If Elvis hadn't crapped out in 1977, would he still be alive? Possibly. Of course, he could've crapped out in any year since then. Did Elvis ever have spinal surgery? No. Could Elvis swim faster than a dolphin? No. Is it true that Elvis wore a ****-strap lined with mink fur? Yes, but only after midnight. Could Elvis speak Dutch? No. I read that Elvis liked women with large vaginas. Is that true? Yes. Could Elvis sing underwater? No. Nobody can, *******! My uncle could before he drowned. If Elvis were the president of Mexico, would he be able to speak Mexican? Unlikely.

Shortness is the biggest problem for midgets. Normal women don't want them and so they have to settle for ****** women. You can't force-feed midgets to make them taller. I tried that and it doesn't work.