𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 5d

𝙎𝙀𝙀𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙊𝙇𝘿 𝘽𝙄𝙏𝘾𝙃𝙀𝙎 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝙏𝙒𝙄𝙏𝘾𝙃𝙀𝙎 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙮 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙨𝙚. 𝙄𝙩'𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙧𝙤𝙥𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙠𝙡𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙥𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 5d

BEFORE eating another bowlful of red clay, dirt, chalk & paint chips, call mom. She's worried about you. I made a cold drink that's sure to hit the spot: lemonade with kitty litter & motor oil.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 5d

Mermaid Kingdom

HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY FROM NEW JERSEY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE GREEN SARGASSO SEA where nobody is, except people in ships, Karen married her ex-lesbian lover Shirley in a civil ceremony by a mermaid dressed as a bishop. Later, after they consummated their marriage with passionate ex-lesbian ***, they threw each other overboard and were never seen again above water because they're now, presumably, living fifty miles below the surface in the Great Underwater Mermaid Kingdom of Ex-Lesbians that's just like Atlantis except with a full ex-lesbian government.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 5d

Hand me 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘧 𝘎𝘺𝘮 𝘛𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘎𝘢𝘺𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘎𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦 please. The 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵...? You heard me! No I didn't! Yes you did! Hey! Who's the gay one here?!

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 5d

DAD DEEP-FRIED DELICIOUS BEES when I was young for birthday parties and Jewish celebrations. I had a bowlful of hornets when he wasn't looking. It was like eating poker chips with no socks on.

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 5d

LAST NIGHT'S DREAM haunts me. It was about fat women, tons of them, all ready for something. What? I can't say. There were salt and pepper shakers all over the place. I was terrified. I protected my meat. I ******* had to!

𝑺𝒖𝒛𝒚 𝐁𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 5d

𝑶𝒖𝒓 𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐𝒈𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒘𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝒃𝒂𝒈𝒔 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒂𝒈𝒏𝒂 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒔𝒖𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒉 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑾𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒕𝒐𝒏 𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒖𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒉𝒐𝒘.