WAS THAT AN ACCIDENT TOO? I loved you a million times more than your half-sister ever did before you backed over me with your Mack truck. "Sorry," you said. "Are you okay?" You asked. "Sure, I'm fine. I'll feel better after I have my crushed legs amputated." I replied, emotionally hurt and wondering about our future together.

JUANITA'S NEIGHBOR was an ex-lesbian from Canton (the city in Ohio). One day, as they were both revving their car engines, Juanita threw a beer bottle at a cop squatting behind a fire hydrant taking a **** (the cop, not the fire hydrant, was taking a ****). "You can't throw a beer bottle at a cop *******!" The ex-lesbian neighbor exclaimed because she was a crazy-*** cop-lover.

I want to be buried in a grave after I die, not three months before I die and then I want to smoke Mexican cigarettes with a gang of Cuban Negroes for a few days during my next unpaid vacation and then I want to go swimmin' with their crack *** women.

That camper toilet is shaped like Julia Roberts! Yes, that's right. It's useful for campers and their friends in the woods. Simply sit on it and let go. But why is it shaped like Julia Roberts? Because we have a licensing agreement with her brother Eric. He's the brains behind the former beauty.

With Tyrone, La Reessa had known a lot of passion but 1 day Ty &
his ****-buddy fled the ghetto 'cause they found 5 billion pesos with
a note that read: “To Tico for your crippled leg operation from your
good friend Santa Claus.” Later, after a few years had slipped by, at
dawn there was a knock on La Reesa's door. It was old Tyrone with
a smile on his face. “I'm back!” He announced. La Reesa was really
confused. “Tyrone! I thought you were dead!” She screamed as 875
Mexicans surrounded her with work visas. “Christ!” Tyrone yelled.
“Yes!” La Reessa divulged very annoyingly. “I'm the number 1 em-
ployer of temporary Mexican workers in southwestern Minnesota!”