical
Algeria, Algeria, I despise you worser than **** films from Nigeria
made by queer-bait crotch crickets afflicted with advanced progeria
that they got from white-phosphorus-bombed kids of peaceful Syria
where Moslemical love thaws the icy hearts of ******* from Siberia
who ran over the Caucasus via Spain's Portuguese peninsula, Iberia
I'm doubly excited about Intact ******* Day I think I am I am sure,
'cause I got a dark cookie doll in raunchy eastern Mexico to live for
which's why the suicidal jump of Evelyn McHale was not vehicular
in traffic flow manual guides, as the crashed car was her stone floor
Commanding Lieutenant William Bligh was the victim of cowardly
mutiny by Acting Lieutenant Fletcher Christian, two years after His
Majesty's Armed Vessel Bounty did sail, 'cause sweaty-palmed freak
Fletch Christian snagged his mutinous, ripped ****** on a bent nail
Don't let's not, not let's don't count on doubt, unsounded into Jersey
where stinking **** #26 is officiously & officially known as **** Z
who'll scrape, bow, prostrate like a girl whose knees shake in curtsy
who'll scrape & prostrate like a lesbian whose **** shakes in curtsy
Look Santa Claus, my purpled *****' knobs are Christ-like & sharp
like push buttons of a dead angel's gaily-strummed, gay-baited harp
Wing Chun my *** up the center line & I'll hide beneath a tarp after
I call first dibs from a toilet, dharma & karma & catfishes kiss carp
I call first dibs from a toilet, dharma & karma & catfish kisses carp
I call first dibs on the toilet! It's daffy dharma over karma or vicky-
verky. Wing Chun my *** up the center line where jerks chaw jerky
I sank to the bottom of your love bucket like mice winning at bingo
for being ******* to cherry wood while houndin' a kid-killin' dingo
Your clingy love has done much to set me free since you lopped off
2 of your straight front limbs to become a crippled, double amputee
during a Jesus-dead Christmas like I don't like it in an ulcerated sea
under the current of a skinny, barbiturated Johnny Cash over for tea
as calculated gastrical absorption rates rate as constants minus a fee
that transmogrifies my sleek, **** **** into the bulbous *** of a bee
what pendulates & undulates below the bend of my lonely left knee
in relation to fly-papered catch-alls & bug zappers in my family tree
where 1 ape wrangler wrangles triangular angles, bangles, spangles
for Christmas like I don't like it because my ******* on ice dangles
whilst fearin' for Winston Smith as to when caged rats/mice fangs'll
avulse eyes & gnaw on his tongue, before weaving nests in his lung
that shall really make it tricky to sing sing-songs he ain't never sung
that'll make it hard to gaily sing sing-songs he ain't never gaily sung
Merry Christmas nice Santa Claus, happy birthday & prepare to die
'cause when it comes to murdering fat men, I'm not the least bit shy
around dippy/daffy ***** too dried out to give it that old college try
outside college because I am the same age while they are a lot older
with bruised head, dented instep, hammer toe & arthritical shoulder
that goes up when I slip down a hill that's got many a loose boulder
to crush Miss Austria even though I once angrily warned & told her
of what's in for tall chicks runnin' ledges in acts dangerously bolder
for beauty queens long in the tooth & **** babes significantly older
whose hottest movements render homely ***** withdrawn & colder
than the homosexy boy-toy lover of Obama pickaninny Eric Holder
from whom I've hid in 32 Kenyan files a blatantly-fraudulent folder
of cheery, cherry Christ Masses reamin' the beheld's queer beholder
GET YOUR HELMET PUDDING today for 30%-off. Moisturize you scalp with Dan's Amazing Helmet Pudding (also relieves ***** rot & **** scaling). Does a family member or loved one of yours suffer from toe fall-off? Have you ever woke up with eight toes even though you went to sleep with nine or ten? Dan's Amazing Helmet Pudding can re-grow a toe in three days. Simply apply the pudding after urinating with a paint brush and wait for the magic to happen. "I fell in love with Dan's Amazing Helmet Pudding and it made me pregnant!" - Claudia Watkins (Waycross, Georgia); "My dad tried to gouge my eyes out with a fishing rod, but fortunately I had enough of Dan's Amazing Helmet Pudding left to throw into his eyes and permanently blind him forever, if not longer!" - Kim Watkins (Claudia's cousin)
Hello! I am Nancy. I have large fish in my brain that eat a lot of my
brain. I get paid every 27 years & so I'm short on money today after
I gambled 8 million dollars and lost but tomorrow is a **** day for
nudies, freaks, weirdos, deviants & homosexual perverts. Let's give
each other back problems. Let's roll with the punches in swamps of
total dissatisfaction as we bathe each other in the big glow of Jesus.
I revere Pope Alexander's son Cesare Borgia as the Caucasian Jesus
'cause his pale mug on Christmas cards is the pale mug that pleases
we schlubs dining on rice & noodles topped with sixty-two cheeses
that attacks hearts pulsing for a Jehovah God who hears and sees us
& forgives us our frailties, our burps, belches, nose hairs & sneezes
in the belly of this tundra where whatever we puke instantly freezes
after quivering like pudding being gagged by consumptive wheezes
mirroring divorced forces ruinous to wives who were John Cleese's
street-walking, clap-ridden, bone-eating, mongrel-dog-faced nieces
who like Walter Sickert's Jack the Ripper would rip you into pieces
then steal your 100-trillion-dollar-Hispaniola-oil-drilling-held leases
Dec 2024 · 38
[kith & kin]
During the process of succumbing to the chronic metabolic
disease cancer, ignorant victims discover their true
selves and the beauty of living life to the fullest by
acknowledging each precious minute in the
company of kith & kin. No one who
raps out from gonorrhea does this.
ᴘᴏꜱᴛ-ᴄʜʀɪꜱᴛᴍᴀꜱ ɪɴ ɴᴏʀᴛʜᴡᴇꜱᴛ ꜱɪɴɢᴀᴘᴏʀᴇ - ɪ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀᴄᴛ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴀ ᴛᴏʏ
ᴡʜɪꜱᴛʟᴇ ᴡʀᴀᴘᴘᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛᴏɪʟᴇᴛ ᴘᴀᴘᴇʀ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴀ ᴄᴀɴᴇ ᴘᴏʟᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ'ᴍ ɪɴ
ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇɢʏᴘᴛɪᴀɴ ᴛᴜɴɴᴇʟ. ɪ ʀᴇᴄᴋᴏɴ (ᴏʀ ɢᴜᴇꜱꜱ) ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴇᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ɪꜱ
ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏʀᴀʀɪʟʏ ᴀʟʟ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴇᴀᴛ ꜱᴘᴀɢʜᴇᴛᴛɪ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ᴀ ᴛᴏɴɢᴜᴇ.
Dec 2024 · 49
Jonas Salk
WEB: Drug companies and regulators have long known about the harmful effects of the oral polio vaccine that includes the live virus. In 1976, vaccine inventor Jonas Salk admitted to the United States Congress that the live polio vaccine was the “principal if not sole cause” of all reported polio cases in the U.S. since 1961, according to Salem News.
And from here the smashed coffee beans are transported by
belts to "cleaning cellars" where filthy zombies rub dog
blood on them before each bean is inspected by a
qualified vampire who inserts them
manually into a witch's ****.
"IT'S CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY TILL YOU DIE!" Santa told his
black husband on the North Pole that was romantically referred
to as Santa's south pole. "I'm like Martin Luther King, Junior
and I'm not gay!" Santa's husband protested as several elves
tied him to a reindeer like he was Ed Asner's lost boyfriend.
SEE WHAT REAL MEN ARE MADE OF at the autopsy exhibit. Food,
fun and beer-swigging for all ticket-holders! Don't sit in the rain when
you can be enjoying family-friendly Viet Cong-style executions! **** a
****** for mommy while large badgers claw at your entrails! Deep-
throat a "big one" in a bread truck! ***** mysterious women with no
clothes on! It's all for charity: Saint Jude's Cancer Torture Hospital!
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